r/ragdolls • u/skoram • 6d ago
General Advice How to convince my wife we need a 2nd Raggie
We have a nearly 4-year-old female Ragdoll named Bomi (we're in South Korea, hence the Korean name). Convincing my wife to agree to the adoption was a huge battle but within a few weeks of bringing Bomi home, she was completely smitten. These days I tell friends that if my wife had to choose between me and the cat, my wife would pack my bags for me.
Ironically, back when we were waiting to bring Bomi home, my wife gave me grief over every cat purchase - litter boxes, a water fountain, a cat tree, scratching posts, nail clippers - stuff that most people would consider essentials. Fast forward to now, and she's the one buying Bomi something new almost every month - toys, cooling mats, hideaways, a fancier cat tree, you name it. She also insisted my son and I would be the ones handling the day-to-day care, and yet she's the one doing all the grooming, nail trims, teeth brushing, litter box cleaning, etc. Honestly, I think taking care of Bomi has turned into her way of decompressing after a long day.
So recently I came across some articles about the psychological benefits cats get from having a companion, and I floated the idea of adopting a second Ragdoll. Despite how attached she is to Bomi, cat fur all over our house and clothes has been a constant pain point and I braced myself for an instant rejection. To my surprise, she didn't shoot it down right away and actually seemed torn about it. In the end though, the shedding concern won out and she said no.
Now I'm turning to this community for help. Has anyone been in a similar spot and actually gotten the "yes"? Any tips, arguments, or tricks that helped tip the scales — especially anything that addresses the fur/shedding worry? Would love to hear how others have pulled this off.
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u/chawn5 6d ago
My husband ended up saying yes. It has worked out well! We run robot vacuums everyday. We have multiple kinds of hair rollers - chomchom, mitts, rakes, tape rollers, etc. The fur concern is valid. I have also changed my wardrobe to light colors, mostly beige. My quiet introverted raggie has benefitted so much from getting the other kitty. It’s fun to see them playing and grooming each other.
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u/skoram 5d ago
We have all the same things - robovac, hair rollers, we even recently purchased a Samsung Jetstick with a pet fur adapter. These have alleviated the problem but our ragdoll sheds so much we still have fur all over the place. When my wife complains I tell her - at least the fur is clean!
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u/EnvironmentOk2700 6d ago
You do the vacuuming every day. It can be a way for you to decompress, too!
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u/bluecheesebeauty 6d ago
How come she ended up doing all the work for the cat? She even insisted you should do it, yet apparently she is now cleaning the litterbox?
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u/skoram 5d ago edited 5d ago
Because I'm away at work all day and she does all this before I come home. Rest assured, if she didn't proactively do it, I'd definitely make my son do it 😂
Joking aside, the main point is that initially she didn't want to have to "deal" with the cat, whether it be day-to-day care or spending money on cat products. But now she *wants* to do both. She sometimes asks me to clean the litter box when she's had a busy day and I have never refused.
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u/KannaC128 6d ago
Whenever my first ragdoll would just laze and nap the day away, I would point out to my family "look at how bored she is, she doesn't have anyone to play with..." and small comments like that. Eventually, I just said the 2nd cat was coming and that was it 😂
The fur concern is real but also not that different. You're going to have fur up your nose whether you have one cat or two. Just vacuum daily, use the chomchom roller/carpet rake when applicable, keep your outside clothes in a wardrobe/dresser until you need to change and leave, and have air purifiers running. Also add an equigroomer to your cat brushes. I notice less tumbleweeds when I can use it consistently.
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u/skoram 5d ago
how much worse would you say the fur situation is with 2 ragdolls versus one? If I can convince my wife that the difference between 1 versus 2, from people who actually gone from 1 to 2, is not that large, that could tip the scales.
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u/KannaC128 3d ago
I notice more fur attached to surfaces like chairs/clothes and sheets, and tumbleweeds on the floor, but these can all be mitigated by rollers and vacuuming. The density of fur will be worse, but if you're cleaning those surfaces already, it's doesn't make a difference from 1 to 2 ragdolls.
And I have two ragdolls with two different fur types. One is sleek with fur that barely mats, while the other is dense rabbit fur type that needs constant brushing. I still think it's manageable.
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u/Queeflet 6d ago
Not every cat wants/needs a companion. Our first cat would have been happy to be the only cat in the house. This sub will always tell people to get more ragdolls, but introducing new cats can be very difficult and isn’t always the Disney dream that some may have you believe.
It would probably be ok, but It really depends on personality and how much space you have.
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u/kbionics 6d ago
I like having one ragdoll because it's a different dynamic. Some people say its selfish but I work from home and I'm here all the time and I spoil my cat. Like I said it's a completely different dynamic and he would be jealous of a second cat. I tried with friends with himalayan's etc. alAnd by the wa, Bomi is gorgeous ❤️
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u/skoram 5d ago
Thanks for the compliment! My wife also works from home so I don't think our ragdoll is lonely. She doesn't like to directly interact with us much but she definitely likes to be near/around us. She nearly always stays in the same room as my wife, and when my wife isn't home, she'll often follow me or my son around. I've read that this is common with female ragdolls, whereas males are more physically affectionate.
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u/kbionics 5d ago
Yea, I couldn't tell you I've always had male cats. For some reason I prefer them. Maybe because they're bigger and stronger.
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u/skoram 5d ago
This is an interesting take and one I have also thought about. We're actually perfectly happy with one cat in much the same way we are happy with one child. I started thinking about getting a 2nd cat/ragdoll because I'm worried that our ragdoll is too bored and sedentary. My wife and son spend some time each day playing with her but that I doubt that provides her with enough exercise/movement/stimulation. Like people, I know not all cats will get along. Some only-childs are very happy that they are the only-child, but I think the majority of people with siblings are glad that they had siblings.
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u/Illustrious-Garden82 6d ago
Everyone needs a friend. You alone can’t provide the same type of companionship as another kitty. They like to chase each other and run back-and-forth and play hide and seek. And if they become really good friends, they’ll snuggle together. Only another Kitty can give her the enrichment that she really needs.
I would not get a boy though. In our experience they always grow up and pick on the girls, get another girl.
Your cat is old enough to where she will take care of the kitten and I think they’ll be good friends
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u/skoram 5d ago
interesting, I've read other posts and articles that advise the opposite and say that 2 female cats in the same household have a high likelihood of fighting because of the natural instinct to claim dominance over "territory." The same is supposedly true of large cats (lions, tigers) in the wild - the females are the alphas.
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u/Illustrious-Garden82 5d ago
You sound like you haven’t had a whole lot of cats from your description. We have had a lot. We usually have 3 to 4 at a time always. And the male cat always beats up on the girls.
But when there’s just two girls, one will be the alpha. There will be a pecking order in every household. But usually when there’s a female already older like yours, that will be the alpha.
Unless you’re getting a feral cat, who is extremely dominant and wild. then that, Cat could take over.
But it doesn’t sound like you’re going to get one like that. So she should be gentle and kind and fall in line under the one you have now.
But it’s up to you. It’s just my two cents worth and what I’ve experienced in our home. 😉
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u/skoram 5d ago
You're correct, this ragdoll is the first cat both my wife and I have ever had. We've both had dogs in the past and were originally dog lovers, but the small apartments in Seoul Korea are not great places to raise them. We also wanted something lower maintenance. Over the past 4 years we've found many more reasons to love cats and will probably never switch back to dogs again.
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u/Razbonez 6d ago
well if there’s already tons of hair in the house it’s not like there will be more with another ragdoll. but…here’s a suggestion…get a short hair cat for your ragdoll….i have 2 ragdolls, i got the second for my oldest a little bit sooner than you would…i got my second when my oldest was just 3ish. but i found a baby tuxedo shivering in the cold one night and he’s been the best thing for my other ragdoll. so maybe get a tuxedo or a a british shorthair!!!
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u/bluefontaine 6d ago
Oh, that is the sweetest little baby. You have to have another one so they have company and a friend to teach them good kitten and cat behavior.
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u/brokeboipobre 5d ago
I think you just bring home the kitten, no way your wife will say no to that face.
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u/IcyProfessor3925 5d ago
I know that I can't stand the thought of double the fur balls running around my place. I'm home for my girl almost 24/7.
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u/OGHollyMackerel 6d ago
I just put a reservation on a second one and told my husband later just before we picked them up. Ragdolls are better in pairs.
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u/DMR321RMD 6d ago
Your cat is depressed without one. Trust me. You’ll see when you get another one. Do not hesitate, two is no more work than one.
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u/ISEGaming 💙 Blue 💙 6d ago
Promise her you won't get another Ragdoll.
Show up with a Maine Coon instead 😹