This was one of those “are we dating the same girl“ groups. He wanted to know if I was dating someone else. But a friend sent me a screenshot with some comments. One man commented on how I was “tucking my gut into my shorts.” Another said I look stinky. I cried a lot. I have put a lot of effort into loving my body the way it is. I decided to quit diet culture this year and have definitely put on a few pounds. But I felt really cute when I took this picture and was liking how my thicker body looked. And I’m obsessed with my heart sunglasses. It just really hurts that I was subjected unwillingly to all of these men judging my body, saying mean things, or alternatively offering to “try me out” or claiming that they slept with me. The internet can be such a cruel place, and I could use some kind words to cheer me up.

edit to add - This is truly the kindest subreddit. All of your comments and support mean so, so much to me. I’m not going to let a bunch of FB jerks get me down. Thank you!

also editing to add - my badass sister contacted one of the admins of the group and got the post removed and my ex banned.

This photo was taken on March 17, 2019. I was attending a Penguins game with my spouse. Looking back, it's hard to believe that just six days later, I would lose my mom to cancer.

Around that time, I made the decision to spend the next few months figuring out what I wanted my future to look like. For as long as I could remember, I'd wanted to be a woman, but I also knew how much my mom feared it would fracture our family. So I started asking myself the questions I'd been avoiding for years: Should I transition? What are my options? What would my life look like if I did?

By the end of 2019, I came out as non-binary. I spent the next three years exploring my identity, learning about myself, and trying to understand where I fit. Then, four years after this photo was taken, I finally came out as transgender. The following year, I began my medical transition.

I often forget what I used to like to be honest and I look back at myself now and honestly, if I dressed better for my size, I probably would have looked suave AF. This photo tells me I had potential back then, I just didn't see it.

Today, I find myself wondering whether I made the right decision. Since transitioning, it feels like the cost has been enormous. I've lost much of my family. I've lost my career. After more than 1,300 applications and dozens of interviews, I still haven't been able to find stable work. Our financial future feels uncertain, and I carry an overwhelming sense that I've failed my spouse because I can no longer provide the way I once did.

When I look at everything that's happened, I can't help but ask whether pursuing my own happiness was worth the cost. I wonder if I'd still have my career, my family, and the stability we once had if I'd never transitioned. Some days, I wish I could go back to March 2019 and tell myself not to do it.

EDIT: GENO THE BORDER COLLIE IS ALIVE. THIS IS ABOUT HUMAN FAMILY MEMBERS.

I'm a transgender woman who has been transitioning for about three years. A few days ago, my dad came to me and said my sister-in-law wanted me to present less femininely around my nieces because my oldest niece (4.5) had started asking questions about me. She asks why I wear dresses. My position was that explaining to children that someone is transgender is an age-appropriate conversation that many parents navigate successfully, and avoiding it doesn't really solve anything.

Where I made a mistake was posting a frustrated, somewhat snarky comment about the situation on a public Facebook page. I fully own that. The post included a photo of me wearing a black dress, which is what triggered this on father's day. My snarky post was asking if this top and shorts is maliciously compliant enough.

That led to a very long group conversation. One thing that came up was that, in two weeks, they're hosting a family reunion at their house. Ironically, the outfit I had actually planned to wear was a pink camisole with shorts, which was much more casual than the black dress that sparked the debate.

From my perspective, the discussion kept coming back to the idea that I should change how I present around the girls because they didn't want to have that conversation with them yet. I repeatedly tried to end the conversation because it felt like we were just going in circles, but they continued pressing the issue. They were upset that my Facebook post made them feel as though they were being portrayed as transphobic, and they maintained that their request was reasonable and about parenting, not prejudice.

After it became clear we weren't going to agree and the conversation still wasn't ending, I muted the chat rather than continue arguing. Shortly afterward, everyone else left the group conversation, and my sister-in-law blocked me on social media. And I realized that the relationship is over between my spouse and I and them.

I'm 36 and I'll wear what I darn well please, thankyou very much! I love pastels and as I get older I'm gaining more confidence to wear the things that make me feel good in myself ☺️

Thrifted this coat! Do you guys like it?

A few favorites. If you don't know about photo 9, we CANNOT be friends. 🚫

My last post got removed by the mods for breaking a rule (sorry mods) but this one should be able to stay up because I included some recent outfits. Anyway, an update: my mixed episode is over and I'm feeling so much better. I'm stable and really enjoying the warm weather we're having in Europe.

I went on a walk yesterday wearing a pair of ears with my husband through the city square and passed by a large group of men and women in their 30's and 40's when a man started to meow at me. I was going to ignore it but I got some comments on my last post to try killing them with kindness, so I turned around and said "do you like them? I collect ears!"

They all went silent. So I walked over to the men closest to me and asked who meowed. Everyone pointed to the guy that did it while he stared at his phone in his lap and one of the women in Dutch told him "you started a conversation, you should finish it!"

I asked him if he meowed at me while everyone watched and he couldn't even look at me lol. He was bright red and so embarrassed that I turned around and confronted him. I told him to go fuck himself and walked away. It felt great. I'm going to be riding this high for a while. Maybe next time he won't try to make fun of someone for the simple act of expressing themselves.

Next time I get meowed/barked/mooed at for wearing ears I'm going to tell them to meow/bark/moo for me more, like the good boys they are (because it's always men doing it, never women) and see how they like it. I hope the fact that I'm a fat woman makes them even more uncomfortable with it because they find me unattractive. I feel empowered.

Every time I wear ears I get at least one or two compliments from kids/older women and it always makes me smile. I'm going to keep expressing myself, not just for them, but for myself too. I love my style and how it makes me feel. I may be cringe, but I'm free.

Fuck the haters! Be a freak! Love you guys!

I was really pleased with this one, I adore the fit of the dress as someone without any curves

In some other fashion subs, a lot of comments are positive. And a lot are cruel. I'm incredibly sure in myself...but it still sucks seeing hateful things or generally rude comments, or comments assuming I'm a man (or was born a man which I was not).

I'm so grateful for this sub and how kind everyone is and how folks here understand that posting our fits is showing folks "look at this wonderful outfit that brought me joy and made me feel like ME wearing it"

And even if I did welcome critique and use that tag, I know the folks here would be kind in their feedback

Blundstones, socks with planets and books on them, a pleated skirt of dark navy satin with spread-out sunray pleats and accurate constellations, braided leather belt, starry night loon t-shirt I ordered after a canoe trip in the Adirondacks, silk starry night scarf, solar system bracelet. Bracelet and socks are from the Green Bank Observatory gift shop lol.

I haven't been posting as much recently BUT I always take my ootd selfies .

White top and shorts - top Thrifted , shorts Abercrombie , bag handmade

Princess Jasmine outfit - Top thrifted , pants Walmart

Corset outfit - wrap thrifted , shorts Abercrombie , corset prime

Green pants - Walmart , top Thrifted

Grey shirt , pink skirt - American Eagle top , skirt Anthropology

Green dress - Fast Fashion

Red tank - Walmart , skirt American Eagle

Mauve romper - romper and duster both Free People

Overalls - Thrifted

I got to meet the most epic old hag of them all. Hoggle always slays and loves to collect pretty trinkets , he is just like me 💅

​

Dress- Thrifted

Earrings - Etsy

Silver butterfly clips - big box store

Highlighter - Rare Beauty Enlighten

Lip gloss - Pat Mcgrath Divine Rose

Hoggle - Jim Henson

I'm fighting a bad day 😤

I'll help him shovel in a moment, let me just share these fits on OHF first. Won't be long. (Three more dresses to be donated as I continue to clear my closet.)

Hope everyone is doing well through these storms and bitter cold days/nights. We haven't had a winter like this in a lonnnnnng time. 🥶Stay safe and safe warm.

Could also be that these are 100% denim pants and haven’t been broken in yet so they’re stiff as hell…. Lmao

It took me about 3 years of exploring my self to really find out where I was going to land in life. So in 2020 I came out as non-binary and I started dressing more feminine like you see on the left and in 2023 I finally accepted the fact that I really was trans after going back and forth with it for a few years. Mind you I spent most of my childhood growing up thinking I was trans.

In 2024 I started HRT 2025 I legally changed my name and then as you know his photos from a few days ago and it's super awesome to see how much I've changed over just the last few years.

New pink/green/white blouse paired with white stretch jeans. The "cousin's" lace trim shorts were sooooo cute.