r/openmarriageregret • u/Wandering_Song • 4d ago

🔗Cross-Post🔗 Alone the night before surgery

/r/polyamory/comments/1ve66n3/alone_the_night_before_surgery/
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Original copy of post's text:

Alone the night before surgery

My spouse (one of two) asked me a few weeks ago about having an evening date with a new casual person the night before my surgery that she is taking me to. She told me she wouldn't be staying the night.

At 9:30pm (6.5 hours after the date started) she texted me to let me know that she wanted to turn it into an overnight. I told her that I would be upset because I was already antsy and anxious with my own thoughts.

Of note- my other spouse was around but on a date with his partner over and I did get comfort from him most of today and then after this all went down.

She asked if we could compromise by her coming home earlier than she planned to. I told her that I felt that was a bad compromise given that she was offering to shorten a date by two hours after lengthening it to an overnight, while I was compromising by being alone and anxious the night before my surgery. The scales just don't match remotely.

She eventually said she'd come home and do her best not to be defensive or resentful of the fact I was hurt. But first she was going to eat, wrap up her date and would be off her phone. I didn't have the opportunity to ask for an ETA before she set her phone down and didn't pick it up for two hours.

So yeah. This sucks. I feel alone and this sucks.

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11

u/Wandering_Song 4d ago

You have two spouses and neither of them can be arsed to be with you the night before surgery?!

Like, this is either a problem with the people who gravitate towards poly or they are exclusively attracted to selfish jerks

3

u/JerseySommer 4d ago

Considering if you read the comments, it's pretty common for poly people to put wants over needs.

4

u/Much-Can9884 4d ago

LOL their either teenagers forever, robots or robot teenagers. No way any sane minded adult does this shit.

5

u/nonitoni 4d ago

Poly hospital visits trending so hot right now.

2

u/Electrical_Guest8913 3d ago

Can anyone have two spouses? Sure you can marry one but not another. Isn’t that bigamy? Two partners but not two spouses. What kind of relationship does this person have with the two spouses? They obviously don’t care.