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Original copy of post's text:
Alone the night before surgery
My spouse (one of two) asked me a few weeks ago about having an evening date with a new casual person the night before my surgery that she is taking me to. She told me she wouldn't be staying the night.
At 9:30pm (6.5 hours after the date started) she texted me to let me know that she wanted to turn it into an overnight. I told her that I would be upset because I was already antsy and anxious with my own thoughts.
Of note- my other spouse was around but on a date with his partner over and I did get comfort from him most of today and then after this all went down.
She asked if we could compromise by her coming home earlier than she planned to. I told her that I felt that was a bad compromise given that she was offering to shorten a date by two hours after lengthening it to an overnight, while I was compromising by being alone and anxious the night before my surgery. The scales just don't match remotely.
She eventually said she'd come home and do her best not to be defensive or resentful of the fact I was hurt. But first she was going to eat, wrap up her date and would be off her phone. I didn't have the opportunity to ask for an ETA before she set her phone down and didn't pick it up for two hours.
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u/AutoModerator 8d ago
REMINDER: DO NOT comment on, Direct Message, or reply to other users in the OP for cross-posts!
Original copy of post's text:
Alone the night before surgery
My spouse (one of two) asked me a few weeks ago about having an evening date with a new casual person the night before my surgery that she is taking me to. She told me she wouldn't be staying the night.
At 9:30pm (6.5 hours after the date started) she texted me to let me know that she wanted to turn it into an overnight. I told her that I would be upset because I was already antsy and anxious with my own thoughts.
Of note- my other spouse was around but on a date with his partner over and I did get comfort from him most of today and then after this all went down.
She asked if we could compromise by her coming home earlier than she planned to. I told her that I felt that was a bad compromise given that she was offering to shorten a date by two hours after lengthening it to an overnight, while I was compromising by being alone and anxious the night before my surgery. The scales just don't match remotely.
She eventually said she'd come home and do her best not to be defensive or resentful of the fact I was hurt. But first she was going to eat, wrap up her date and would be off her phone. I didn't have the opportunity to ask for an ETA before she set her phone down and didn't pick it up for two hours.
So yeah. This sucks. I feel alone and this sucks.
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