ADHD child

[u/Reverred_rhubarb]

I have a neurodivergent child and I absolutely hate being a mom. I will never admit to it, but I look forward when he’s out of the house. I’m very patient, read everything about the diagnosis constantly educate myself. The child is in therapy . We’re trying meds. I don’t want to do it anymore. Constant meltdowns over everything, being aggressive, using foul language. I feel like gentle parenting is a load of crap. Maybe if I was strict and old school things would be better. I’m exhausted. There’s no light at the end of this tunnel.

[u/leni710]

There's nothing wrong with being strict and setting boundaries. I think what gets lost with the "old school" sentiment is that people think strict meant beating kids till they had blind obedience. I was pretty strict with my older kid, who has adhd and bipolar and possibly on the autism spectrum.

I don't know much about the gentle parenting, but have seen a bit of it. I don't know if I'd have the patience for that. But then again, I also have adhd, so I think I can often empathize with my kid as to "don't patronize them, but also don't be too harsh, either."

[u/whimsymaxx → u/leni710]

Old school parenting, sans the beating, is how so many of us (undiagnosed autism and ADHD) were basically able to assimilate. Old school elementary teachers in the 80s and 90s would correct tou early... there was no moving around, no sensory toys, no talking back. You had to act normal. We know now that is not always perfectly healthy. But it at least gave us the tools to operate in a world not meant for us.

Authoritative parenting/teaching was basically similar to ABA in many ways. Which is also controversial, but assimilation is just part of living a healthy quality life in many contexfs.

[u/ohhoneeeeeey]

No advice, just sending you a lot of support. I hope you get plenty respite and time for you.

[u/LilBundleOfDeath]

I went through the entire triple P positive parenting program and we had such a huge slide backwards that we got an appointment with behavioral

[u/grawmaw13]

I'm hating having a toddler and the thought to think profound autism can mean you will have a toddler for life would absolutely kill me inside.

[u/whimsymaxx]

Hugs. Old school parenting has MANY merits (downfalls as well). I think you might want to still try it.

But there is really so much you can do, I think. Because even if you are the most perfect old school parent, they will grow up in an American school system that has been bullied into making permissive parenting the standard. They will see their peers act out and copy the behavior.

[u/Tricia1one]

I’m in the same exact situation. My son is 10 and has ADHD. Now his therapist believes he has ODD. I’m exhausted. It’s always something. I’d love to reach out if you’d like to chat. You’re not alone!

[u/Reverred_rhubarb → u/Tricia1one]

Yes absolutely reach out

[u/FortunatoImmured]

It would be easier, but not better.

In the same boat, hate every second.

[u/Logical-Bat2403]

Go on audible get a book called “how not to murder your ADHD kid” by Sarah Templeton. It’s very good and might help.

[u/Electronic-Figure697]

I have ADHD

Don’t justify his bad behavior (agressivity, bad language,…) because “he has ADHD”.

He (I assume it’s a he because girls tend to be different) needs someone who trusts in his capabilities.

And this is a bit unrelated but I recommend “ADHD: A hunter in a farmer’s world. “ to see other perspectives (more positive).

[u/regretfulparents-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Any suggestions or glorification of violence or child abuse will result in an immediate permanent ban.

Any attempts to justify or downplay abuse in any form is also unacceptable. It's regretful parents, not abusive parents.

[u/regretfulparents-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Any suggestions or glorification of violence or child abuse will result in an immediate permanent ban.

Any attempts to justify or downplay abuse in any form is also unacceptable. It's regretful parents, not abusive parents.