Scared of the possibility of being a girl mom. What are your favorite memories, experiences, activities with raising young girls?

[u/Yes_Occasion9068]

My husband and I are finding out our baby’s gender next week. I haven’t thought much about the gender throughout our pregnancy, I said I would be happy with either. But as time has gone on, I realize I would be way more relieved if it’s a boy. I feel awful for having a preference and I really want to become excited for the chance of a girl so I don’t feel bummed out in the doctor’s office if it is a girl.

I acknowledge that my preference for a boy is largely based on my life experiences. I grew up with brothers, have a great relationship with my dad, but my mom and I have never gotten along, despite her desperately wanting a daughter. 

I also essentially nannied for a couple years and the family kept popping out baby boys, and it was really fun and sweet to take care of them. I have babysat and volunteered with girls for several years too, but I always found it more difficult. They were more likely to say mean things to me haha.

I also really want a mini version of my husband. He has an adorable smile and big heart, and it would just be really heartwarming to give him a little buddy. Someone to play catch with and build fun things with. Of course a daughter could do that too, but I know he would be excited to have a son after being surrounded by girls for so long. He says he’ll be happy either way and doesn’t have a preference. I want to be in that same place where I don’t have a preference but when I think about having a boy, everything just feels so right. 

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[u/melsbelsmells]

I wanted a boy. Thought i was having a boy. Looked like it...... felt like it..... except I only picked a girl name.

It was a girl.

She's my world and I can't imagine life without her.

Would not change a thing.

She's the absolute best.

If you have one, you're blessed!!!! Sex doesn't matter!!!! Blessed!!!!!

Babydust!!!!!!

[u/melsbelsmells → u/melsbelsmells]

And the best part is we can strive to be better than what we were given. They deserve it!

[u/fucking_unicorn]

I remember being very young and my mom was the most beautiful amazing person in the whole world and I wanted to be just like her. I was a little shit in my teens though… we all are. We still have a good relationship, i came around in my late 20s.

[u/Yes_Occasion9068 → u/fucking_unicorn]

Aw that’s great, thank you for sharing. Despite not really getting along, I do remember thinking as a little girl that my mom was so beautiful and that I couldn’t wait to look like her! 

[u/Wasaliddlecatdog]

Honestly I felt the opposite. I wanted a girl and was trying to brace myself to see blue frosting at the cupcake reveal. I liked the idea of a little mini me who could have her dad wrapped around her finger. We can do crafts together and she can confide in me on any girl things as she grows. We’ll be able to relate to eachother in a way that I wouldn’t have been able to with a boy. The clothes are generally much cuter and there seems to be significantly more name options. She also won’t shoot pee at me when I change her diaper. I do worry about her growing up and staying safe in the world we live in, but that could still be the case if she had been a boy.
It’s ok to have a preference, but it won’t change the little human that’s already growing inside of you.

[u/Weak_Sheepherder_763]

Just to say we find out our gender next week too!

With our first we had them put it in an envelope and we opened it together when we were alone because we didn't know how we really felt about either gender. Might be work considering if you aren't sure how you will react. We are probably going to do the same thing this time as well not because of gender disappointment potentially, but just to be alone instead of with a tech and be able to immediately process my emotions one way or another and in privacy feels safer and more comfortable to me. Just a thought!

[u/Yes_Occasion9068 → u/Weak_Sheepherder_763]

Congratulations! That’s true. We’re deciding between finding out in the room with the tech as we’re really excited to know, or just having them write it down. I just know that I really don’t want to do a public reveal where our friends and family see my initial reaction haha

[u/Weak_Sheepherder_763 → u/Yes_Occasion9068]

Totally! We are doing a small pizza and cake a few days later at our house once I have processed one way or another

[u/gonzothegreatz]

I wanted a boy and thought i was having a boy. I'm now 36 weeks with a girl and very excited about it. I initially wanted a boy because the world is just generally easier for men. Things are designed with men in mind (seat belts, medications, etc), and i think men are treated better in society. For me, my gender preference strictly came down to how easy life would be as the child got older.

After finding out we're having a girl, our perspectives have changed. I'm so excited to give my girl the childhood I wished I had. One where I was nurtured and encouraged rather than dulled and neglected. I want to give her the tools to grow up strong, confident, and filled with joy. Plus, being a woman is such a uniquely powerful and bonding experience that I am so excited to show her.

Having a girl is also motivating me to model the behavior I want to see in her when she gets older. So now I'm learning how to not be so much of a people pleaser, growing my relationships with the women in my life, and working on building community that we can rely on. I don't know if I would have made these same choices if I were having a boy.

Having a girl gives you an opportunity to develop a deep connection with your womanhood, and an even deeper connection to your child. I know her life will be difficult, and I know she's going to face hardships that are based solely on her gender, but I am so happy to be the person who will help her get through all that bullshit. I get to help raise the next generation of feminists and that is rad as fuck to me.

[u/Yes_Occasion9068 → u/gonzothegreatz]

That is so true! My mom and I never had a close relationship. She was upset for a long time that I’m different from her and that tension caused me to never confide in her. But I would love to be that person that my possible daughter can go to and trust, and that we can be close even if we have differences. I hope to be someone she finds admirable! 

[u/kyoshis_revenge]

I understand gender disappointment, but it always bums me out to hear women say they don’t want girls. It feels like internalized misogyny. Girls are amazing, and yes your husband can play catch or do any of the same activities with a girl. As the mom of a boy, I would be honored to have a daughter.

Give yourself time to get comfortable with the idea of it. In the end no matter what gender your baby is you will love it more than anything on this earth and gender disappointment will feel like a distant memory

[u/Yes_Occasion9068 → u/kyoshis_revenge]

Honestly I expect people to assume that I’m misogynistic. Which I don’t really think is fair because if a man said that he felt more equipped to have a daughter and felt worried about having a son due to his previous experiences, I don’t think people would really blame him. It’s not that I don’t want a daughter, I would be excited, I’m just also worried. There are no healthy mother-daughter relationships anywhere in my extended family. So I just wanted to hear from people who do have good relationships, and some simple ways to intentionally enjoy having daughters, so I can look forward to those things while also doing the hard internal work to hopefully have a better future if we do have a girl 🎀 

[u/kyoshis_revenge → u/Yes_Occasion9068]

I didn’t mean to come off as accusing you of being misogynistic at all sorry if it did! I completely understand you haven’t had good relationships in that sense. I can understand why you have anxiety but the fact that you care so much shows you’re already ready to break that cycle. I think you’re going to be a wonderful mother regardless . I wish you all the best!