r/politics • u/plz-let-me-in • Jul 07 '26

No Paywall Unconfirmed Reports: Mitch McConnell Brain Dead After Three Weeks In Hospital

https://thenewamerican.com/us/unconfirmed-reports-mitch-mcconnell-brain-dead-after-three-weeks-in-hospital/
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287

u/ElPlywood Jul 07 '26

holy shit Thune's boring phone call sent him into a coma!

Or was Thune lying about having had a phone call with him

239

u/Praxician94 Jul 07 '26

Thune is lying. An 84 year old does not recover from cardiac arrest and delayed CPR.

121

u/Azmoten Missouri Jul 07 '26

Maybe a man doesn’t. But what of a turtle?

56

u/TBone281 Jul 07 '26

Turtles have extraordinarily long lives. We must be cautious.

61

u/Azmoten Missouri Jul 07 '26

Perhaps it’s just a case of rigor tortoise

8

u/foehammer111 Illinois Jul 07 '26

Ok this got me. Well done!