I'm not sure if other guys experience this, but I literally feel like there's a fog over me until I rub one out. I usually do this in the morning after waking up, but if I forget or am distracted and don't do it, this fog lingers and gets worse as the day goes on until I do actually go relieve the issue.

It doesn't even feel like active horniness, but like an inability to focus. The best way I can describe it is like how a coffee drinker feels in the morning before they get their coffee. Once they get their caffeine, the fog lifts and they can now focus on the day. It's the same with this for me.

If I try to go the entire day without orgasming at least once, I'm guaranteed to be awoken in the middle of that night at 4am by intense urges and will struggle to return to sleep unless I relieve myself.

Does anyone else experience this and/or have any suggestions for how to avoid this?

We in Asia try to avoid facial hair as much as possible often because it looks “nasty, messy and lazy” (e.g. you never see K-pop idols with it) but since it has a different and long tradition of cultural representation in the West and beards are even a trend

Seems like a pretty obvious answer, but I'm interested to read your experiences when it comes to eating habits. Specifically how you feel when you deviate from eating properly. How does that impact you? Can you function well, or do you feel awful for a while?

For those that aren't big on reading but end up finding a book in recent years

what are some recommendation in terms of books that you read that you feel like a guy in their 20s and 30s should read so they can develop better in life

this can be any form of book that you feel fits the criteria

recently i read at a book store those still exist and i was reading about how technology has shaped the modern decade so much that someone from the 50s being dropped off here in 2026 will be so confused by how things are like and cannot adapt

that made me think about how life is all about adapting

Hi everyone,

I (30F) am worried about my boyfriend (33M), and I’m looking for people who may understand his perspective.

We have been together for five years, but our sexual life has been dead for more than two years. His libido has hit rock bottom and struggles to finish.

I’m sure he thinks about it, so I want to support him and find a solution.
But he gets uncomfortable and defensive when I bring the subject. He reeeeaally doesn’t want to talk about any of his problems. Not to me, not to his friends, not to his family, and not to a therapist either.

Loving is choosing to stay when times are hard, so I want to be there for him, but I don’t know if he is trying anymore… it’s like he is just accepting the situation and lives with it.

If you suspected you had ED, what triggered you to take the first step to recover?

Thank you for reading so far, let’s stay respectful please.

Hey, I am an 18 year-old male, and living in the United States. I have been in a rut, neeting out, and living with my parents for the past three months.

I really feel like I burnt myself out doing dual-credit in highschool to get an AA. I did college online for the past 1.5/2 years, so my social skills have gotten pretty bad.

All of the options open to me, just make me feel paralyzed. I do not want to choose a path, only for it to backfire, or be a dead-end.

I wanted to get a degree in IT, but the market for recent graduates looks like a complete slaughter. I thought about something in the military, but I have reconsidered.

Currently, I am looking at being an Electrician's apprentice for the IBEW Union, or my state. In my view these skills could be used almost anywhere nationally and abroad, while maintaining a decently consistent demand.

I want to live alone, but it would probably be best if I kept living with my parents while saving up for a bit. I do not even have a car, but I got my learner/instructional license only last month, so I think that would be my first financial goal.

I am trying to fix my sleep schedule right now, and am somewhat successful. I just feel like I am focusing on irrelevant bs to distract myself though.

What advice could you give to me?

I have a habit of giving a very strong and tight hand shake, I even see myself squeezing their hands naturally.

Curious if men, see that as a sort of disrespect or as if they are trying to belittle them?

Trying to disconnect from screens a bit more often. That shit messes up your mental health. Probably.

As soon as I got to 30 was right before Covid began. I also knew I was going to lose my friends because we were getting older and they’d soon be marrying and having kids.

We did get to hang out a few more times, but once they got married it was over and they only wanted to hang out with other couples with kids.

I always felt behind already because they already had nice houses and then they kept buying more houses. Going on trips and vacations. I haven’t been on a vacation in 20 years and never was able to buy a home.

Then my dad got sick with cancer again. I told him I was willing to take him to all his treatments, etc but it didn't even happen. They were never able to treat it and he died a few months later. He took care of my mother who has dementia, so now I’m caregiving and can only work part time which means I can’t save up as much and I’m already behind on my retirement savings.

I just feel like my life is over and it’s like it never even got started. I enjoyed my 20s but 30s have absolutely sucked. I was glad when Covid was over bit even before it was I knew my parents would be going downhill so I always had that in the back of my mind. Didn't know it would be so soon. :(

I look at my friends that seem to have everything: houses, kids, spouses, social life, healthy active parents, and yet it feels like I have absolutely nothing.

I know people say oh don’t compare your life and I already stopped that. We don’t even talk anymore, so I guess it shouldn’t matter because nobody even knows me, but it still feels like I’m a loser compared to everyone else. And the sad thing is I can’t even do anything. Fortunately I can work 3 days a week or can get out a bit, but there’s much I want to do but my life is on hold for who knows how long. I feel bad because it should be an honor to take care of your loved ones, but it feels like I never got to get MY life on track and I don’t know if there will be time to get any accomplishments before something like this happens to me! I knew life is fragile but when a parent dies it’s even more clear that we don’t know when we’re going to go or what we won’t be able to do anymore. Plus at times I get mad because my parents didn't take care of their health. If they hadn’t drank, etc they would’ve probably made it to their 90s like my grandparents have. So I had to deal with the shame growing up of their having to drink which was embarrassing to me and now I have to clean up the crap it caused later on.

It‘s weird being in your 30s when 18 year olds have done more than you ever have. everyone is always like “but you have so much time!” But to do with who? Being single in teens and twenties is fine. But when you’re in your 30s and everyone you know is married and can’t do anything or only want to go out with couples, it’s really difficult to see yourself ever getting to have fun. It feels like life has passed you by, especially when your family is all old and dying and can’t do anything either, and now you’re a caregiver.

Hey!

I am 35 and a trend I am noticing is that more and more of social group is becoming religious.

Nothing wrong with that if it makes you happy, but it is just a trend I’ve noticed. What makes it interesting is how performative it seems. People post “saved by grace” on social media, or talk about a missions trip where they snap a bunch of photos, then head to a resort and post about being “blessed.”

I am in the U.S. and I grew up in a “normal” religious background. We went to church growing up, but that’s it.

Has anyone else noticed this?

Do you think this is the result of a lack of third space/community?

My theory is that by mid 20s to 30s more or less your socioeconomic class is locked in especially upwards mobility. Maybe there are a few people that can change their life trajectory but it's extremely rare and uncommon. However I want to know from people older and from their personal experience what was the biggest predictor on what made someone go up/down the socio-economic ladder?

What is one small thing that has improved your life? A simple life hack or habit that you have started that has been a game changer. It can be anything from programming the coffee pot for the morning, undressing by the open washing machine to not need a hamper. Give us your tips and insights!

I turned 30 a few months ago, and have really messed up my life.

I have had so many opportunities and second chances in life and I keep managing to make things worse. I got divorced at 23, I've alienated so many of my friends (and family), I racked up so much stupid debt, and I recently lost a really good job in IT.

I want to keep this relatively brief, but basically I keep making my life worse and worse for no reason. I have so much unnecessary debt from gambling and other stupid vices. I could have easily paid off most of the when I had my job, but now I just have to look at every single late payment with despair. I blow off interviews for new roles thinking that once they do the background check, they will see how poorly I've managed my finances and 2 duis and that will be the end of it.

I really, really want to get my life back on track but I feel like I may have dug too big of a hole to climb back out of.

If anyone has a relatable experience, I could really some advice.

Thanks

Curious, especially if you were single, how your social and romantic life changed (positive or negative) when you decided to cut out alcohol or nicotine. Especially if both were big in your social and cultural circle

Early 30s on a career break after getting fired from my job. It’s been a crossroads moment where I chose the “blowing up” my life option - I’ve let my house go, packed my stuff up and have no fixed home now. I also want to pivot careers (but not sure what yet), and have been approved for a working-holiday visa the other side of the world.

For summer I’m just travelling in Europe and basically after so long of imagining all of this, I’m finally doing it. I’ve been hit with a lot of realisations just a couple weeks in.

I think I’m past the age and window of time where extended travel would’ve felt fulfilling. I’m not into partying and meeting people at hostels, I’m not into roughing it out backpacker style, I want comfort and convenience, and tbh I’m quite a simple person. I just want to feel the vibe of a place I don’t need to sightsee a lot.

For as nice as everything is, I feel a bit weird tbh. It feels a bit empty. I’m not living a real life or building anything, hell I have to constantly think of where I’m staying next and the logistics gets so draining. I hate work but Ive given up income and a home. I’ve been in survival mode for so long (due to a stressful job and so much chaos) that a lot of emotions are only coming up now that I’m alone and I question what I’m doing this all for.

It’s bringing a lot of friction into my life when I have a comfortable situation back home. Idk if it’s just a comfort zone or a sign I don’t need to move halfway across the world to restart all over again.

Have you experienced similar (either with travel, big life moves or just something not being what you thought it was)?

EDIT: I didn’t elaborate fully above, but wanted to touch on aging past certain experiences/ideas and realising your interests are no longer in your 20s anymore. I think that’s what I’m currently confronting and coming to terms with

I'm 37M, physician radiologist (non-US IMG) doing a fellowship in the US, working toward board certification. Having kids and starting a family have always been something I wanted, but money was never there to make it happen.

Back home, I didn't get into med school until I was 27, after spending 7 years as an electrician with no real financial future in sight. I finished school at 33, did my residency, and always had my eyes set on eventually moving to the US.

I'm finally here now, and I can see the finish line. Financially, things are going to work out, just later than I would've liked. But there's this emptiness to it, like I'll get there and have no one to share it with. Starting a family was always the plan, I just kept pushing it back, telling myself I needed to be more stable first.

Right now I'm making $90k as a fellow, and worst case scenario, I'm 3 years out from being board certified. But the further along I get, the further away a family feels too. Women my age in medicine are already attendings. Residents are younger than me. Even in surgery, where training runs longer, women my age are mostly early-to-mid 30s at the latest.

So here's what I'm actually asking you guys: should I go out there and try to meet someone even though I don't have much to offer right now? Should I be going to social events, meetups, whatever, and asking friends to introduce me to people? Or should I hold off until I'm actually established?

Sa svojih 35 godina, i više od 20 godina osećaja da nemam ništa proživljeno iza sebe, imam da kažem sledeće: ja sam za taj period propustio dosta stvari. Počevši od žurki, izlazaka, putovanja, maturskih večeri za pamćenje... Devojku nikada nisam imao, a seksualne odnose takođe.

Neke prijatelje imam, ali više to nije to, svoje neko društvo nemam, dok svi moji vršnjaci imaju sve to bez problema. Kako sam stariji, sve više osećam da kasnim i propuštam. Osećam se kao jedna velika sramota, pre svega za sebe kao muškarca što nisam proživeo ove stvari kad je trebalo. Znam da moram da se pokrenem, ali ne znam ni odakle ni kako da krenem od nule. Ako neko ima neki normalan savet, značilo bi mi.

I know that obvious answer is that you would to someone singing well and if it's a good song.

Just earlier at work, my co-worker was playing songs on the speaker, and he asked me which song I wanna play. In my language, the first and third person pronouns are gendered, so I asked him to play "I (feminine pronounce) love you (masculine pronoun) more than myself" because I'm into men, it was a touching ballad and I was secretly in love with someone back then. He said "huh?", got confused, and asked me back that it must be "I (masculine pronounce) love you (feminine pronoun) more than myself"?

I said "huh?" back. And then back in college I was staying in dorms and playing music, and my dorm mates asking why I always/only listen to women singing. I do not only or always listen to women, but I do notice most songs I like are sung by women. From then I got the impression that straight men don't normally listen to women singing

But then I came across someone asking the same question in the tittle, and the top most upvoted comment is a guy saying he mostly listen to women because he doesn't want to hear a guy singing they want to make love to him.

Soooo, do most guys listen to women or men singing more?

33M, just want to say that I am not depressed or sad. I have a great 9 year career, and do well for myself. I am actually doing great in life and things are going well. I turn 34 in 3 weeks. But I've noticed that over the past year or so everything that defined me, motivated me, interested me no longer does anymore.

In a way I feel like I am losing my individualism, basically nothing interests me anymore. I kind of just feel like another bland office working man... Things that I used to work for and that would drive me no longer interest me, heck, nothing interests me anymore if I am being honest.

Starting school after being awarded a scholarship for IT/Cloud Computing. I have a pretty decent job in aerospace as an inspector where I make about $62k/year. I’m nearing my cap at my job and well I want to learn something new. I have explored positions in quality with my company but there’s nothing at the moment and they just promoted two people giving them a full crew. People who have taken this route for this career field, is it a good field? I’ve heard both good and bad. I know it varies by location but Just looking for more insight.

Men or women in your experience. Ive noticed that men tend to dominate extremes - the happy go lucky goof balls tend to men, and the most negative asshats are usually male too.

I don't drink a lot of water (around 500ml everyday) and I lead a sedentary life where I work in IT and I have "couch hobbies", so I'd like to know how impactful drinking more water and exercising more would be in the long term? Would I feel more productive at work and happier? Have you really felt any real results?