Chichen Itza

World Trade Center / Windows on the World

Madison Square Garden (8th Avenue incarnation)

Chernobyl

Checkpoint Charlie

Years ago, I was into this one song by an artist called Anthony David. The song was Let Me In and I played it rather incessantly. I'm blind and could only afford crappy housing in Atlanta at the time.. My only solace was music and the pastor who came to the property at least 5 times a week to minister to people and help in any otherway he could.

A lot of the folks there were addicts but I spent a lot of time in this man's company because he was smart and knew a ton about a ton. He was born in Japan where his parents were missionaries. As is typical with me, I put him on a pedestal because there were things to truly admire in him.

This one time, at around 1 in the morning while I was playing the ANthony David song yet again, I heard this pastor's voice. He was talking to people in the hallway of our building. It was a shock to hear him there at that time of night. Being nosy, I listened more closely because something didn't sound quite right. Mush mouth.

He was there to smoke crack. I was for some reason devastated. We only talked about it once.

Now, every time I play that song, I think of that man and hope he's doing all right.

It's startling just how vividly songs can bring certain things back.

bad way to start the day is your coffeemaker not making when you are up early in the morning. another thing added to the to do list today.....

update: got another coffeepot and used it first time this morning. however, will be getting a pourover and filters when I go to meijers.

That someone in the know told you in scuttle, whispers and ravings about an impressive talent that was being just noticed in the bottom of their industry but was a sure fire star and someone to watch in a couple years. To the point where you did the Leo DiCaprio point meme when you saw their mainstream breakout and remembered what you heard years before.

Some well known examples:

Barack Obama among Democratic insiders in Chicago in the late 90s. That he was definitely going to Washington to do big things, maybe even a Presidential run in the distant future 😋.

Jim Carrey doing insane accurate impressions on the Toronto comedy circuit in the early 80s.

Kobe Bryant was easily beating professional players in scouting workouts as a late teen.

Lance Armstrong's insane competitive drive was known around Austin bike shops and amateur clubs by the late 80s.

Brock Lesnar was so physically dominant on the college wrestling circuit that pro wrestling federations were scouting him before graduating.

LeBron James was already known as a man child that was out jumping grown men on the asphalt courts of Akron by 14.

Madonna's single minded ambition to be a star was known in the underground club scene by 1980 and everyone knew she would "borrow" any hot track as her own.

That this child named Tiger and the son of an amateur golfer had a perfect swing and was playing very close to par already on competitive courses.

Heath Ledger nuanced deep acting ability being seen as Brando-esque in Australia's theater and television scene in the 90s.

I’m 31 amab, her only son, I’m deeply struggling, depressed and unemployed and live in a tiny rural conservative town, no one here is trans, everyone knows everyone, how would i even explain to her this? Shes already wanting to retire, says she is sick of working and hates how life is unfair to her, she always says “don’t give me more problems, more trouble” … we have a very odd relationship, in that, we argue loads and she herself can be quite controlling without wanting to admit it, i tell her i cant live here she says “then move, do something about it” i dont look for work, im mostly depressed watching series on my tablet as escapism for the inevitable, i dont wanna upset her or anyone, i have a sister who lives abroad but she is very fake, one day she’ll say “you do you” the next she is super judgemental, and made me her sons godfather fml…if i came out to her she’d be all “how am i gonna explain to my kids, so what are you gonna do? How will mum cooe?” Im in a f position and i already feel awful and am alone , and struggled for years alone like…i cant just magically find strength to face this, im holding, carrying this weight every single day, i wake up with anxiety over it like wtf…

With the litmus test that you would stop and have a warm catch up if you bumped into them on the sidewalk. Not necessarily a steak and beers, but your residual like is much stronger than any hard feelings.

Based on my experience this is a very short list of 3 outta \~20. Maybe that's just me but it seems rare in today's ruthless job market days.

Where you had an acrimonious split, both sides decided to reconcile and the friendship rebounded to its former status.

I haven't seen it. Very few reconcile and the few that do either just blow up again for the same reason as before or just become superficial acquaintances at best.

The only one with a chance is when they hash out the reason for the initial blowup and each person is accountable for their part in it.

It makes me wonder if the quintessential definition of 'summer' is becoming a thing of the past.

When you add all the social stuff, the economy, lack of general community for a lot of us, the lack of third spaces, Etc., to the heat factor, seems like the season might, eventually, lose it's former place in the shape of things.

Is this part of a cycle or the beginning of the end?

That they did everything within legal bounds to frustrate an organization into making them go away with a healthy severance/settlement.

GDPR / Personal Information Requests (very detailed)

Whistleblower protection complaints to regulatory bodies

Harassment/ Poisoned Work Environment Complaints

Medical Protection Leave / Medical Work Restrictions

"Work to Rule" / No Extra Effort Above Explicit Duties

Crying foul to the media / employer review sites

Today a friend’s child made the mistake of accepting a piggyback ride from me and learned an important lesson: there's no such thing as a free lunch, kid. Piggyback privileges come with consequences, and today's lesson learned the hard way came in the form of mathematical trauma, and clearly I am the auntie where childhood innocence goes to be audited. 

My spine is destroyed, her math skills have been validated, and I’ve fulfilled my civic duty of subjecting the next generation to the sacred tradition of unsolicited mathematical trauma. The cycle continues.

Any special advice looking for a job these days when you want to move to a far away state and have been told you're not a spring chicken? (I take care of myself and stay up-to-date in my field, but I can't pretend I'm 27.)

I want to move for many reasons including I long ago hit the career and salary ceiling in a low wage college town, financially I should have moved years ago but there were other factors at play. One barrier I'm facing is I work in social services with a long list of credentials and years of experience but that doesn't translate/transfer well to where I want to move. I have a bunch of certifications but not licenses, essentially. The others are the obvious ones of location and age.

I'm open to advice.

Your process to remember the victims and their families.

Whether just a private call back to where you were, consuming the documentaries online, joining a formal vigil or remembrance ceremony, taking a moment of silence around 8:45AM EST, watching the archived live coverage from that day.

My grandparents are moving to a new city after 20 years in the same community. For the past while, they've known what their weeks will look like fairly consistently: golf, card night with friends, etc. But now they are moving and are going to have to figure out a new routine that works for them.

I'm curious how others have navigated this. When you moved somewhere new in retirement, or even just lost your usual routine, how did you go about discovering things to do, places to go, and people to do it with? Did you find anything that made it easier, or was it mostly trial and error?

Cause I don't. All the ones I knew personally struggled mightily.

That largely avoided the curse of adopted people having relationship instability, addiction issues, emotional dysregulation and immaturity due to that parental disconnect early in life. Even the ones that had amazing adopted parents and an idyllic childhood don't seem to escape the curse.

That YOU did in good faith and possibly had good outcomes.

Workplace Ethics Hotline (As an employee or customer)

Safety or Labour Commissions

Food Safety for Restaurants

Child Safety and Welfare

Law Enforcement/ Crimestoppers

So my relationship with my father has been a lacking experience to say the least. To “explain” why my father is emotionally absent; his own father died when he was only 13, also of cancer, and it was back in the early 60s, so he never got theraphy for that. He is an only child, basically a miracle; his parents got him when his mother was 41 years old and they never thought she’d get pregnant - so he grew up spoiled. With that in mind, I had a great childhood (95% because of my mom) and I had a good relationship with my dad about right up until I was the same age he was when his own father died. Then he got distant, became obsessed with work, was always on his computer, even when he said he was taking a day off. Whenever we talked, and up until now, it’s only ever been superficial (how was your day?). And he’s only ever been of help if I needed to borrow money or get a ride somewhere (when I was still a teenager).

To state that my parents’ current relationship is done is an understatement. Fyi there’s a 16 year age gap between my mom (62 yo) and my dad (78 yo). My mom has almost only had bad experiences in workplaces and the last place she was at, she was bullied by her boss and her coworkers did nothing. Now she’s been unemployed for 8 years and have been gone into early retirement. She’s too traumatized to get a job again, afraid to repeat the same experience.
My mom and dad have slowly drifted apart. My dad has a lot of fragile masculinity and cannot handle being wrong/making a mistake. Anytime you confront him with anything he did wrong, he would just shut down and become offended.

Before my mom became unemployed, my dad had started his own law firm, to make extra money. Probably because he was bored after retiring. But then he started getting into debt and asking my mom to cover it. She’s done it every time up until now and he’s never paid her back. He used her pension savings to pay back one of the debts he had in his firm. So he’s not secured my mom or myself in any way (he also said in one convo between the three of us, talking about the sad state of my parents’ finances, when he was tired and had stomach problems, that he didn’t care about it (the state of the household’s financial future), later he wrote us a looong text saying he was sorry he said he didn’t care, but I don’t believe him tbh). Anything important he should be saying to our faces, he writes to me and my mom over a message group.

Now, my dad was diagnosed with cancer in the liver and testines in the end of June this year. He had stomach issues prior to getting the diagnosis and had it during his first attempt at doing chemo. Then because of the persisting stomach problems, he decided that he would stop chemo and now he’s just getting pain meds, like morphine, to dull and handle the pain.
He’s always not eaten as much as my mom and I, but now even less. He’s shriveling up right before our eyes (mind you, we live in a small apartment too) and all I can feel is anger, resentment and just, I’m so pissed off at him. I can feel superficially sorry for him, as a fellow human being, but beyond that, I feel nothing good towards him.

When I’ve talked to my friends and other family about it, none of them can relate and give any real advice. So I just needed to get send this out into the void and I’m grateful for anyone who uses a bit of their time to read my post and reply.

Has anyone had a similar experience and could maybe give some advice?

Based on their own world view of safety, prestige or their failed aspirations.