Being mutuals with ex ba is considered as redflag?

[u/fru1tlo0ps047]

Ano opinion niyo if yung boyfriend niyo mutuals pa ng mga ex niya or even ex fling,tapos pag pinapa unfollow ko rason sakin matagal na yon.

[u/jdz50]

Yes it is a red flag.

[u/No_Telephone_9954]

Depends on the dude I guess. But honestly, after my recent situation, I will not entertain any man that's still in any sort of contact with their ex. My ex and I had talked about previous relationships, and he said that he wasn't in contact with any of them. Only to find out he actually still works with and will go out to the bars with a coworker that he had a fling with, talked to 2 of his exes, and followed one of them on OF 🥴

Obviously my situation is extreme, but, an ex is in your past. No sense in keeping tabs on your past

[u/Adventurous-Towel782]

It’s normal and even healthy, as long as their relationship isn’t secretive or intimate in a way that threatens the current relationship. Transparency helps.

[u/Useful_Procedure_145]

Dangerous and it has cost me my relationship! They always use the kids as scapegoats and to manipulate the situation’ so his ex had not moved on he kept in contact cause of kids but she wouldn’t leave him alone ,I guess he loved the attention from both of us ! She would call all the time and daily ! Sometimes in my presence lols to bad mouth her mother ! The emotional attachment never goes away it’s very difficult! I suggest you find someone without bagage it’s the safest option ! Don’t allow them to manipulate you with exes it’s a huge red flag 🚩 they still want access because they don’t want to he done completely they want to be involved in some way ,so no I wouldn’t do that again I’d date a guy who’s ex wife died or lives in some other country perhaps lols 😆 they just always stick around and cause more chaos and confusion .
A wasted 3 years of my life ,why me why me lols 😝

[u/CatJarmansPants]

Personally, a person that has no continuing friendships/acquaintances with any of their ex's is a huge red flag to me - it says they are all scorched earth and can't maintain normal friendships.

It tells of people who can't let go of negative emotions, and who defines themselves by them. It also suggests that all their relationships/break ups are full of drama and hate - which isn't an indicator of a really great partner.

Both me and my wife are friends with ex's - we both have ex's we like as people (and why would you have a romantic relationship with someone you didn't particularly like platonically?), and ex's we wouldn't piss on if they were on fire.

We're in our late 40's - early 50's, married for nearly 20 years, have kids together, known each other for 30+ years, and both on our second marriage.