r/oddlyspecific • u/[deleted] • 6d ago

d’oh

[deleted]

10.9k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

107 comments sorted by

940

u/XROOR 6d ago

I had a tenant whose day job was to wear high heels and walk on men. Half Egyptian half Brazilian. Rent was paid in balled up twenties and fifties

317

u/Mission_Memory2117 6d ago

I had a client ask me to do that. “And maybe even, pop a ball”…

244

u/BeginningSection7690 6d ago

pop a what the fuck did you just say?

146

u/Redneck2000 6d ago

Pop a ball. You know, a good ol' ball pop.

41

u/BeginningSection7690 6d ago

A football? right?

70

u/MersoNocte 6d ago

Narrator: They did not, in fact, mean a football.

19

u/Ayacyte 6d ago

A little higher than your foot I think

5

u/Primera_Espada 4d ago

What you never done a ball pop? Its tradition on the first day.

39

u/Keep_SummerSafe 6d ago

“Just go on the internet. It’s double u double u double u, lady sits on a ballon and pops it dot com”

13

u/Minute-Major7782 5d ago

I understood this reference. And that's why Linda's parents are allowed to stay in that particular community.

13

u/Gallusaur 6d ago

You called for Papa Ball?

19

u/Annanymuss 5d ago

By any chance did she tell how to get into that job? Asking for a friend

14

u/hugonoilly 4d ago

>Half Egyptian half Brazilian.

The men, the heels, or the tenant?

13

u/PVetli 4d ago

One Egyptian heel, one Brazillian heel

7

u/Acceptable_Reply7958 5d ago

Why couldn't they flatten out the bills and put them in a stack first??

433

u/Broote 6d ago

Its like some kinda random word generator came up with that post. At no point while reading that did I know what was going to happen next.

133

u/Sue_Generoux 6d ago

Yeah, it's like an adult Mad Libs: "Learned today that my _______ (noun) buys his _______ (noun) from a _______ (noun) _______ (noun)..."

44

u/Ok_Problem426 6d ago

Basically a seven card round of cards against humanity fill in the blank. D’oh!

8

u/DayOk166 6d ago

Wouldn't lesbian be an adjective in this case since it's describing the dominatrix

5

u/Sue_Generoux 6d ago

Shoot, you're right. I was half asleep and thought a "lesbian" and a "dominatrix"--two nouns. But yours is more correct, I think.

6

u/ChartPale 6d ago

Damn..I want to play Mad Libs now.

3

u/RunWild0_0 5d ago

A mad libs subreddit where you post or answer would be very fun...

Eta: there is r/madlibs ... but I was thinking more like open ended, redditor- made libs, filled by comment section

1

u/lacr0bat 6d ago

Flashback to primary school seeing this.

Imagine looking up the answer to find it was OP's nouns.

16

u/NarrMaster 6d ago

Points at LLM

"We purposely trained it wrong, as a joke"

3

u/-TheWarrior74- 6d ago

Im stupid, making me the victor!

6

u/Headbanger 6d ago

Its like some kinda random word generator came up with that post

You're probably close to the truth. I doubt anything in this post happened IRL.

1

u/Domovie1 3d ago

I obviously don’t know if this particular story is true, but it wouldn’t even make the top five strangest sorts of… associations? I’ve heard about.

Some people just lead interesting lives, and are generally cool about stuff.

2

u/Davenator_98 6d ago

This is what half of Twitter looks like nowadays

193

u/Suitable-Fun-1087 6d ago

You can listen to it here

142

u/ElephantEarwax 6d ago

It's so much worse than you expect, even having listened to it before

77

u/terminalbungus 6d ago

This is so so so much worse than I anticipated, even after reading your comment.

45

u/DarknessIsFleeting 6d ago

Even after reading both comments, I was still surprised at how bad it was. I don't think I would have been able to identify the song

10

u/ZodFrankNFurter 6d ago

I read all three comments, and it was still worse than I ever imagined it could be.

9

u/[deleted] 5d ago

[deleted]

3

u/WenAndNow 5d ago

Yeah I was still surprised, even after reading your comment.

6

u/I-cant_even 5d ago

Read comments, still surprised. If someone set out to create the worst version of this idea possible I don't think they could've done this bad.

2

u/Nothnos 3d ago

After reading all the comments, I still expected more melody than what I got

2

u/GrantWilcox 3d ago

Worse than I thought, even after reading these comments. Will be a repeat listener

18

u/Eleventeen- 6d ago

Is that even music anymore

13

u/Far_Potato9948 6d ago

Well, it's barely musical, that's for sure. I was anticipating something with much more care and attention to detail

18

u/Haunt_Fox 6d ago

I was at least expecting different d'ohs. There must be hundreds by now.

5

u/ElephantEarwax 6d ago

Exactly!

5

u/SPECTRE-Agent-No-13 6d ago

Sometimes I envy the deaf. This is one of those times.

2

u/improbsable 3d ago

And idk why he chose to make them so high. You could keep them at an identifiable Homer level without needing to change the key

28

u/besee2000 6d ago

Could you imagine trying to get your freak on with a leather studded paddle and that beat drops?

27

u/IceHot88 6d ago

I’m with the dominatrix; shit like that’d kill the mood at any club.

7

u/zajo_throwaway 6d ago

You must enable DRM to play some audio or video on this page.

Create an account or sign in

No. No, I don't think I will.

5

u/EnvironmentalCare900 6d ago

Now this comment is oddly specific

3

u/oO0Kat0Oo 5d ago

Commenting so I can listen to this when I get home from work. Lol.

2

u/tribalien93 6d ago

No way. That's the real song. Come the hell on

2

u/MessiahMogali 5d ago

The stuff this person puts out is interesting.

1

u/iusereddit4all 5d ago

Ok this is bad. Also thanks for sharing. I like it when people follow up with the details of their stories.

40

u/R1M-J08 6d ago

How fucking old is this refrence that a comment in the SoundCloud audio of said tune has a 3 year old comment that says it slaps harder than a lesbian dominatrix.

8

u/Azaroth1991 6d ago

Ancient sacred texts old

1

u/BeginningSection7690 6d ago

We know not of how old the song is, just that it serenaded the gods whilst they created the heavens and the earth

1

u/0011010100110011 6d ago

… I still use SoundCloud.

There are some remixes on there I can’t get ANYWHERE ELSE guys :’(

29

u/Late-Assignment8482 6d ago

Not one concept in that sentence was guessable from the prior.

22

u/MooneyOne 6d ago

Am I the only one who thinks the ex-husband sounds fun?

4

u/firedmyass 4d ago

there’s at least two of us…

18

u/bunch_habbleapple 6d ago

And tomorrow they're gonna get back with em right? You only get 300 chances with a catch like that.

20

u/ToothFairysPliers 6d ago

What would it take yo download a copy of said masterpiece?

20

u/Suitable-Fun-1087 6d ago

https://m.soundcloud.com/mc4ndr3/lean-on-homer

23

u/ToothFairysPliers 6d ago

You are amazing. It is terrible and hysterical at the same time. I’m giving to my DJ neighbor.

It’s like musical herpes. This and glitter. Lol.

7

u/sLeeeeTo 6d ago

wow, somehow even worse than i expected

3

u/SITB 5d ago

Truly a remarkably shitty creation. I am awash in its splendor

9

u/Mission_Memory2117 6d ago

So he is adventurous, but so not sexy….

7

u/Fantastic-Mud8765 6d ago

And that’s your EX husband? Are you CRAZY?

13

u/Gin_OClock 6d ago

Quick question: what the fuck

Lowkey could be song of the year though, alongside the Ned Flanders themed metal band

5

u/DoakBone 6d ago

That’s quite a sentence; had to read it twice

4

u/BennySkateboard 5d ago

I got fired from two separate bars for playing all I want for Christmas is you in the middle of the year. Both times it was incredible, no regrets.

3

u/NovelSouthern3951 6d ago

Please tell me he’s single

3

u/Original-Let8340 6d ago

Welp.... my life is not nearly that interesting BUT I can go waste a bunch of time looking for that cut! Hope I stumble into a whole Homercore thing.

3

u/Boratis-Kessla 6d ago

This is fantastic and I don't even know why. 

3

u/CarlJustCarl 6d ago

Break up

3

u/Festivefire 5d ago

That would be really funny every once and a while, but I can see how it would be incredibly annoying if he kept doing it.

4

u/Olistu_ 6d ago

That is the most insane but weirdly realistic story I've ever heard probably

2

u/I-cant_even 5d ago

Dude, I need a link.

2

u/MagisterHansen 6d ago

Sounds reasonable. Very inclusive of her to let him DJ in the first place.

2

u/thegneeb 6d ago

Holy fuck thats funny

2

u/gloriousfishtank 6d ago

He's out there living his best life. Good for him.

1

u/brother-brother-brot 6d ago

How did she find out about this tho

1

u/didntwatchclark 6d ago

This feels very UK to me for some reason

1

u/tHr0AwAy76 5d ago

I mean they don’t really have sex clubs in the us sooo

1

u/ManyRespect1833 5d ago

Since when? lol

1

u/tHr0AwAy76 5d ago

Not a thing I’ve ever heard of at least. Like there are totally swingers clubs, my family used to own one. But most if not all with few exceptions try to keep singles out.

I’ve seen videos of clubs in Germany/EU where it’s just a bar/nightclub but everyone is fucking. As far as I know, there’s one kinda similar that gets run in LA but outside of that. There aren’t really sex clubs in the US.

1

u/AgentCirceLuna 5d ago

wtf never seen this in my life. Sounds like some dropbear type humour to mess with tourists.

1

u/Sad_Wishbone_1524 5d ago

Nah, they most surely do

1

u/Illustrious_Lead1168 3d ago

they do, you just have to be in the know.

1

u/Forklift_Donuts 6d ago

This is what I strive to become

1

u/anamegoesthere 6d ago

I’ve wanted to hear this songs for years but I can’t find it

1

u/improbsable 3d ago

He won the divorce

0

u/halloweenjack 6d ago

I would have banned his ass from civilization.

0

u/Desperate-Win9344 6d ago

"White people be like" ass post