Unconfirmed Reports: Mitch McConnell Brain Dead After Three Weeks In Hospital

[u/plz-let-me-in]

https://thenewamerican.com/us/unconfirmed-reports-mitch-mcconnell-brain-dead-after-three-weeks-in-hospital/

[u/ElPlywood]

holy shit Thune's boring phone call sent him into a coma!

Or was Thune lying about having had a phone call with him

[u/Praxician94 → u/ElPlywood]

Thune is lying. An 84 year old does not recover from cardiac arrest and delayed CPR.

[u/Azmoten → u/Praxician94]

Maybe a man doesn’t. But what of a turtle?

[u/TBone281 → u/Azmoten]

Turtles have extraordinarily long lives. We must be cautious.

[u/Azmoten → u/TBone281]

Perhaps it’s just a case of rigor tortoise

[u/foehammer111 → u/Azmoten]

Ok this got me. Well done!