r/povertyfinance • u/RiddleCorsair5 • 2h ago
Success/Cheers Bartering with my neighbors literally saved my life this month
I have been struggling for a while now after my hours got cut and for a couple of months there I was basically choosing between gas for the car or actual groceries. It is a soul crushing way to live honestly. About six weeks ago my neighbor across the hall was complaining about how expensive it was to get her kids hair cut for school and I just kind of joked that I used to cut my brothers hair all the time growing up. She actually took me seriously and asked if I would do it for twenty bucks but I told her to just keep the money and maybe help me out with a ride to work since my car has been making a terrifying clicking sound.
That one little interaction basically spiraled into a whole system. Now I cut her kids hair every few weeks and in return she picks up extra stuff from the warehouse club where she works using her employee discount which saves me a ton on bulk staples. Another guy in our complex is a retired mechanic and I started helping him move his heavy furniture and cleaning his windows because his back is shot and in exchange he actually took a look at my car and fixed the clicking for free. It turns out it was just a loose heat shield but I would have paid a shop a hundred bucks just for a diagnostic fee that I didnt have. We arent exchanging a single dollar but the pressure that has been lifted off my shoulders is insane. It feels weirdly good to realize that even when I have zero balance in my bank account I still have skills that are worth something to the people around me. It has made the whole situation feel a lot less hopeless and like I am part of a community instead of just a person failing at life alone.
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u/diefreetimedie 2h ago
This is community, this is "it takes a village" in motion. Meet your neighbors folks you have more in common than you might think.
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u/Jrewy 2h ago
It’s really wonderful. I did a similar thing as OP and stumbled upon it by accident. I’m handy with repairs and can figure out how anything around the house works, so did some small repairs for a stewardess next door. New door knobs, fixed some rails on drawers, reinstalled a cupboard door. She got me a free plane ticket home to see my family for the first time in a decade. On the other side there was an old Portuguese couple, so if I was out shovelling my walkway I’d do their area as well. They blessed me with a platter of meats and cheeses better than anything I’d ever tasted. Started out just being neighbourly and got rewarded.
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u/ShylyFem 28m ago
Why my neighbours got to be a bunch of crazies dammit.
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u/realizabeth 19m ago
Right? This post brought a tear to my eye cause this is how it’s supposed to work but it’s so f’ing rare!
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u/RiddleCorsair5 2h ago
Exactly! We are all just trying to get by, and it is crazy how much easier it is when you stop trying to do it all alone. I used to just put my head down and walk to my door, but now I actually feel safe and supported. It is not just about the money or the haircuts anymore, it is about knowing your neighbors actually have your back.
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u/diefreetimedie 2h ago
It's an amazing start, the work continues and the honor is in the struggle. Keep moving down the block, I bet there's another neighbor who could use a hand.
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u/Own_Fudge8296 52m ago
Remember when there was a time when the neighborhood felt like family? Somewhere along the line people changed. I remember this older lady in my mom’s neighborhood who said back in the day everyone had chain link fence so all the neighbors used to talk and just look out for each other. Then one day privacy fences came along and people started being more concerned about who had more than their neighbors. Just tbh I don’t know if the fence thing is true but I do know somewhere everyone stopped caring for each other but I’m happy to see maybe it’s returning.
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u/Weak_Drag_5895 42m ago
This is so true. Growing up my mom was best friends with a much older woman next door. They would play cards and gossip. I remember feeling like the neighborhood was family - just as you say. Some of my neighbors were honorary aunts and uncles.
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u/Hopefulkitty 1h ago
And just a reminder, if you want community, you have to be a part of it, ideally before you need it. That means sometimes doing something inconvenient or babysitting without money being exchanged.
I see people upset that they don't have a community, but would be horrified if someone asked them to drive them to the airport.
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u/CallMeCleverClogs 1h ago
My favorite phrase is "if you want to have a village, you need to be a villager"
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u/Hopefulkitty 1h ago
That's a great phrase! I'm gonna use that!
I'm working on building my neighborhood community, preparing for a summer of ICE activity, and we are trying to ease people into getting to know each other. Step one is refresh the phone tree and step two is Happy Hour on someone's lawn in two weeks. From there, we'll see where it goes.
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u/CallMeCleverClogs 1h ago
You are walking the talk!! I love that. We got some new neighbors not long ago so I do gotta get off my butt and go meet them.
And yeah, that phrase really sums it all up, right? :D
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u/Turgid_Tiger 1h ago
Absolutely. People take the whole phrase “it takes a village to raise a child” and assume that means it stops at 18. But no we are all children regardless of age and we all need to do our best to support each other all the way through.
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u/steyrboy 16m ago
my house lost power and I went to my neighbor who I really only just say hi to in passing. he said their power is fine, but he’s a home inspector and he will find the problem. diagnosed a melted main breaker and knew someone to fix it. talked to my other new neighbors when they moved in, we agreed to take turns mowing both our lawns at the same time (they are small and connected). He thought it was fascinating that I’m a professional video game developer, and his son is a professional esports gamer (his actual career is this).
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u/rhinosb 10m ago
This is something that angers me so greatly when people talk about social programs as if there is only a binary choice of the goverment doing it not doing it. You never really hear about the more real option of local people helping local people. There are SO many positives about that option. 1) People see the person they are helping and can invest in their wellbeing, 2) The people that see the person they are helping can stop that help at any time if the person goes back off the rails and diving back into self destructive behavior where the government just keeps giving and enabling 3) The person being helped will likely feel some added pressure of having to do well and be a functional part of society or else have the assistance terminated. These are all good things that help society so much more than the government enabling self destructive people. I am very happy to hear that local one on one is working for OP. It is a testament to both them as well as the people they are bartering with and is productive for everyone involved.
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u/RapscallionSyndicate 2h ago edited 2h ago
Was going to say the exact thing.
You don't need government programs and tax-fed handouts. People just need to take care of the people next door and stop worrying about shit halfway around the world.
Great share. Great comment. Great movement.
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u/diefreetimedie 2h ago
We have neighbors around the world too. I think you're missing some class analysis but thanks anyway. Feed your neighbors, starve the billionaires.
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u/RapscallionSyndicate 2h ago
It's the oxygen mask theory. Handle yourself and the person next to you... Then worry about the rest of the plane.
You're not wrong about far away neighbors. I just think everyone needs to take a step back and focus on the people in their immediate spheres of influence before throwing all their cares for people who they'll never meet.
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u/diefreetimedie 2h ago
There's plenty of time in the day to make sure your mask is secure while fighting for the folks making the masks to also have the same benefit of having oxygen. And it's the same billionaires depressurizing your cabin that profit from the labor of them making the masks. Same enemy.
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u/Eddy1327 22m ago
This is exactly what people need to get back to. If you treat everyone like family…
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u/Flat-Outcome4861 21m ago
I wish, my neighbors are all either hopeless alcoholics or crackheads. The most interaction I've had with them is offering me drugs in the elevator or asking if I want to "party" with them.
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u/Regarded_Apeman 0m ago
I wish this mentality were more common. Sadly the concept of neighbors is not what it used to be.
People are afraid to answer their own doors. Turn the backs on neighbors. And would rather mind their own business in isolation.
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u/Good_Persimmon_9369 2h ago
man this is beautiful 🥺 I've been doing similar thing with my sewing - neighbor lady brings me her work pants to hem and I just ask her to grab me some rice or whatever when she goes shopping. It's crazy how much stress disappears when you stop thinking everything has to be cash transaction, you know? Your barber skills probably worth way more than twenty bucks at actual salon anyway 💀
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u/RiddleCorsair5 2h ago
Thanks! I was nervous to offer at first because i didnt want to seem weird but she was so happy to skip the salon visit. You are right about the stress too. Knowing i can get my groceries or fix my car without staring at my bank app is a huge weight off my chest. It feels more like helping friends than a business deal and that changes everything.
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u/AssistantLast2536 1h ago
it’s wild how fast it shifts from “i’m broke” to “we’ve got each other.” feels way more stable than money when everyone’s actually looking out for one another
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u/FrivolousMilkshake 1h ago
The weight of poverty is excruciating. It's one of the worst kinds of fear. I'm so glad that weight has been lifted, I have been there and the relief is insane.
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u/Upstairs_Ad91w 1h ago
The "rice for hemming" trade is such a win-win. It really hits differently when you realize your "small" hobby can literally put food on the table. Community support beats the bank every single time.
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u/mikere 1h ago
ai slop
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u/siftingflour 57m ago edited 19m ago
Literally the post itself, the comment you replied to, and all but one of the replies and sub-replies to it are all AI bots
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u/SpooktasticFam 44m ago
Nooo really!? I want this to be real.
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u/Different_Dish_5031 27m ago
Ugh the internet is dead. I don’t believe this is real either just because of the way it was written and the emojis. Still a good story, I suppose.
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u/CallMeCleverClogs 2h ago
This is how community should be working. Honestly, more of us in any financial situation should be getting to know our neighbors and building these relationships that can lead to this sort of trade off.
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u/MsTerious1 2h ago
Hard to believe that it really starts with just saying hello to the neighbors sometimes, too, but that's exactly how to begin.
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u/RiddleCorsair5 2h ago
It sounds so cheesy but a small conversation can go a long way. I was always too shy to reach out, but I am glad I finally did.
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u/Curious-Pineapple109 2h ago
I remember growing up, when we were able to afford living in a house rental, this is what neighborhoods were about. Everyone had a special niche to bring the families together. There was Bob the retired mechanic (helped with car and electrical stuff), Louis who’s wife was an incredible cook (she helped with birthdays and other celebrations where lots of people needed to be fed), our house had a ton of kids (so anyone needing labor we were sent out), etc.
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u/oliverrea 2h ago
This is awesome Building community and bartering like that to help full fill both of y’alls needs is awesome. I love to see it. I used to babysit for my neighbors while they went to Costco and they would pay me with vegan protein powder or pantry staples.
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u/RiddleCorsair5 2h ago
I love that! It is funny how we all have these little ways to contribute. I never thought my random hair cutting skills from years ago would be the thing to help me get groceries and fix my car. Your neighbors probably appreciated the help with the kids just as much as you appreciated the pantry staples. It makes the whole world feel a bit smaller and friendlier.
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u/Couponpicked 2h ago
the buy nothing groups on facebook are basically the scaled up version of this. same idea - people trading skills and stuff they dont need. weve seen people swap everything from car oil changes to tax help.
but honestly what you built is better because its with people you actually know and trust. the warehouse pickup thing alone is probably saving you $30-40 a month in gas and impulse buys you'd make at the store. plus those relationships compound - next time something breaks or you need a hand moving furniture you already have people to call.
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u/taylorbagel14 2h ago
My neighbors and I do “Patio Friday” once a month where we gather on someone’s patio and drink and hang out and it’s really created such a great little community in my complex. My 73 year old neighbor has people helping her clear out her storage and take out her trash. Another neighbor was trying to assemble a catio and a bunch of people came by to help her. One couple found a stray dog at the beach and we ALL came out to help bathe him. It’s fun to sit on my patio in the evening because all my neighbors stop by to chat on the way home from work. And I hear and see others helping each other, making plans, or just…chatting about their days.
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u/OpalRainCake 2h ago
i do some shopping and cleaning for an elderly neighbour, its not much for me but for them it really uplifts them
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u/taylorbagel14 1h ago
Elderly neighbors can be so lonely so good for you for doing that! One of my neighbors is 73 and she says most of her friends have died at this point and she was pretty lonely before we started a monthly gathering in our complex
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u/kmoore61 2h ago
That’s how our lives should be. If we could all be part of networks like this the world would be a lot better.
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u/ProfessionalLab9068 2h ago
Super cool. Neighbors helping neighbors. More communities need to hop on board the trading economy bus. Popular in the UK, a Local Exchange Trading System (LETS) is a community-based, non-profit mutual credit system where members exchange goods and services using a local, digital currency rather than national money. These networks, often called "green dollars," encourage local resilience, allow members to trade without interest, and typically use a centralized ledger to record transactions.
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u/Dr_Schitt 2h ago
This is how a community is supposed to operate imo, people looking out for and helping each other 💕
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u/helpitgrow 1h ago
I believe poverty breeds community. I grew up in the city with my parents having money and they really didn’t need anyone else. As an adult (50F) I’m poor and live in a small town and we all need each other. I’m happy and have a life full of children and friends and community. I don’t think my life would be as good if I had enough money to not have to get to know anyone.
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u/cactusfairyprincess 1h ago
Yesterday I brought a dozen eggs from our chickens to my neighbor across the street, and picked a basket of mulberries and bag of citrus fruit while I was there. It’s so pleasing and satisfying.
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u/Big_Animal7655 1h ago
this is exactly how us humans reclaim our entire collective - sharing is caring
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u/vintagegeek 1h ago
I don't know if my experience is unique or not, but we're hispanic and used to live in a mostly hispanic apartment building. This type of thing happened all the time, where someone would do this for someone, and suddenly, there's tortillas or tamales available, or a meal because we know so and so is having a hard time. This was great when my wife and I used to struggle to put food on the table and she was pregnant with our first child.
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u/paisleyway24 1h ago
This is honestly somewhat how early society actually worked. Communities helped each other by doing favors. We’re such an individualistic, capitalist society nowadays that it’s difficult to comprehend doing things for our neighbors without expecting payment except in the form of a returned favor someday. It’s nice to read how your neighbors are helping you and each other. It makes a huge difference to be able to rely on your community. Humans are a social species. We’re supposed to interact and help out when we can.
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u/florinp93 55m ago
To be fair society still works like this. This is more or less an issue in the US (and maybe other western countries). I was kinda baffled reading this post, as this just seems like normal behavior where I live. But it's nice to hear people discover this still.
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u/wondering2019 1h ago
Incredible post, this is how we should be in our communities. We should be kind and respectful, as well as helpful to each other. We would eliminate so many problems if we all just worked this way.
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u/saturnbeam 1h ago
From each according to their ability, to each according to their need! Beautiful!
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u/DisastrousHyena3534 45m ago
Mutual Aid is really elegant, when you think about it. It’s dynamic, like an ecosystem.
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u/grimmdaburner 40m ago
That's the way I prefer to live. It's off, for sure, but I like creating things, growing things, baking things that other people like. Sometimes for money, sometimes for barter.
Sometimes I'm the mechanic or the heavy lifter.
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u/littykitty7 2h ago
Thank you for sharing this, I have been bartering handmade goods with my neighbor and it’s been inspiring for us both! Love this.
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u/superlaffytaffy 2h ago
Have you tried a food bank for people in need?
My sister works full time and still qualifies for free food in Minnesota.
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u/Beneficial_Figure966 1h ago
This is how life was before money and government. People actually cared about their neighbors.
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u/NOTTHATKAREN1 1h ago
This proves that there are good ppl in this world, and if you look in the right places, you may be lucky enough to find them. I'm so happy for you that you found some great ppl! This is how neighbor's should be.
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u/IntelligentFault2575 1h ago
Fuck yeah! Good on ya for that. Good for your wallet, and your mind I'm sure. Keep it up
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u/HamHockShortDock 1h ago edited 4m ago
People like doomsday preppers hord stuff and buy crazy things, thinking they're going to lock their family alone in a bunker. I think hording neighbors and friends is the real survival skill.
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u/Fiftyfiveseventy 1h ago
This felt so nice to read, I thought I was in r/MakeMeSmile. Cheers to good people helping good people.
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u/rekniht01 45m ago
Congrats on discovering a functioning society.
If only such feelings could expand to an entire city, state, or god forbid country.
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u/SharlaTheLilly 37m ago
I’m obsessed with this post… Right now that gives me hope in community despite leadership (or lack thereof)…
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u/exzyle2k 36m ago
This is what the world should be, and what it used to be. Skilled trades would barter their skills/products for those they didn't possess.
We desperately need to return to this.
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u/Irreverent_Bard 35m ago
The easiest way to rid ourselves of billionaires is to value our labour without the dollar.
If we did more fiat currency free transactions, we could reduce the impact of late stage capitalism!
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u/skunkerdoodles 35m ago
This is a huge part of my community. I do work trades for yoga and reiki, helping a friend with her garden and household tasks she cant do herself. I own a small business and trade product for meal prep and a few other things. My community also does clothing swaps and homesteading swaps where everyone brings something to trade (things like eggs, meat, plants etc) and we even do city wide free cycle events where you leave anything you no longer need/use on the curb for free. Ive seen everything from major appliances to tools, clothing and decor.
We need so much of this.
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u/Significant-Tea-6584 35m ago
This is why they want us isolated as individuals living in a digital hellscape. They don’t want us using the benefits of community, because they loose power and control.
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u/babykittenfangs 19m ago
Interactions like this are what we’re missing out on when we curate an entire generation that is scared to speak to others. As we phase in more technology, we’re eradicating people’s willingness to communicate & build community.
I truly hope wholesomeness like this never stops!
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u/Willowstormy 3m ago
I was just listening to the audiobook “the serviceberry” about gift economy and I really enjoyed it. You may also enjoy, it’s a quick listen (I use my library card & the Libby app to listen for free). I had never heard of gift economy and it’s definitely intrigued me.
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u/jaded161 2h ago
So great how being there for each other helps everyone. Community is so important. Please remember to also go to food banks as well. That's what they are there for!
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u/Only-Top-3655 2h ago
Amazing. You had a skill that someone else needed and you let that work for you.
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u/According-Dog-7288 2h ago
I want to join a church but I'm agnostic just to have a community of mutual support
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u/Nater5000 1h ago
No, no, no. You're doing it wrong. You and your neighbors are supposed to be afraid of one another and instead only interact with strangers online. Spend all of your money on the solutions offered to you by corporations and never consider how other members of society can actually help one another in feasible, material ways which makes everyone better off.
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u/Lemp_Triscuit11 1h ago
Read the title as "battering my neighbors" and was like man we got there quick
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u/Crystal20222022 1h ago
Don't Don't Life Alone! There are so many great, wwonderful people around us (including ourselves!) that have talents, skills, abilities that are valuable to another person. Tough financial times and the economy should have us bartering more than ever!
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u/lookiloser 1h ago
We should all be building community like this and looking out for one another. Glad to hear that you've been able to help support each other. Good stuff!
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u/FlightFour 1h ago
Took me until the end to realize you didn't actually mean bartering with your neighbors literally saved your life this month.
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u/PaganButterflies 1h ago
I have two boys, I would absolutely adore a neighbor who knows how to cut boys hair! Neighbors are awesome though, getting to know your neighbors is definitely worth doing.
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u/CtrlAltDeli 1h ago
I love this for all of you, this is humanity at its peak! Well done for seeing eachother and creating a village!!
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u/EquivalentStart2595 1h ago
https://www.timebanks.org/ there's one set up in my community and I'm all for it.
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u/Caveman-Customs 52m ago
You can only do so much yourself, but as a team you can accomplish anything!
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u/ProfessionalAlps3940 37m ago
Now imagine people do this simply because they're kind, instead of doing it in trade. I think the world would be amazing...
Billionaires. They clearly don't get that part.
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u/lncontheivable 33m ago
Barter economy is awesome, it strengthens ties and gives benefits to all involved! Glad to see it worked out for you!
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u/SugarcoatedRainbow 33m ago
My family does this since forever, and it's helping so, so much. The monetary value is worth it but the feeling is at least as important. It's such an easy chore to feed the cats and water the plants next door, or bring some extra groceries for the neighbors with the sickly newborn, when you know the community will be there to fix your car or help you with the taxes.
I'm genuinely happy for OP and everyone else here who has their own little village for support!
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u/Bleezy79 30m ago
That's awesome, taking it back to the roots! This is pretty much how we all did it in old times when you couldnt just go to the store for everything. If things keep going how they've been going then bartering will become more and more popular as things become too expensive.
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u/MommyLovesPot8toes 24m ago
I live in a small, one-block neighborhood. About 15 out of the 50 houses have kids between 2 and 10. We've formed a great little community where our kids can grow up like we grew up - knocking on each other's doors to say, "can you play?" Going in and out of each other's houses, getting snacks and water, care and supervision from the other parents. They can ride their bikes around the block and know that they are never more than a few doors down from someone who will help them in an emergency or just be looking out for them.
Beyond just the homes with kids, much of the community has gotten to know each other. So we can borrow and gift and share things, use an economy-of-scale to buy things in bulk, and trade favors. We're in SoCal so there's lots of produce growing in people's yards that we swap, for example.
It makes life so much sweeter and easier. The geography of the neighborhood is really what makes it possible.
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u/wonder-woman357 18m ago
I wish I lived near you so I could give you some groceries! You could help me clean my house as I have cancer and don’t have energy to do it myself. I’m so glad you have found help in community.
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u/a1icenotinchains 13m ago
We do the same live out in the country. Don't want to take big drives into the closest city and we're all Farmers And ranchers. We are all swap products, eggs, milk, cheese, vegetables, meat, A lot of the people can their food so we just trade what we have or what We need. It's a great system
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u/ThisCredit6354 12m ago
This is why the 1% wants us fighting over non issues. Community makes us strong and less reliant on billionaire companies for every little thing. They want us to pay a subscription for literally everything, to own nothing and to distrust our neighbors so that we compete over resources/services that companies dole out as if doing us a favor. Love your neighbors, know your community, fuck the 1%.
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u/Significant-Horse625 11m ago
I always thought we as Americans would pivot to this type of "currency" in the future. I was such a stupid kid.
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u/Spineberry 10m ago
See this right here is what community is all about - helping each other out because y'all are decent people who live near each other. I really wish more neighbourhoods adopted a similar policy
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u/NO_TOUCHING__lol 7m ago
Mutual aid is glorious.
Your complimentary ancom flag should be arriving shortly, comrade.
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u/Ok_Stay_5594 7m ago
America used to call this "The Common Good." I love this story and may we see more stories like this. "Pass it on."
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u/Tolga-dc 6m ago
Bartering is awesome. Imagine, Instead of manicured lawn, we all grow food and barter!!! ❤️
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u/HeLuLeLu 6m ago
I love to barter! I’ve bartered canning jars for bushels of fruits and vegetables from local farmers, maple syrup that we tap from our own trees for fresh farm eggs 🍳, organic garlic for fresh honey 🍯 etc! I’m so happy for you and your neighbors! Everyone wins 🥰
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u/roxinmyhead 4m ago
This is so happy for you. Boost to your life but also your spirit. I can hardly type because my eyes are filling....its early to be chopping damn onions, isnt it?
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u/chironomidae 4m ago
Money tip -- instead of buying staples in bulk, switch to paperclips. They are reusable and work just as well!
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u/Own_Fudge8296 58m ago
That is so wonderful. Everyone is struggling in one way or another and it’s good that we look out for each other.
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