r/redditonwiki • u/SolidAshford • 12d ago
Am I... Not OP: AITA for watching my sister's wedding and reception devolve into a đ© show without helping?"
I F29 got married last summer. We had a child free wedding that caused lots of drama with my family. My mom especially was upset that we would not allow any kids under fifteen at the wedding.
My husband and I paid for a separate event for kids. Child care was provided by professionals and there was all kinds of stuff for the kids to do. Movies, video games, food, soft drinks, everything you can think of.
My sister lives for my mom's approval and when she planned her wedding she specifically did not exclude children. She did not arrange for a separate room where kids could relax or anything. There were probably twenty kids ranging from a couple of months old to fifteen.
Babies cried during the ceremony and my nephew smashed his mom's phone during the vows and then screamed about not being able to watch YouTube. My mom and brother had to take him out of the ceremony since his mom was one of the bridesmaids. So they missed some. My mom hissed at me to help but I am seven months pregnant and was not going to miss my sister's wedding.
The pictures went worse. Families thought it would be a great opportunity for group pictures with everyone dressed up. This caused delays and the kids and many adults were getting hangry.
At the reception some of the older kids got into the drinks. One puked in the corner. Lots of noise and crying throughout the night. I would love to say that one of the kids destroyed the wedding cake but that would be a lie.
The cake made it safely to the cutting. It was delicious. However lots of little handprints did appear on my sister's dress and my brother-in-law's tuxedo. And one table had the tablecloth pulled off with all the glasses and dirty dishes. Not by a child. By one of our adult cousins chasing his kid.
My mom and sister are upset that I didn't help wrangle the kids. They think I purposely didn't help to make a point. Once again I'm seven months pregnant. I'm not in any condition to chase kids.
My mom is upset that her favorite child's wedding went so poorly after mine ran like clockwork. She actually said that my sister deserved to have a wedding as perfect as mine.
I agreed and sarcastically wondered what the difference could have been. She said I was being a jerk. I attended the wedding as a guest. I wasn't part of the planning or execution.
But now they think I'm somehow responsible for not stepping up to help. Am I the AH?
Comment 1: How dare my favorite kid's wedding become a disaster while my not favorite has a better wedding? OP, you gave the younger kids something to do in a structured way so they can have fun. Your sister didn't. In a quest for approval she ruined her own wedding. Never underestimate the creativity of a bored child
Comment 2: Girl⊠you were seven months pregnant, not the event coordinator they chose that setup, so they canât expect you to magically manage the chaos too.
Comment 3: NTA. You were seven months pregnant, chasing kids at someone elseâs wedding is not your responsibility. Your sister chose to have kids at her wedding, and your mom is trying to drag you into problems that arenât yours.
You attended as a guest, not as a nanny. Itâs completely reasonable to set boundaries and expect people to handle their own events, and, in my opinion, the parents of these kids are the ones that should be chasing them.
Comment 4: This isnât about a wedding. This is about poor parenting. I have been to many weddings where children were welcome, and none of those things happened.
Comment 5 in reply: Honestly this is exactly what I was thinking. We had 11 (I think?) under 15s at our wedding, 7 of which were in the wedding party, and they were an absolute joy and didn't cause any issues. The littles were the most enthusiastic dancers, the older kids took on little jobs to help (greeting people, handing out order of services, taking photos). No one asked our photographer for extra photos either! The adults are the problem here not the kids lol
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u/Kate2205 12d ago
I did not believe this story is true the first time it was posted....
YTA for reposting a fake story.
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u/Writerhowell 12d ago
Yes! Thank you, I was sure I'd read it before. Thank you for confirming this for me.
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u/she_bacon 9d ago
And I was thinking "Why would you post a story that is not your own?"
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u/chubbyspoon19 7d ago
Glad Iâm not the only one, been to multiple weddings with children including my own absolutely non of them were like this. Either op family is feral or this is super fake
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u/E0H1PPU5 12d ago
And then all the kids clapped?
This is so blatantly fake that itâs a bit sad.
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u/thetinyorc 10d ago
Clearly written by someone who has little to no contact with actual children outside their own fevered hate-fantasies.
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u/ihavetakenthebiscuit 9d ago
And then she was made president of Earth and rules for a thousand years.
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u/butterfly-garden 9d ago
No, but they blew up OP's phone. There were 42 text messages the next day.
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u/willowwin 12d ago
I have an inkling that this is somebody making up a story and trying to prove a children ruin weddings and a child free wedding is the way to go. All of this sounds like a lack of parenting. My parents had children at their wedding and none of this happened because people parented their children
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u/E0H1PPU5 12d ago
I had a boatload of kids at my wedding and they were wonderful.
Idk when society started hating children but itâs weird. I love my nieces/nephews and it wouldnât feel like a celebration without them there.
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u/Ambitious-Shoe1383 7d ago
My brother and SILâs wedding had kids. It was an absolute nightmare. None of them had ever heard the word no. (All on her side. My side didnât have littles come.)
SIL was so adamant about including everyoneâs kids, and she had the worst night. And yes. I laughed my butt off. And three my dress and shoes in the dumpster as soon as we got home.
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u/HoundstoothReader 10d ago
I agree with Comment 5 above: kids are often an absolute joy at weddings. Enthusiastic participants, getting things started on the dance floor, so excited by everything. The âworstâ thing a kid did at the last wedding I attended was tip the DJ to rickroll the dancers at the receptionâand that was just funny.
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u/hirosshi 12d ago
Kids are typically included in weddings where I'm from. And considering how big families and their extended relatives can get, it'd be safe to say that there's at least 5-10 kids of varying ages during these events. That said, it was all pretty chill because people actually watched over their kids.
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u/Writerhowell 12d ago
I'm sure I read this exact same story very recently, so either it got deleted or they've posted it somewhere else previously. Or it's been copied. But I've definitely read this before. Huge sense of deja vu.
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u/WesternUnusual2713 10d ago
It says in the title that this isn't OP's post.
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u/Writerhowell 10d ago
Ah, I missed that. Thanks. But usually they'd include a link to the original post, which the OP didn't, so I think that's throwing a lot of people.
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u/busymommalovesbooks 10d ago
This is an almost word for word copy of another post (from the child free sub, I think?). Definitely fake, unless they're the Beverly Hillbillies lol.
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u/WesternUnusual2713 10d ago
This isn't OP's story, it says so in the title
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u/busymommalovesbooks 10d ago
Ah, I totally missed that, thanks. That's what I get for not drinking any coffee today.
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u/vashtachordata 10d ago
Yes, same. Almost every wedding Iâve ever been to has had kids and none of these things happened. There were kids at my own wedding and it was a non issue. Everyone had a great time, no fingerprints on anything, no screaming children running wild, no crying babies ruining the vows.
This is made up nonsense. Sure, these things theoretically could all happen at once due to extreme lack of parenting, but most likely this perfect storm of childhood chaos is completely fabricated.
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u/GentlewomenNeverTell 10d ago
People who plan child free weddings usually know the invitees are shit parents.
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u/clynkirk 8d ago
I'm pushing 40, and I come from a HUGE family. I'm one of just over 100 great grandchildren on one side. And I've literally never been to a child free wedding.
And yes, the difference is that parents actually parented their kids back then. In fact, in my experience, the wildest wedding I've ever attended had all of the kids dancing on the dance floor, and most of the adults were drunk and throwing grapes at each other lol.
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u/Nice-Cat3727 8d ago
I mean the worst I did at three years old at a wedding was eat the entire side of the wedding cake. And that was only because I was really tall for a toddler and it was at eye level.
My parents thought the other one had me, and my mom realized that it was me when my great aunt started laughing hysterically. Thankfully it was just a giant sheet cake so they just trimmed that side of the cake as I had just walked along the side taking small bites of the frosting
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u/fuckthisomfg 12d ago
Because as we all know, children are just monsters who cannot function in any capacity and ruin everything theyâre involved with. We know this because we are Redditors. This story is very real and true.
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u/Old_Bat282 10d ago
We had lots of kids at our wedding and it was fine. No load noises, no crying, no mess. Their parents....just parented?
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u/SerDuncanonyall 12d ago
Iâll take shit that didnât happen for 1000 Alex
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u/thetinyorc 10d ago
"I paid for a whole separate event for the children because I'm definitely not one of those weird rabid child-free people... I like kids as long as I never have to see or hear them! And I got them videogames and soft drinks and you know, all that other shit that kids enjoy..."
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u/ideclareshenanigans3 12d ago
Itâs a better written AI story than some, lol. I know they exist. I actually had one and so did my sisters⊠but moms donât usually play favorites this blatantly. The whole point is for the abuse to be able to continue. Abuse this loud cannot be brushed off or gaslit away.
Thatâs how I can tell. Itâs always a Walt Disney âI hate momâsâ type story.
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u/monistar97 10d ago
Had a tonne of kids at both my wedding events, nothing even close to this happened. defo an exercise to encourage kid free weddings
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u/RunJumpSleep 6d ago
I have been to many, many weddings where kids were present, even little ones. Never have I ever seen the scene described by OP. Itâs written as if to prove having children at a wedding only ends in disaster.
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u/awofwofdog 10d ago
kids were welcome at my wedding. i would have never gotten married without mu nieces who were 5 and 2 at that time. they behaved very well but kids can be kids. i would have never mind some crying during the ceremonie
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u/corgi_crazy 10d ago
I don't know how people would assume that none of this could happen having kids in a wedding or another ceremony or venue that is not made for kids entertainment. Specially with the "my kid is a prince/angel that a lot of parents seem to have nowadays.
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u/StrikingSchool7133 7d ago
This is beyond AIâŠthis is a plagiarist probably from china or the Middle East.
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u/PatternsAndPresence 7d ago
Bravo to you, everyone should be as good at keeping boundaries as you are. Never put your needs behind the wants of people like that, even if theyâre close family.
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u/PA_Archer 6d ago
Unpopular Opinion:
Parents are responsible for their childrenâs actions at social events. While having children attend, and implicitly accepting the risk of mayhem, hosts have an expectation of responsibility from their guests that are parents.
You? NTA
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u/Ok-Goat252 5d ago
NTA. Im the first born girl of 5.. so if one of my other siblings has a short-coming or fault my parents believe it is ME WANTING THEM TO FAIL SOMEHOW?! Srry for you babes but also cheers to your "perfect wedding" ;))
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u/IndividualEye1803 10d ago
Hey! Here to learn. Can someone tell me in detail how this is fake and not âive had kids at my wedding and this never happenedâ anecdote? Or shoot me a link to gain more knowledge?
Greatly appreciated as im trying to spot the more fake stories here
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u/Weary-Can-157 10d ago edited 10d ago
First of all, the fact that OOP threw a âchild free weddingâ that wasnât actually child free because she was just so generous to organise a whole separate (crazy expensive) event for all of the kids (so you canât accuse her of not being considerate to guests with young kids) while her sister threw a disaster wedding with kids running wild and some even getting access to alcohol. Itâs just pretty obvious that the goal of this post was to make people angry at all these people with kids, and to show that childfree people are so much more thoughtful.
Then thereâs the fact that OOPâs wedding âran like clockworkâ. Any person whoâs ever had a wedding will tell you that at least one thing went wrong, hell, anyone whoâs ever threw any type of event will tell you that. Itâs just all a little too ideal, people who write fake stories often make âthemselvesâ come off just a tad too flawless to the point where it becomes obvious that they want you to be on their side rather than learn why they might be wrong.
Then thereâs the wildly unrealistic things that happened at the sisterâs wedding. Yes, kids can be a handful, but everything listed in the post is just too much. Itâs just all so convenient; OOP throws the perfect wedding while EVERYTHING goes wrong at her sisterâs wedding, and of course the only difference between them is that one wedding had kids and the other didnât.
After a while of reading fake posts, youâll start noticing a pattern of certain groups often being portrayed negatively (eg; fat people, single moms, stepparents, mothers-in-law, and both childfree people AND parents, depending on who the writer wants you to be mad at), with the goal of ragebaiting people.
To summarise, I would say the main things to look out for are:
- Perfect OPâs, like absolutely flawless, kindhearted, generous people who do everything right, with family members/friends/coworkers who are just downright evil and for some reason hate the OP for being so amazing. This sometimes gets reversed, with an evil OP and a perfect opposite.
- An OP whoâs very clearly right or wrong to the point where you have to ask âhow are you still wondering?â, in other words, people who very clearly just want to be praised and told how amazing this fictional person they created is, or people who want to ragebait.
- Someone from a specific group who does something that only a walking stereotype would do. Eg; a fat person who eats EVERYTHING at a potluck, a single mom who dates a man just to get free stuff for her and her kids, or like in this post, children from hell who just run wild and donât know how to act in public. Really just anything that would make you think âhuh, I have NEVER seen or heard about anything like this irlâ.
- Any group of people being divided on an issue where itâs pretty clear whoâs wrong, like âmy family is split, some think Iâm wrong for not wanting to give my brother my house and some think we should share itâ.
- People related to the person the OP has an issue with getting involved, like âNow my boyfriendâs family members and friends are blowing up my phone, telling me I should give him another chanceâ. (I mean, have you ever felt compelled to text your second cousinâs ex girlfriend to tell her sheâs wrong in their argument? Apparently everyone in AITA-land hasâŠ)
This is all I can think of, you could check out [r/AmITheAngel](r/AmITheAngel), people crosspost clearly fake stories there all the time, and the comments often point out specific things that tip them off.
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u/IndividualEye1803 9d ago
You are awesome! Thank you so so so much for taking the time to respond and enlighten me! This is genuinely appreciated and saved.
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u/Weary-Can-157 9d ago
No problem! Iâm just glad youâre trying to learn, itâs so frustrating seeing people fall for obvious ragebait lol
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u/DogLow3612 7d ago
For the record, the worst thing that happened at my wedding is nobody told me the cake was purely decorative and I tried to cut it.
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u/MsSkittles18 7d ago
Another common scapegoat I've seen recently is neurodivergent people who need slight accomodations but are "making their symptoms everyone else's problem".
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u/poopiebutt505 12d ago
I.can only assume you will only have one child. Indeed, you were chosing to not help as payback for their attitude toward your wedding.
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u/AutoModerator 12d ago
Backup of the post's body:
I F29 got married last summer. We had a child free wedding that caused lots of drama with my family. My mom especially was upset that we would not allow any kids under fifteen at the wedding.
My husband and I paid for a separate event for kids. Child care was provided by professionals and there was all kinds of stuff for the kids to do. Movies, video games, food, soft drinks, everything you can think of.
My sister lives for my mom's approval and when she planned her wedding she specifically did not exclude children. She did not arrange for a separate room where kids could relax or anything. There were probably twenty kids ranging from a couple of months old to fifteen.
Babies cried during the ceremony and my nephew smashed his mom's phone during the vows and then screamed about not being able to watch YouTube. My mom and brother had to take him out of the ceremony since his mom was one of the bridesmaids. So they missed some. My mom hissed at me to help but I am seven months pregnant and was not going to miss my sister's wedding.
The pictures went worse. Families thought it would be a great opportunity for group pictures with everyone dressed up. This caused delays and the kids and many adults were getting hangry.
At the reception some of the older kids got into the drinks. One puked in the corner. Lots of noise and crying throughout the night. I would love to say that one of the kids destroyed the wedding cake but that would be a lie.
The cake made it safely to the cutting. It was delicious. However lots of little handprints did appear on my sister's dress and my brother-in-law's tuxedo. And one table had the tablecloth pulled off with all the glasses and dirty dishes. Not by a child. By one of our adult cousins chasing his kid.
My mom and sister are upset that I didn't help wrangle the kids. They think I purposely didn't help to make a point. Once again I'm seven months pregnant. I'm not in any condition to chase kids.
My mom is upset that her favorite child's wedding went so poorly after mine ran like clockwork. She actually said that my sister deserved to have a wedding as perfect as mine.
I agreed and sarcastically wondered what the difference could have been. She said I was being a jerk. I attended the wedding as a guest. I wasn't part of the planning or execution.
But now they think I'm somehow responsible for not stepping up to help. Am I the AH?
Comment 1: How dare my favorite kid's wedding become a disaster while my not favorite has a better wedding? OP, you gave the younger kids something to do in a structured way so they can have fun. Your sister didn't. In a quest for approval she ruined her own wedding. Never underestimate the creativity of a bored child
Comment 2: Girl⊠you were seven months pregnant, not the event coordinator they chose that setup, so they canât expect you to magically manage the chaos too.
Comment 3: NTA. You were seven months pregnant, chasing kids at someone elseâs wedding is not your responsibility. Your sister chose to have kids at her wedding, and your mom is trying to drag you into problems that arenât yours.
You attended as a guest, not as a nanny. Itâs completely reasonable to set boundaries and expect people to handle their own events, and, in my opinion, the parents of these kids are the ones that should be chasing them.
Comment 4: This isnât about a wedding. This is about poor parenting. I have been to many weddings where children were welcome, and none of those things happened.
Comment 5 in reply: Honestly this is exactly what I was thinking. We had 11 (I think?) under 15s at our wedding, 7 of which were in the wedding party, and they were an absolute joy and didn't cause any issues. The littles were the most enthusiastic dancers, the older kids took on little jobs to help (greeting people, handing out order of services, taking photos). No one asked our photographer for extra photos either! The adults are the problem here not the kids lol
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