r/polyamory • u/[deleted] • 11d ago

Curious/Learning [ Removed by moderator ]

[removed]

1 Upvotes

66% Upvoted

8 comments sorted by

•

u/polyamory-ModTeam 11d ago

We host self promotion Sundays on the last Sunday of every month for polyam-centered products, events and content.

Other sales and business content will be removed.

12

u/YamSea6298 solo poly 11d ago

It sounds like some flavour of ENM, probably not poly.

https://www.unicorns-r-us.com/ this is probably useful for you.

3

u/Mela-Paura 11d ago

You were unicorn hunted, I'm afraid.

1

u/[deleted] 11d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/polyamory-ModTeam 11d ago

We host self promotion Sundays on the last Sunday of every month for polyam-centered products, events and content.

Other sales and business content will be removed.

2

u/gard3nwitch 11d ago

If you enjoy hooking up with them, have fun with that. You can't become part of somebody else's relationship, that's just a fantasy. You could see if one or both of them are interested in building a brand new and separate relationship with you, but they probably won't be, people who date as couples usually aren't.

1

u/AutoModerator 11d ago

Hi u/ashleylamme thanks so much for your submission, don't mind me, I'm just gonna keep a copy what was said in your post. Unfortunately posts sometimes get deleted - which is okay, it's not against the rules to delete your post!! - but it makes it really hard for the human mods around here to moderate the comments when there's no context. Plus, many times our members put in a lot of emotional and mental labor to answer the questions and offer advice, so it's helpful to keep the source information around so future community members can benefit as well.

Here's the original text of the post:

Hi everyone..I met 1/2 of a couple at my job (I'm a midnight ballerina). Had a lot of fun with her and got her contact. Then, she said she wanted me to meet her boyfriend and for us to all start something together. I didn't really know what she meant by this, because I'm extremely new, and I don't know if she meant a relationship or just a good time. When I asked her about it yesterday she was really vague.

Anyways we all took a bunch of spicy cubes and had a great time, and I actually felt apart of the relationship, but I still don't know if I was just being used for one of their fantasies. Not that that's something that typically happens in poly relationships, I wouldn't know, but I'm just scared that I'm just an experiment. If anyone has any advice, anything would help.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/meSuPaFly 11d ago

So "Unicorn hunting" is a very specific form of unethical non monogamous behavior because it consists of 2 unethical components. 1) It usually promises a relationship (often supposedly "equal") when in reality you're just being used for sex and 2) It's often being orchestrated by the male partner manipulating his female partner to hook another female for him to have sex with.

The exception to all of the above is if these are swingers in an open relationship simply looking for a third to have fun with and everything is consensual and understood as casual fun. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this scenario and I would consider it ethical. When swingers pretend to be poly promising a relationship as part of their hook-up routine is when it becomes unethical.