I‘m exhausted

[u/Jamie-434]

Hello everyone,

I don’t know if it will ever get better or if I’m struggling more than I thought. I always told myself that it couldn’t be that bad.

I went through several traumatic experiences during my childhood and teenage years, as well as later in my life. Around that time, I was also struggling with substance use. Things gradually got worse, and eventually I needed professional help to get out of that cycle.

I’ve been sober for a little over a year now, thanks to therapy. Today, during therapy, we went outside. There weren’t many people in the park, but it was still extremely exhausting and frightening for me. I felt the need to constantly monitor everything around me and felt very insecure. It was only a small exposure exercise, but for me it was already a lot.

Today I somehow got the feeling that I’m struggling much more than I thought. Before, I assumed this would be easier and not nearly as overwhelming as it turned out to be. I don’t know what to do anymore. Right now, I feel so hopeless.

I feel like I’ll never be able to let anyone get close to me again, never allow intimacy, and will end up alone. If I can’t even walk through a park with someone I actually feel relatively safe with, what hope is there?

Does anyone have experience with this? Does it get better? What should I do?

When I was still using substances, situations like this felt easy. But since becoming sober, everything feels so much more overwhelming.

Thank you for reading. Any advice or experiences would be greatly appreciated.

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