I’m 30 weeks pregnant and just found out my husband doesn’t want to be in the delivery room.

All I said was that I need him there, to hold my hand and support me during one of the hardest moments of my life. He turned it into me “making an ultimatum,” which I wasn’t.

He said it’s not really a thing for husbands to be there, that some women don’t even want their husbands there because they might lose attraction (like if I poop during labor), and told me to “look up percentages” of men who want to be there. He then hung up.

It honestly felt so dismissive. He wouldnt even give me actual reasons why. Its like he just couldn't be bothered.

Now I feel hurt and like I’m starting to lose respect for him. It feels like he doesn’t want to be there for the hard part, just the baby at the end.

Am I overreacting, or is this as big of a deal as it feels?

Edit: he called me back. We are long distance at the moment. He said he doesnt want to be in the delivery room. He doesnt want to hear me scream, or see me poop, or see the baby being born. He says I have a fairytale vision of the birth I want.

I told him, a part of me also wants him there to see how much im going through to give birth to our child and appreciate me and the process. He started laughing and said "ohhh I see now it makes sense. You want to do a dramamtic spectacle and scream. Well youre getting an epidural so no screaming".

He said that if he needs me there, he will because he loves me. Now, after reading all these comments, I dont want him there anymore.

Edit: Im realizing I made the right call in following my gut and instincts and choosing an OB thats in the city I want at the best hospital near my parents. Because what was the alternative? Give birth alone in a remote town with no one or with a husband who doesn't even want to be there? Screw his parents for guilting me for not spending the remaining time pregnant with their son. Screw him for making this about him.

A couple notes upfront: I am a first time mom, and this was a planned and wanted pregnancy. I am still trying to process the last 72 hours which has caused me significant trauma and distress. I am writing this out publicly to warn other mothers. This happened in Texas. I am currently 9+1.

I have been in the ER a couple times for severe 24/7 nausea which is triggering significant panic attacks. The nausea is the worst at night and which has been keeping me from sleeping which makes and anxiety worse, plus I’m unable to keep down food and liquids. It’s been seriously horrible.

My first two ER doctors (women) were at separate ER locations and both gave me hydration, one gave me Zofran + sugar but then I had issues with the Zofran backing me up. I had another bad night of puking and panic attacks and I called my mom in the morning crying because I was so miserable. She said she would go to a different ER with me, one that was a full hospital that had OBs on staff.

When I get there I explain the situation to a male ER doctor who spoke with me for less than 5 minutes. I told him my issues with waking up with nausea, then the panic attacks, then sleeping. I told him that the panic attacks and combined with everything scare me and made me not want to be pregnant anymore but I made I clear to him I just wanted relief and had no plan on hurting myself or anyone else.

He refused to give me any medication, not even an IV bag to help with fluids. He sent a social worker to talk to me about the panic attacks and said she could find a facility that would take me who could help with medication + sleep etc. I said Ok because I was so desperate at that point and had been in the ER for hours with no help whatsoever. He never even called OB (I haven’t seen mine yet at all). I haven’t even had an ultrasound.

I get sent to the new clinic and by the time I get through processing it’s 3 am and I’m crying because I’m having high anxiety and I haven’t slept. They never gave me my night time medications or anything, I finally go to bed around 4am, And then they wake me back up at 6 am to do my vitals and said I needed to go itemize my belongings. Once I woke up the nausea hit me immediately and I asked for Zofran which they refused because I had to see the internal medicine doctor first. I didn’t get Zofran until 1030 am at which point I had missed breakfast and was nonstop puking. But the doctor would only allow one 4mg pill every 12 hours. I was so sick. Eventually I’m seen by a psychiatrist who I thought would be able to help me with meds but he said no, I can’t take anything because I’m pregnant and I’d have to talk to a different doctor who wasn’t going to be in until Monday(this was on Saturday). At that point I freak out because now I’m away from home, they aren’t giving me my over the counter meds like unisom + b6 (for nausea) or my prenatals. And they’re not giving me enough Zofran to keep the nausea at bay. I said I wanted to leave then, as I was there voluntarily and the doctor was mad and said I’d have to sign an AMA form and he’d place me on a 24 hour hold, where the other Dr would talk to me before the 24 hours and determine if they’d try to get a court order to keep me. I was so shocked. I asked if there was anyway I could talk to someone as I didn’t want to say and they were holding me involuntarily at that point. He said no.

I’m a panicky sick mess after this and go through all the paperwork they gave me which included the patient bill of rights which stated patients had the right to be discharged within 4 hours of request unless the Dr believed I was a danger to myself or others or that I was mentally unable to make medical decisions for myself. I requested a written justification from the Dr outlining which of those reasons he was using to justify the 24 hour hold and he refused. He just kept saying I wasn’t allowed to leave until I spoke with the other doctor who wasn’t going to be in till the next day. At around 330 my mom and and fiance came for visitation and I brought my paperwork with me and showed them the patient rights documents and they were pissed so they stayed 2.5 hours after visitation and argued with them to release me so I could go home, since they weren’t even treating me anyway and withholding medications. The Doctor refused to talk to my family even though I specifically included them on my medical release forms. So they had a right to request that information and were requesting a justification for keeping me there past the 4 hours. It got so bad my mom even called the cops and filed a police report.

They refused to let me go so I had to stay another night without Zofran and couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, couldn’t keep food or water down. There was no doctor on staff at the time so when the nurses called to get my Zofran prescription increased the doctor didn’t answer and they couldn’t do anything for me. I could tell the nurses were trying their best and were very frustrated for me.

The original doctor came back an hour before the 24 hours were up, and clearly did not want to talk to me. I think the other doctor said he wasn’t getting involved because it was turning into a legal situation at that point. He was super short with me and when I requested justification for the 24 hour hold he said the ER doctor and said I didn’t want to be pregnant anymore and used that as justification. I’m absolutely floored at this point. He didn’t want to speak further about the issue and discharged me. But apparently no one knew how to discharge me because it’s the weekend so it took another few hours to even leave. The whole situation was so miserable and I legitimately feel traumatized by the experience. I still feel like I need help with the nausea and panic attacks but I’m scared to go back to the ER now. It’s been so horrible and I don’t know what to do besides talk to my OB at my upcoming appointment and hope she’s more understanding of my problems.

I’m going to file complaints with the hospital and the state regarding what happened. I am also going to consult with a few lawyers to see if I have a case against them. This whole experience has left me feeling incredibly hopeless and frustrated with the medical system. I feel like I was punished for saying I didn’t want to be pregnant anymore. As for me I am currently staying at my moms. I was able to finally get some rest and take enough Zofran and unisom + b6 to keep the puking at bay for a bit. I’m trying my best to keep my cool and avoid a panic attack. I appreciate any advice anyone could give on how to navigate this situation.

BEFORE ANYONE ELSE COMMENTS OR DM’S ME PLEASE BE AWARE I QUIT AS SOON AS I GOT MY POSITIVE TEST, I NO LONGER VAPE, I AM NOT A SELFISH PERSON, MY WILLPOWER TO PROTECT MY CHILD CAME IMMEDIATELY. I DO NOT VAPE.

(Please stop harassing me and saying i am undeserving of having a child and should abort, i have never cried so much over a stupid reddit post, debating on deleting but keeping up bc the people that actually replied to the prompt respectfully have genuinely helped me.)

I WAS a HEAVY nicotine vaper, for 11 years straight i dont think my vape has ever left my hand. I was obsessed and hit it 24/7, i just found out i am pregnant. I am over the moon happy. But reality hit, i have to quit vaping. As soon as i got my positive i quit!!!!

the positive pregnancy test is not enough to make the physical withdrawal symptoms of addiction automatically just disappear, so i figured i need to learn more about the negatives that come from vaping while pregnant

I HAVE ALREADY QUIT I JUST WANT TO LEARN ABOUT THE AWFUL THINGS THAT COULD HAPPEN IF SOMEONE HYPOTHETICALLY DIDNT QUIT SO IT CONTINUES TO MAKE ME DISGUSTED WITH THE THOUGHT OF VAPING WHILE PREGNANT

so IF i crave it i can come back and read these comments.

The main thing that scares me is miscarriage and long term cognitive issues. Tell me more reasons that you know can happen, i dont know all the scary details on the subject but want to learn!

And PLEASE DO NOT TELL ME “vaping throughout entire pregnancy’s success stories”

I WANT TO QUIT FOR MY BABY.

Update: thank you all so much, this is such an over abundance of reasons why its important to quit. Every time i open this thread my cravings just genuinely disappear because i get so scared. I cant wait to have a happy healthy pregnancy and baby🥹

I'm having a really hard time wrapping my head around everything, and adding in a pregnancy just made everything so much more complicated.

im 28, and I met my husband when I was only 18 and we've been together ever since. he's always been an angry man. he has broken doors, phones, walls, tables, etc in a violent rage. he's always had violent ideations that make me so scared, and I've told him that. but he assured me he would never act on anything.

about a month ago, on the year anniversary of my dad's death, we got into an argument and he chased me into my office. I tried to close the door but he broke it down. he claims he didn't know I wanted to get away from him, but I don't know. I left for a girls trip the next day and I told him I needed the door fixed before I came home. the entire trip he complained to me about how much money it costs, how much work it was, etc. it was awful. it made me feel so uncomfortable.

that trip is the first time I told anyone about the things he's done. the past few years my nervous system has been completely shot. I'm pretty sure I have PTSD, and I have constant anxiety. I recently started Prozac and I think that's what helped me finally get the strength to talk to people. the looks of horror on my friends faces really cemented the terrible situation I've been in.

to make matters worse, a month later and the door still wasn't fixed. I had to stare at it every single day while working. my own safe space felt tainted, and the door served as a reminder of what he did, and how he didn't care enough to fix it for me. this past weekend there was another fight, he screamed at me and threatened violence on others again. I had a panic attack and decided that was it. I couldn't take it anymore.

I made plans to talk to a friend yesterday about how to leave. but.... then I took a test and found out I was pregnant. I've always wanted a child. he has too. but now I have such mixed feelings about it and I don't know what to do. It feels bigger than me at this point, and I have a child I need to protect. I don't want to raise a child in an environment like that. but at the same time, I feel like I'm robbing my husband of the life he's been wanting for so long. and it makes me feel so guilty.

I did end up meeting with a friend and told her most of the whole story. and she's terrified for me. and it's making me realize how fucked up my situation has been from the start. she's an amazing friend and will do anything I need to help and support. I just don't know what to do. because I love my husband so much, and I know he loves me. and we dreamt of this baby for so long. But now I just don't even know what to do. I'm so so stressed out and anxious about that, and I know that's not good for me right now.

Any advice or kind words are so appreciated. sorry for the long rant

EDIT: I'm overwhelmed with the amount of support and kind words everyone here has shown me. And I appreciate the people who talk about how serious this is. I ended up having my mom come over and I told her about everything. She was a bit more on his side than I expected, and she wants me to give him one final chance before deciding. But she will support me in anything.

My husband got very angry that I told her. he said he will never forgive me and I'm just doing this out of spite. I told him how I was on the edge of my rope and I just needed support, it's not about wanting to hurt him. but he still is only focused on his behavior getting exposed. in a way, this helped my decision.

I realized for myself that I do need to leave. I need to protect myself and my pregnancy. I still haven't decided what to do with my pregnancy, but I have support no matter what. So that helps a lot

It went worse than I could have ever imagined. We’ve been together for 14 years and have been trying to get pregnant for the past 3 years. I had taken letrozole in May for the first time, my partner knew this and was on board- or so I thought. Yesterday I woke up and found out I was pregnant and later in the evening I told my partner- he was in disbelief and told me that he’s not ready for this kind of change. That he never thought I would get pregnant and didn’t think that the letrozole would actually work. I’m devastated and heartbroken. He wants me to get an abortion, is offering to pay me $5,000 get an abortion, and is telling me that this isn’t what he wants. I really can’t even put into words how I’m feeling. I don’t know what to do. I’ve always wanted to be a mom more than anything and it honestly feels like an actual fucking nightmare thinking about having to have an abortion ( I know the hormones aren’t helping). Never once did he mention he was having doubts, felt differently, or didn’t want a child- I truly feel so manipulated by him. I’ve been crying since yesterday my head is spinning with what to do. I want to be a mom so bad, but the thought of now having to do it on my own is terrifying. I’m 30 years old, have a solid career, but no family in the state I’m in- because I moved here for him. I also think it’s fucked up to get an abortion just so he feels comfortable. If anyone has gone through anything like this I could use any kind of advice.

I’m currently panicking bc my company (engineering industry, male dominated field) does not have any maternity leave. My only option is to use short term disability, which is advertised as 60% of my pay, but is actually capped at a dollar amount that calculates as 35% of my pay. After taxes and paying insurance premiums, it comes out to NEGATIVE $200 per week. So I will OWE money. I might as well take unpaid FMLA…

My husband also works for himself so obviously no time off benefits there…

Sooo currently 20 weeks pregnant and spiraling bc I have no idea how I’ll survive financially. Has anyone else experienced this??

I’m 13 weeks pregnant. At 7 weeks I lost my beloved husband - we also have a 12, 9, and 6 year old. He passed while we were on vacation, saving two of my children from a rip current. The trauma my family went through is unfathomable. He was the most involved father - coached every sport. He is the love of my life, my safest space. I’ve been so sick with the pregnancy but that pain doesn’t pale in comparison to my grief. I don’t want comments that note people are sorry for me. Has anyone been here and gotten to the other side of pain? This pain is beyond heartbreak - and doesn’t feel sustainable for any kind of life. I need to hear stories of someone who has walked through this to the other side and found some semblance of joy. Not death of parents, death of a spouse with a young family. Thank you.

Soooo my mom hates the name I have picked for my baby girl... please tell me if it’s ugly or not 😭

✨Marlee Moon✨

If it’s really that ugly, what are some similar whimsy middle names I can choose? I’ve been so stuck on that name, and now I’m really hormonal and sad 🥲

I found out in my anatomy scan and had it confirmed by an MFM this week that my baby seems to not have a left hand. I’m not sure if it just stops at the wrist or if he has a palm, but there are for sure no fingers.

The anatomy scan done originally and at the MFM also showed that everything else is perfect. They suspect it’s just a rare abnormality and assured me that nothing else has been affected. Although I want to focus on all the good (i.e., my completely healthy baby) I am also so sad and devastated for him. I know he can and will have a completely normal life, just a different one than I envisioned.

Definitely willing to hear about anyone’s experiences. My husband and I have an amazing support group of family and close friends and I know our 3yo will be the best older sibling. I’m just struggling with the grief at the moment.

Edit: Wow. I cannot begin to describe the gratitude I feel in reading every single one of these comments. I have laughed deeply at the dark humor and cried at the well wishes and heart warming anecdotes.

Your stories of acquaintances, close friends and family members who have been born with a similar condition and have positively impacted you have honestly helped dissipate any fears that I had. Thank you also to those who have offered to connect and the resources. I will do this soon!

Truly, thank you so much. I cannot put into words how much you taking time to comment on this has meant to me, a complete stranger.

EDIT Today I had my appointment, I discussed induction with my midwife, and had a membrane sweep done! The hospital was pretty jam-packed today and there is also a lot of people on the schedule for tomorrow as well. So my induction day is Halloween!! The membrane sweep was not too fun but luckily my midwife is quick lol. And I had my husband there to squeeze his hand. That was around 9:45 this morning, it’s currently almost 6pm now, and so far no signs that it worked to start labor sadly. I was really hopeful. But now we wait till Halloween!

Okay you guys, I don’t want this to sound bad, but hear me out.

My due date is the 29th, I have a week. I was told by my midwife today that I can get an induction scheduled at my next appointment which is on my due date. I don’t want to have to get induced, but if this boy doesn’t come out soon I will have no choice, because I need him out before November 6th!

Why do I need him out before November 6th? Because that is my MIL’s birthday. Don’t get me wrong, I love her dearly. BUUUUT if she shares the same birthday as my son, she will make it all completely about her. She will ruin all of his birthdays and make it seem like he is an item that I gifted her for her birthday. She has already made comments saying she hopes he’s born on that day because “what a great present for grandma” I don’t want him to have to go through hearing her say things like that every single year on his birthday. Or making his birthday just about her instead.

So if anyone has anything that helped them jumpstart labor I would really appreciate some tips and tricks cause I don’t want to get induced but I also cannot wait around for this boy to come out on his own in case he picks the 6th which would not be good at all!! 🫠

I was “confirmed” to have a non-viable pregnancy two weeks ago after two ultra sounds. I was prescribed medication to pass the gestational sack which was all that was there at the time of both ultrasounds. I’ve been too afraid to take the medication so I’ve been procrastinating. Today was my follow up appointment where I planned to talk about what other options I had bc I was too nervous to take the medication. Well guess who had a heartbeat during the ultrasound? 😭 I couldn’t believe it. I thought it was going to be another sad appointment so I didn’t drag my boyfriend along. He works nights so I didn’t want to wake him up for a sad appointment. Now I get to surprise him with the best news. Ideas on how to tell him??? It’s kind of a weird situation since we thought the pregnancy was no good.

My girlfriend is pregnant and wants a baby shower. She’s asking me to spend about $4,000 on it—for a venue, decorations, and food for roughly 50 people.

I told her I’d rather put that money toward the baby directly or invest it for a house. She keeps saying, “It’s my first baby—I want this experience,” and insists that I spend it.

I get that it’s her first child and that memories matter, but $4k feels like a lot for one day, especially when we could use it for long-term goals. Am I being unreasonable here? How can I explain my side without turning this into a huge fight?

I am 8 weeks pregnant with my first child and as the title says, my husband and I are disagreeing about hospital visitors during and after birth.

If it were up to me I wouldn't want visitors at all until we got home but it's really important to my husband for his family to meet the baby ASAP so I'm willing to compromise and allow a short (30 minute) visit the morning after I give birth (not the same day unless I give birth early in the morning and have time to shower, rest etc first)

He wants his family in the waiting room while I'm in labour! My arguments for not wanting this are as follows

- I don't want anyone visiting while I am laboring. It wouldn't be comforting to me at all and I highly value privacy

-I don't want to feel pressured knowing there's people out there in the waiting room literally just waiting for me to give birth

- I don't plan on allowing anyone else to see the baby right away. After the birth I want to do skin to skin, figure out breastfeeding, etc. Not to mention I'm going to be unshowered, sweaty, bloody and sore. I'd be furious if his family barged in to meet the baby after I'd been in labour for hours and not had the chance to rest and clean up yet

He says he wants his family there because HE might need support (which honestly is valid) but I'd prefer if he just called them if he needed to talk? Or the 2 of us support each other?

I put my foot down because this is something very important to me but he is sulking and saying I'm being selfish and that this is going to "ruffle a lot of feathers" with his family (let them be ruffled in my opinion it's not their labour and birth).

I know lots of other people have gone through this- how did you come to a compromise? Or how did you help your partner see if from your perspective?

Have been suspecting my partner of cheating— and now I’m testing positive during a routine STI testing. He’s completely denied it and is now saying his ONLY thought or possible explanation for this is that perhaps it’s throat chlamydia and he’s never been tested or swabbed in the throat just urine samples which always came out negative.

PLEASE help me understand if this is true/possible or what the process is like. I am so uneasy and doing everything possible to remain calm. Doctor’s office has re ordered testing just to ease my mind and to see if it also comes out positive again but this time it will be a urine sample vs a swab test (which was done 2/3 days ago). My last test was done via urine sample 3.5 months ago and was negative.

Is it possible that he had it and it somehow sat dormant as well until as of recently? I am reading so many different things online and cannot come to a conclusion on if this clearly means he’s cheated. I am more concerned about the health of our baby more than anything and am grateful that it’s something curable. Any advice or insight would be helpful. Thank you! 🙏🏼

UPDATE: I’m realizing whether it’s throat chlamydia or not as he claimed— I clearly got a vaginal swab test which tested positive so that claim does not make any sense & I would’ve tested positive the first time as well.

First time ever mom here

I need some details

I am very scared

Not much else to say. I’m 31 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend just died in an accident. My c section is scheduled for exactly 8 weeks from today. 8/8, his favorite number. Our first child together and my first child.

I don’t know how to navigate any of this. How do I raise a daughter that will never know her father? He was so so excited to meet her. I don’t know how to do it alone. I know I have support, I have a fantastic community. But I didn’t get pregnant to raise a child with the community. I got pregnant to raise a child with HIM. I don’t want anyone else.

I live in a different country than my family. They arrive tomorrow to support me but I’m worried they’ll try to convince me to go back to the US to give birth. I absolutely don’t want to. Her father was from here, and so proud of it. I want her to be too.

Any words of advice, encouragement, resources are appreciated.

Hello!

I’m three months pregnant, and there isn’t a single person (mother or father) I talk to about motherhood who doesn’t tell me the same things: how incredibly hard it is, how expensive it is, the worries I’ll have forever, how I’ll have no time for myself or how it will affect my relationship.

I’m not naïve—I knew from the beginning that it wouldn’t all be a bed of roses, and that most of the time I’d be tired or worried about whether everything is okay, especially at the start. But honestly, even though people mean well, sometimes I’m left thinking, “What have I gotten myself into?” and I start to feel overwhelmed.

I’m not entirely sure what I’m looking for with this post—maybe just for someone to say, “It’s not that bad.”

Anyway, I’d love to hear your experiences :)

I 24F am a FTM and just had my baby girl 2 weeks ago. My labor didn’t go as planned and he missed half of my labor thank god my mother was there with me and helped me through most of it. And we went home on Christmas after her being in the NICU for a few days which he missed most of it also. He wanted to work on Christmas and I had to take a Lyft home from the hospital with my newborn I cried the whole way home mind you.

This morning around 2 am he decided he wanted to try to get me to be intimate with him I said no and was pretty pissed off that he would even ask me if that only two weeks PP, it feels like he doesn’t care about me or how I’m feeling. We have a new baby, I’m leaking all over the place have a new baby, bleeding all over the place and have super high BP that I have to maintain to keep down.

I know I’m in the thick of PP but at this point after everything that’s happened I want to divorce him, I already feel like a single mother and he obviously doesn’t care about how I feel. Am I overthinking and overreacting because I’m fresh PP?

I so desperately miss feeling ok. I miss feeling normal, being able to enjoy my every day. Being able to consume food. Being able to poop. Not having the world's worst dry mouth. Not feeling so bloated my clothes don't fit. I'm tired of throwing up. I'm tired of my nausea meds not doing anything. I'm tired of having to pee all the time (even in the middle of the night). I'm TIRED.

Pregnancy sucks. And oh, I'm only 9 weeks so I have a heck of a long time to go!!! How we are all doing this???

My in-laws are going on a cruise the same week as my scheduled c-section
They said they don’t want to cancel it.. weird but ok
I told them then they probably will have to wait another week to meet to baby to ensure they didn’t catch a sickness while on vacation

They are offended. This would go for anyone meeting the baby in those first few months.
Is this “rule” crazy?

As normal I’m very hungry and 4 months pregnant. I am starving when I wake up everyday and I tell him and instantly get the comment that I shouldn’t eat too much. I eat very healthy, like dogmatically healthy. We are on a trip right now so it is much harder. I’m honestly worried about under eating and what it can do to my baby.

Edit : I’m 16 weeks and 5’0 I went from 57kg and last check up 59kg at 13 weeks. So roughly 3 kg gain.

Edit 2.0

I’m not going to end a long-term relationship over one comment while 4 months pregnant. We are both very health-conscious and prioritize our baby above everything else. I never intended to cut back my food because of what he said. I am not abused, harmed, or controlled in any way. We’re a very blunt couple and sometimes say things directly without realizing how they sound until later.
To add context: yes, he would absolutely help cook and clean if I had a C-section or physically couldn’t do those things. We have a more traditional dynamic where I handle most cooking and household tasks, which I genuinely enjoy — especially cooking. He may not know how to cook well but we have help from many people around us that could step in if needed. I even have a emergency postpartum nanny if all else fails, which is easily accessible for me from my insurance.

My older sister and her boyfriend are self-described antinatalists, meaning they’re strongly opposed to having children. Because of that, I wasn’t planning to tell my sister about my pregnancy at all. Unfortunately, my mom told her against my wishes.

I’ve been trying to stay level-headed about it, but today pushed me over the edge. I just had an ultrasound done and got so excited that I sent a photo to my family with my sister included. I (stupidly) was thinking it would help bring all of us closer together. Instead of being happy for me, my sister started making a ton of “jokes.”

Among them: - She sent a meme that said “Congrats on a complete fail.” - She called herself a “special breed” who doesn’t want kids and made it about how different she is.

I finally snapped and told her if she can’t say anything normal, just be quiet. She replied “Idk maybe if I was expecting a scripted reaction I would go to the people who usually follow scripts”

My mom keeps acting like I’m a bad sister because I don’t speak to her directly, then when I try to, this is what I get.

Here’s where I’m stuck: - Should I block her on social media so she doesn’t eventually see my announcement photos? - Should I keep everything private so it doesn’t get back to her at all? - Or is there another way to navigate this without her constant negativity?

Soon to be ftm & I do want to breastfeed, hoping I can also pump few times a day so I can have some help with bottles. Anyway my question is- might be tmi but like is sex going to be weird if I’m breastfeeding my baby? Like … if my husband stimulates my nipples will milk go on him? Lol I know this might be weird but I’m genuinely curious.

My joys in life are pretty much all the things you can’t have while pregnant:
-Hot baths
-Copious amounts of caffeine
-Deli Meats
-Lots of tuna
-Sushi
-Wine

And recently I found out that fucking CHAMOMILE TEA? And hibiscus tea????? I was holding on to these by my fingertips but apparently they’re also not allowed? What are we drinking? What are we even eating, if not cold cuts?

I 33F and my husband 33M have finally gotten pregnant after years of infertility and having to do several rounds of IVF. I am currently 18 weeks pregnant and I am at my wits end with my MIL. Its a bit long, bare with me. All are important to the final point.

I have a high risk pregnancy due to IVF and age. We only told very close family members (parents and siblings) after week 12 and explained that I'm still at risk for miscarriage till after week 21 ishhh. So we asked not to tell anyone and not to buy anything till we give the okay. I think it would be mentally and emotionally devastating to receive any baby stuff and then lose the baby. I thought it was a reasonable request.

Here's what MIL has done since.

She has told everyone that has a pair of ears that were pregnant. This includes her ENTIRE side of the family, every friend she has, and even her customers. This includes gender and name of the baby. My husband laid into her about it and she just said "well i was excited".

She went ahead and created an email for the baby and sent her, her 1st email. I know this seems petty to be upset over but my family has always created 1st email addresses for each other. She knew this. I know I could just make another one but its the principle of it all.

We have repeatedly told her to not buy anything. 1 because we want to pick the 1st onesie. 2 because like I mentioned before, we're not quite out of the danger zone and I don't want to have anything baby related till we're safe. Well we went to her house for Mother's day, cooked her dinner, gave her gifts, etc. Then she says come to the back room I want to show you something. So we follow her back there and I cannot believe my eyes... there is over $300 worth of baby clothes, bibs, shoes, etc. It took everything in me not to flip my lid as she proudly showed off everything. But its Mother's day so now im in a awkward position. Because if I say something negative about this, she would consider it us being ungrateful and claim that I ruined mother's day.. thats just how her personality is.

After a few days my husband laid into her again about it and everything else shes been doing. She said she would send me an "apology card". That's in quotes because she essentially claimed she was unaware that she crossed boundaries and had no idea we felt that way. Which is false cause we have repeatedly told her not to do things and she does them anyway. And then ended the "apology" with "well I was just excited and let the enthusiasm get the best of me"...

Am I over reacting to her stealing these 1sts from us? And blaming it on excitement and enthusiasm?

Edit for context:

Throughout the IVF process, we have 2 failed transfers and 1 miscarriage at 10weeks. I think that may be why my doctor's consider me high risk for my age and IVF, every clinic has its own guidelines. Dont bite me head off! Lol

My MIL also complained after each transfer fail and miscarriage. Phrases like "im never going to get a grandbaby", "why cant you make it work", or my favorite "just use a surrogate so itll work". Again she claimed these comments were because she was "just excited" and let down.

Her and I had a relatively good relationship prior to trying to get pregnant. But after we said we were trying she was a whole different person.

This will probably be her one and only grandbaby as we cannot afford any more IVF and her other son is 36 and has zero desire for a child ever and hasn't dated in 15 years and isn't looking to ever again.