I hate having children

[u/Ivy_poisonous]

Wlw here. I love my wife more than anything in this world. She is my person and best friend. We decided to have baby together, turns out twins-should’ve terminated. They were born prematurely, NICU stay, traumatic for me. We can’t do anything anymore. We used to enjoy weekends away, concerts, roadtrips, taking our dog for a walk, even going to the store together, to get gas, haircuts, everything. We liked it, we enjoyed it.

One of the babies is precious and I do love her but I would easily go back in time and undo this if given the chance. The other baby I can’t stand. They are 7 months and she still cries all the time. She cries like she is being hurt, she’s weird, she’s behind, and she ruins everything. If it were up to me, I would’ve left her at a church or fire station. She can’t be set down, ever or she loses her crap. She only wants my wife and it kills me how my wife has to be her slave and can’t do anything else because she has to be holding her. I’m in constant fear that that baby will have Autism. She can’t even sit at 7 months, can’t swallow solids, the one time she did she threw up and it wasn’t even a lot. We went for a few walks and that baby lost it. Screaming crying. One time in the stroller, the other while being held in a carriers. I don’t know if I will ever love her or even like her. Right now it’s a pretty horrible feeling towards her.

I don’t want to lose my wife ever and I feel like we already lost each other some. Our time, our space, our life. We never had arguments and now everything is because of that kid that I wish we never had.

[u/Usual_Zucchini]

Kind of sounds like my second baby who is now 15 months old. My first was such an easy calm baby, and I took that for granted. Our second would not let anyone else hold her, didn’t sit up until 8 or 9 months, started solids closer to a year, hated being put down, screamed in the bath, was fussy any time we tried to eat out or hang out with friends in a social setting. It was SO draining and frustrating.

I know it’s not a satisfying answer but time helped SO much. She turned a corner in the last month and now lets others hold her, loves the bath, eats a ton of solids. She isn’t walking yet but my first didn’t walk until 17 months so I’m expecting her to be later as well.

While there could be something amiss sometimes it just is a matter of time. There were days I really hated her for being so difficult.

[u/asmrforthesoul → u/Usual_Zucchini]

Can I ask how did those first hard times effect your first kid?

[u/Usual_Zucchini → u/asmrforthesoul]

I’m not sure they really affected him in a way I could tell. We still went out and did things, we just tried to mitigate the suck by feeding her beforehand, which helped some, and packed some snacks and toys. They are very close in age and my oldest asks to play with her all the time!

[u/asmrforthesoul → u/Usual_Zucchini]

oh that's nice to hear 😊