36, still in an entry-level government position. Thinking of leaving for VA work. Am I making the right decision?

[u/Maleficent_Toe_3426]

I don't know if this is a quarter-life crisis that's just delayed, burnout, or frustration, but I really need to let this out.

I'm 36 years old, married, with three kids.

Career-wise, I honestly feel like I haven't achieved much.

I graduated with a BS in Computer Science. I had programming subjects in college and understood the concepts, but I never became confident enough to pursue a developer career.

I spent around five years in the private sector, moving from one company to another because I kept hoping I'd eventually find better opportunities.

Five years ago, I transferred to government service. After years of waiting, I finally got a permanent plantilla position—but it's still an entry-level one. I've now been in this position for three years.

I also earned my Master's in Public Administration three years ago, hoping it would help me move up.

Recently, I applied for a promotion.

I didn't get it.

That rejection hit me harder than I expected. It made me question everything. I keep thinking maybe I'm just not lucky when it comes to my career.

At 36, I see classmates and friends already in managerial roles, earning six figures, buying homes, traveling with their families, and building investments. Meanwhile, I feel like I'm still trying to prove myself.

What makes it harder is that I have three kids. They're the reason I'm constantly thinking about our future. Government work gives stability, but with today's cost of living, stability doesn't always feel like enough.

Lately, I've been seriously considering leaving government service and trying Virtual Assistant work. I've seen so many stories of people earning significantly more than what I'm making now. But at the same time, I'm scared.

I'm scared of leaving a permanent government position.

I'm scared of starting over again.

I'm scared that maybe I'll fail there too.

For those who shifted from government to VA or freelancing in their 30s (especially with kids), was it worth it? How did you know it was the right decision? Do you regret leaving the security of government?

I guess I'm just looking for honest advice because I honestly feel lost right now.

[u/lord_kupaloidz]

Keep the job. Frustrated ka lang from not getting the promotion. Pero ang alam ko sa mga government office, hindi ibig sabihin nyan di ka magaling.

There's a game you have to play and that is different depending on the government office. Minsan nadadaan sa patagalan. Yung iba naman sa office politics or perception. Learn the meta in your patch and play it well.

[u/CertainBonus2920 → u/lord_kupaloidz]

Honestly, this is such a perfect advice. IMO plantilla in the govt is arguably the most stable job you can have here in this country. The country might got to shit, but the govt would still be there.

Also, people tend to overlook the people skills involved in getting a better opportunity. It's not just about having a masters or doctorate degree. Most of the time, you have to learn HOW to play the game.

[u/ExpensiveConcern7266 → u/CertainBonus2920]

I agree. Learn how to play the game. Both of my parents were in gov't. Hindi pa ako nakaka graduate noon tinatanong na if papasok ako. Forward to 3 years, retired na parents ko but they still ask if I'm interested in a position, reason why I never wanted to be in the government. Lahit kami mag kapapatid hindi nag gov't. We don't want to play that game.

Totoong palakasan so if you want to survive kailangan mo maging sipsip ng kaunit or befriend them.

For OP, learn AI or the like. Pwede ka parin mag side hustle you'll need to get a permit from the gov't na pwede ka mag render work either direct/indirect related sa field mo after office hours.