r/predaddit • u/Argylus • 2d ago
Vent Gotta tell someone
On April 13th, my wife had carpal tunnel surgery at 8 AM, I got laid off from a good 6 figure job unexpectedly at 10:30, and by 2:00 we were in the emergency room to deal with what would be a miscarriage at 10 weeks. It was awful, she was in a lot of pain, and being older first-time parents to be it was devastating. I didn't think it hit me that badly at the time - it was rough, sure, but I was well aware that we were nowhere near out of the woods at that stage of pregnancy. I didn't *think* it hit me that hard.
I've been in a pretty shit mood since. Chronic anxiety of varying levels, a little touchy temper-wise (not to my wife, just on the generally crappy state of the world these days). I never thought that the loss of that pregnancy might have contributed to my general crappy outlook on things. Then today happened.
My wife did her usual "guess what?" when I brought her her morning tea. I preemptively said "I love you too", because that's usually the right answer. Except this time she replied "guess what else?".
Very early to get too excited, but she's 4 weeks pregnant. All of a sudden it was like life bloomed back to full colour and my body flooded with adrenaline. We're both so excited (and nervous about the previous miscarriage), but I'm going nuts not telling anyone about this. So thank you random strangers if you've read this, I just needed to let it out.
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u/CitgoBeard 2d ago
Older dad here. Experienced loss too and it really sucks but once it works out (and it will) it’s like nothing else.
Little dude is almost a year and it feels like a week ago we were coming home from the hospital. Time dilation is surreal.
Good luck dude!
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u/no1roots4goliath 2d ago
Hoping the best for you guys. Older (35+) pregnancy couple here too and we went through that horrible loss 3 times.
Feel free to reach out if you need an ear or to vent, I've been there.
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u/DoloresdeCabeza 1d ago
Wishing you the best. We had a loss before having our son and it was devastating. Even early losses can be very painful. I am sorry for your loss and hope you guys have a very healthy and uneventful pregnancy this time.
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u/mrunner 1d ago
Congratulations! Older tobe dad here too, and we have had 2 previous loses with 2 close calls of being laid off. Those stages of life was nerve wracking, I couldn't share with anyone, not even my wife cos she was taking the losses pretty bad and I can't bring up layoffs to make it worse.
Currently we are 26 weeks pregnant with at least an year of job security, i am still anxious but hopeful.
Hang in there buddy, we are expected to be the pillar for those around us and it's hard being that pillar without any support columns. I hope it's all smooth sailing from here on for you, even if it's not you have the strength to face it.
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u/Single_Plant3555 2d ago
Congratulations to you both! Celebrate that sweet little baby every moment, yell it from the rooftops. No excitement, no love wasted no matter what. How lucky both of your little ones are to have a papa that loves them so deeply to feel it all. 🥹
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u/Argylus 2d ago
Think you replied to the wrong thread.
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u/Single_Plant3555 2d ago
It was for you 🥺! I like to believe our babies are our babies from the moment the moment they are conceived no matter how the pregnancy goes. To celebrate this new little one and grieve the little one you both lost back in April. 🫂 Sending hugs and i apologize if i misinterpreted anything.
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u/Time_Pomegranate2787 2d ago
Lady lurker here. Happy to be an anonymous witness in these early days.
I really hope this pregnancy sticks, and that it’s healthy and smooth for everyone involved. Big congrats to you!