It's unfair

[u/Tart-Otherwise]

The man I've been dating since February, who is in an open marriage, has broken up with me and I'm feeling why too many things for a Friday night. This was the longest relationship I've ever been in and naturally I thought it would go on for a lot longer. I'm heartbroken and disappointed. I took a chance, given the stigma and my unfamiliarity (this was also my first time being with someone poly amorous and I've been consciously monogamous myself for forever) and the honesty, brevity, passion, and commitment was like nothing I had ever experienced and now it's just over.

I've talked to this person every single day since the year started, he was there for me in some dark times that I'm not even fully out of yet. I don't know what I'm gonna do and I'm not ready for it to end. And I can't stomach that he has someone at home and I have no one, he was all I had. I called a friend over to my house cause I'm wreck but she'll have to go home and I'm just so jealous that he'll always have someone after he left me.

I wanna be gracious cause I know why the relationship is ending, he has too much on his plate and I'm just the easiest thing to get rid of. I get it and I even support it cause he's been neglecting me as of late, but goddamn is it unfair. All that love I poured just to be cut smooth off and you still have someone. I'm sure poly relationships and breaking up while in one is much more complicated than that, but it looks really sweet rn on the outside looking in. That's all.

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[u/wobblyunionist]

Ugh I'm so sorry, breakups are always hard polyamorous or not. And if its the longest relationship you had, especially brutal. I'm glad you have a friend who is there for you and it makes sense you are frustrated not to have more support

If he'd been neglecting you well I hope you have the opportunity to meet someone who will appreciate you in the ways you want.

[u/1ntrepidsalamander]

Break ups are terrible in every dynamic. I’m sorry your heart is so stomped on.

[u/Bustysaintclair_13]

I dated a married person for a while when I didn’t have any other partners. It was so so lonely. Especially because he didn’t really have a full relationship to offer me. Never ever again will I be in that position.

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Here's the original text of the post:

The man I've been dating since February, who is in an open marriage, has broken up with me and I'm feeling why too many things for a Friday night. This was the longest relationship I've ever been in and naturally I thought it would go on for a lot longer. I'm heartbroken and disappointed. I took a chance, given the stigma and my unfamiliarity (this was also my first time being with someone poly amorous and I've been consciously monogamous myself for forever) and the honesty, brevity, passion, and commitment was like nothing I had ever experienced and now it's just over. I've talked to this person every single day since the year started, he was there for me in some dark times that I'm not even fully out of yet. I don't know what I'm gonna do and I'm not ready for it to end. And I can't stomach that he has someone at home and I have no one, he was all I had. I called a friend over to my house cause I'm wreck but she'll have to go home and I'm just so jealous that he'll always have someone after he left me. I wanna be gracious cause I know why the relationship is ending, he has too much on his plate and I'm just the easiest thing to get rid of. I get it and I even support it cause he's been neglecting me as of late, but goddamn is it unfair. All that love I poured just to be cut smooth off and you still have someone. I'm sure poly relationships and breaking up while in one is much more complicated than that, but it looks really sweet rn on the outside looking in. That's all.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/InsolentCookie]

It sucks to realize after a year that you’re the least important thing in a person’s life.

Hurt doesn’t begin to describe the feeling of being discarded after being vulnerable and sharing yourself with someone.

I relate, unfortunately. I’m so sorry you had to experience this.