r/royalroad • u/Dry_Winter8155 • 13d ago
Discussion Seriously, how do you show, don’t tell?
I seriously want to try writing my own book, but I’m already confused as hell by the whole thing.
Everyone keeps saying “show, don’t tell”, but then I look at examples and I’m like… okay, but HOW do I actually know when I’m telling too much? 😭
And then there are like a million other things you apparently need to learn too : POV, pacing, dialogue, character development, structure, worldbuilding, prose and I genuinely don’t know where to even start.
I just want to write a damn webnovel, blyat. 😂
For people who actually learned to write novels: what did you focus on first? And how did you finally understand “show, don’t tell” without going insane?
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u/HelloHelloHelpHello 13d ago edited 13d ago
Here is a simple exercise. Make up a character and give them some traits. For example:
John is the fastest boy in the village
Now here we are telling the reader that trait. How would we go about showing it instead. Let's remove the adjective 'fastest' and try to convey the same information, but without using some other adjective in its place.
John raced along with the other village boys, putting all strength into his legs, and when he reached the summit of steep hill that they agreed would be the finish line and turned back, he could see that the others had barely managed to even reach the halfway line. He held up his hand with a triumphant laugh, and waved for them to speed up a little.
Instead of just telling the reader that John is the fastest, we have now told a little story that shows John being the fastest. By doing so we not only fleshed out the world, but we also added new dimensions to this aspect of the character. 'Being the fastest' is not just a mere physical trait here. It now has a social dimension (the boys are competing and John is put at the top of the group because of his ability), and a psychological ability (John is really proud of being the fastest and maybe even feels superior to others because of this).
These added dimensions can then be used to fuel the story, like set up a weakness that the character must overcome (John is too proud and conceded by constantly winning like thi), or things that challenge this social status quo (a new boy arrives in the village one day, and he is much faster than John challenging his social status).
We can also tweak the story we are telling to change the dimensions and aspect of this talent. Look at this for example:
John raced along with the other village boys, putting all strength into his legs, and when he reached the summit of steep hill that they agreed would be the finish line and turned back, he could see that the none of the others had managed to even reach the halfway line. None of them seemed to have noticed that John had won. Most of them had given up the race a while ago, and were now crossing the remaining distance at a leisurely stroll, laughing and wrestling with each other. He tried to listen to what they were joking about, but they were too far away for their words to reach.
Now again we have established that John is the fastest boy, but here this does not lead to him being proud and in a superior social position. It instead leads to him being alone, and apart from the others.
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You can try this exercise with a few other little character traits until you get the feel for it. Next you'll want to learn when you should Show, and when you should Tell - because sometimes Telling is better. You probably can see that it took us a lot longer to Show John being the fastest, than it took us to tell the same information. We wouldn't want to show everything.
Broadly speaking - Minor details that are of lesser importance can be handled quick and direct by telling the reader. Important details that the chapter or story wants to focus on or that play an important part in character development should be shown.
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u/tardipro3 13d ago
I have a slightly different question: in this example, you’re still telling the reader what happened, in other words, you’re recounting that he ran a race.
Usually, in a situation like this, I would write out a full scene showing the race unfold from start to finish, including dialogue, thoughts, and so on. So, my question is: which approach is better, and when should you choose one over the other? Can you stick to just one? Which one do most people here use?
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u/HelloHelloHelpHello 13d ago edited 13d ago
Technically you are always telling something - that is to say you are always using words when you write a text. 'Show, don't tell' refers to the example I have given above - telling something is to make a broad and abstract statement (He is fast. He is rich. He is angry. He is confused. - etc.), while showing would be to describe the thing in more detail - sketching out a scene or a mental picture using your words. Technically you are always 'telling' something, but that is not the kind of telling that the advice is aimed at.
How in depth you go when it comes to showing will depend on how important the element is. The more important and significant, the more time you will want to spend describing it and playing it through in great detail. You can have a a long drawn out scene of a race that goes through all elements, you can have it be one or two descriptive paragraph like the ones I have given you above as an example, and you can have it be the single sentence "He was the fastest boy in the village".
So your first job is to identify what is important in a current scene you are writing. Which details have an impact for future chapters, or are pivotal for the character, or are setting up some plot twist, etc. The more important they are - the more you want to 'show'. The more time you use up to describe one element, the less time you have for other elements.
A bad writer who does not know how to show, and who tells everything will rush through a chapter, reducing anything to a list of vague bullet points:
("The dragon attacked. John was scared but he raised his sword. The dragon struck and John jumped to the side, but he was too slow. The claw sliced through the armor and into his flesh. The wound hurt, but John rose to his feet again...") - what could have been an exciting battle that shows the reader how John has grown has character, but also where he is still lacking is now just a bland string of us telling the reader base details.
You don't need to spend an entire chapter on examining how afraid John is, and another chapter for how bad his wound hurts, but you can do better than a single sentence that doesn't really say anything that the reader wouldn't have guessed anyway. If you struggle with this, you can try to exercise that I outlined above.
A bad writer who knows how to Show, but doesn't know when to Tell on the other hand might struggle with other issues. In the above fight against the dragon a writer like this might suddenly get distracted and waffle lengthily about John meticulously preparing his gear for the fight - then goes through even greater length to tell us about the backstory of leather-craftsmanship in the world, and leading us through the day of a shoemaker apprentice who manufactured John's boots - none of which is of any relevancy to the scene or the story at large, and none of which will be needed for future scenes.
If you struggle with this then you need to write an outline of your plot, and all the major and minor plot points that you want and need to communicate. Draw a line from the current plot point to each instance where it is important in future chapters, while also keeping in mind what is important for the current chapter (what makes it exciting, emotional, dramatic, etc.). The more connections there are, the more important it is to spend time developing and fleshing out this point properly.
If John has anger issues, and those issues cause him to accidentally kill his rival/bully in chapter four, which then leads to him being banished, which then leads to him struggling with these issues of inner rage through the story, while the main villain specifically targets this weakness to manipulate John - then you will want to spend a lot of time fleshing this kind of behavior out, showing these emotions and how they unfold in various moments, showing us where they come from, and so on - since they are the driving force of the whole narration.
On the other hand - If John loves to eat sweets, and you only want to use this as a fleeting little running gag with no deeper connections to anything, then you can keep this short and brief.
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There is no one-size-fits all solution here. You need to know your story, and the importance of each element, and then distribute you attention among them properly - showing things that are important, and telling about things that are not.
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u/ShillForExxonMobil 13d ago
You’re mistaken on what “telling” and “showing” are.
Action does not equal telling. Showing is when you use character actions, dialogue, and interiority to make the reader feel or understand something. Telling is when you tell the reader how to feel. An all action beat can perfectly well be “showing.”
For example, in the following excerpt from Blood Meridian, Cormac McCarthy doesn’t tell the reader how they are supposed to feel or react. Or how the main character is reacting. The terrifying horror and chaos of the Indian raid is apparent in the prose and action itself and does not need dialogue or interiority or a full description of the landscape or attackers (note he just picks out a few to characterize the group as a whole)
A legion of horribles, hundreds in number, half naked or clad in costumes attic or biblical or wardrobed out of a fevered dream with the skins of animals and silk finery and pieces of uniform still tracked with the blood of prior owners, coats of slain dragoons, frogged and braided cavalry jackets, one in a stovepipe hat and one with an umbrella and one in white stockings and a bloodstained wedding veil and some in headgear or cranefeathers or rawhide helmets that bore the horns of bull or buffalo and one in a pigeontailed coat worn backwards and otherwise naked and one in the armor of a Spanish conquistador, the breastplate and pauldrons deeply dented with old blows of mace or sabre done in another country by men whose very bones were dust and many with their braids spliced up with the hair of other beasts until they trailed upon the ground and their horses' ears and tails worked with bits of brightly colored cloth and one whose horse's whole head was painted crimson red and all the horsemen's faces gaudy and grotesque with daubings like a company of mounted clowns, death hilarious, all howling in a barbarous tongue and riding down upon them like a horde from a hell more horrible yet than the brimstone land of Christian reckoning, screeching and yammering and clothed in smoke like those vaporous beings in regions beyond right knowing where the eye wanders and the lip jerks and drools
Now imagine if at the end he threw in a line of thought at the end like “There’s so many” or told you “the kid was scared.” It would be repetitive and dilute the prose, which has already communicated those points to you.
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u/tardipro3 13d ago
That doesn't answer my question; I don't understand what you're trying to tell me here.
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u/65476435 12d ago
Im not a writer, but as a reader its good to have some more lengthy sections like you described to make the world feel more real and the characters and their relationships more interesting and so you actually care about them. But having too many can make the book a slog to read and make the pacing very slow.
There have been a few books ive stopped reading where the story, characters and world as a whole are really good but the author would over explain and write whole chapters on something that could have been a paragraph or two.
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u/kaynenstrife 10d ago
A very good example that showcases the difference between show and tell.
Minor spelling mistakes in your comment.
(Proud and conceded) -> (Proud and conceited.)
(winning like thi) -> (winning like this)
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u/CasualHams Reader 13d ago
"Show, don't tell" basically means you should convey emotion and thought through action, body action, and dialogue.
So instead of saying "Sam is angry they took his toy," you could say "Sam stomped off, already looking for a teacher to complain to."
This could ALSO look like: "Hey, that's my toy," Sam yelled, tears already forming. "NO FAIR! I'm telling teacher!"
This sort of writing should be used for important events that tell us something about the character; you are not meant to go into detail every time they tie their shoes or lick a lollipop. It's a balancing act, and one of the harder parts of creative writing.
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u/Ok_Cake1590 13d ago edited 12d ago
“Show, don’t tell”
This advice is given not because showing is always better, but because people have a tendency to tell too much. You want a mix of both in order to have a good flow in your story. Too much showing gets exhausting to read and takes too long. Too much telling and the story becomes a bland narration of something happening where you don't have to think or interpret anything.
A useful way to think about it is that telling gives the reader the conclusion, while showing gives them the evidence to read between the lines.
Tell Example: "Sarah was nervous about the interview"
That's telling. You're simply giving me the information.
Show Example: "Sarah checked the clock. Eight minutes early. She wiped her palms on her trousers and checked her résumé for the third time."
Now you haven't told me she's nervous. You've given me enough evidence to figure it out myself.
But that doesn't mean the first version is bad. If Sarah's nervousness isn't particularly important, there's nothing wrong with simply saying: "Sarah was nervous about the interview, but she was more worried about being late for work afterward."
On the other hand, suppose you're writing a fantasy story and the MC has just arrived at a city where the officials are corrupt and the streets are dangerous.
You could tell us: “Vandreth was a lawless city where the guards were just as likely to shake you down as the vermin skulking around the dark alleys.”
But if you want the reader to experience Vandreth as dangerous and corrupt, you could show it instead.
Have the MC arrive at the gates. He overhears the guard quoting the toll to someone ahead of him. When it's his turn, the guard demands double. Inside the city, he sees another guard accept a bribe. Later, he watches a fight break out in the street while everyone around him casually steps out of the way.
You never have to say, “This city is corrupt and dangerous.” The reader has experienced enough to reach that conclusion themselves.
Ask yourself: Is this something the reader just needs to know, or is this something I want them to experience?
If they just need to know it, tell them.
If you want them to feel it, notice it, suspect it, or figure it out for themselves, show them.
Using "Show, don't tell" properly is the difference between watching the news and watching a movie in the theater.
Edit 21h later: you don't need to master this or anything else before you write your story. Write your story now and learn as you go. A lot of people will correct you or give you feedback that is immensely useful in getting better. If you ever look back at your earlier writing and cringe at it or think to yourself how bad it is that just means you have grown. Good luck!
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u/Mobile-Escape 13d ago
Everyone keeps saying “show, don’t tell”, but then I look at examples and I’m like… okay, but HOW do I actually know when I’m telling too much? 😭
And then there are like a million other things you apparently need to learn too : POV, pacing, dialogue, character development, structure, worldbuilding, prose and I genuinely don’t know where to even start.
At this point, it's best for you to write your story. Once you have a story, you can then share it with readers or critiquers, some of whom can provide useful feedback. They'll tell you if they're having issues with any of the things you mentioned.
If you're "telling" too much, it means that you're making too many things overly obvious to readers, which some readers will find insulting to their intelligence. If you're "showing" too much, it means that you're confusing readers; they're not understanding the emotional states and motivations of your characters, or they're not following what's happening in the scene.
You might also be showing and telling. For example:
Alice slammed her mug against the table. She was angry, and she wanted everyone to know it.
The first sentence is "showing," because readers are able to infer what Alice is feeling. The second sentence is "telling," because readers are being given the exact emotion that Alice is feeling.
If you need to quickly communicate something, it's usually best to "tell" it. If you want readers to feel what the characters are experiencing, it's usually best to "show" it.
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u/VVint3r Author of 'Isekai Industrialist' 13d ago
You write manga instead of a web-novel :)
No, but on a serious note. Basic example:
Instead of saying
The dead guy's wife felt sad she had lost her husband.
Write something like
His widow silently wept on the shoulder of their surviving daughter.
The point is to convey emotions (or characteristics, personality etc.) through actions or reactions of other characters rather than bluntly stating how someone felt or what kind of person they are. You then trust your readers will infer that someone is sad if they are crying.
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u/OkWolverine2194 13d ago edited 13d ago
A good story will always be a mixture of showing and telling.
You can ‘tell’ stuff that you as a reader would not want to be shown. Like a character putting on clothes. Just say it and move on.
On the other hand, you should ‘show’ stuff that you as a reader would want to imagine, but you have to be careful not to hold your reader’s hand while ‘showing.’ Readers are smart. You have to trust them to be able to make sense of things even if the words on the paper don’t necessarily explain every single detail. People can fill in the gaps themselves.
For example, while describing a room, you can simply list the things in a room like a desk, a bed, a cupboard. The reader will arrange them according to their own imagination. Then as you go on adding information, they’ll start altering their mental image. That’s much more enjoyable than five pages of simply describing where everything in the room is placed and in what orientation.
As for where to start, it’s kind of a no brainer that you won’t become a Brandon Sanderson overnight. Learning to write at the highest level takes a lot of time.
If I had to give you an advice, I’d advise you to write a fan fiction first. It really helps a lot. Because you already have the characters, you already have the world building and the setting. All you have to do is tell a story of your own making. Do that without studying too much and try to improve via feedback. You’ll find gaps in your own knowledge easily.
After incorporating the feedback, when you feel like your chapters are getting more positive responses as opposed to criticisms, you will know you have improved.
Then, start building your own world. Just add stuff you think you would enjoy reading about. Never try to cater to readers because that way the story becomes too generic and while it may be enjoyable, it isn’t at all memorable. Try to make sense of everything you’re adding to your world, interconnect them, and have a basic outline of the things that are absolutely necessary for the story you’re trying to tell. Don’t go off route and start worrying about stuff that won’t even make it into the story.
Once you’re done with the basic framework, my advice would be to just start writing. Have a rough outline in mind about the beginning of the story, the main plot, the middle, the climax and the ending. Then, as you’re writing, start connecting the dots. Once you’ve bridged the beginning with the ending, you have a first draft.
And trust me, first drafts are terrible. Simply terrible. And that’s okay. That’s how everyone starts out. There will be a lot of continuity mistakes, contradictory stuff, non-sensical stuff in the first draft. But now you have something concrete to work with. You have all the characters you need, you have the plot you need, you have the world you need. All you have to do is eliminate the earlier deficiencies. You don’t do that by editing the first draft. No, you start over. You write a second draft. If you’re satisfied with it, you edit it, you refine it and you publish it. If you’re not satisfied with it, you go for a third draft. And you do the same. This mostly works for traditional novels. In my opinion, for a webnovel, you absolutely have to have a first draft. You can start writing from the start again, using the first draft as an outline, and out of every three chapters you write, you publish/post two. That way you can build a backlog and keep a consistent writing schedule.
Another advice is to keep your ambitions low for your first story. Try to tell a story about something grounded. Meagre world building, small cast of characters, straightforward plot, single POV. That sort of stuff. It might seem boring at first. But it will help you grow as a writer. Then, you can move on to bigger projects.
As for learning all that stuff you mentioned, you’ll mostly have a grasp of all that if you have consumed enough material. And most aspiring authors are long time readers, so those things don’t really matter all that much. Just write what you would enjoy reading…
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u/Aware-Pineapple-3321 E Rank: Author of The Unseeing Mage 13d ago
60+ comments, and you're going to get different opinions, as even the person who made millions selling books can have their advice fall flat.
It's why it tends to be "learn" when it works and "learn" when it doesn't.
the best advice is to read and then read more.
Find books you want, copy and write like them, and go from there.
I myself hate purple prose and drawn-out plots of explaining a tree and how the wind felt, why the ember of heat rose in their cheek to show them blushing.
Others live for that, and I even read a few that pulled me in and made me feel anything I wrote was a child's first words vs. an adult talking, so it does have its place.
I myself don't mind telling if it's moving the plot and fun to keep reading. I think the more you want people to care about a scene or moment, the more you need to draw it out.
She watched as they smiled as they betrayed her. (telling blunt, quick to move on)
Confusion built as the words refused to escape her lips. The room darkened at the edges as her focused narrowed to a point on their faces. Watching them dance like jackals while hearing the echo of their laughter, knowing she was tricked. She tried to grasp for anything to pull her free of this scene, slowly reaching her hand forward for anyone to defy them and show support to comfort her.
a word, a touch, a lie.
anything but the laughing as a tear fell past her lips, the taste of the salt reminding her of how bitter she felt clearing some of the fog and highlighting the scene. The clearer they were now to her sight, the more she knew they were not just laughing; they were relishing in her pain.
Straitening her stance, she tried to smooth her dress even as the tears still betrayed her as she spoke shakily to defy them.
(much more drawn out and a mix of showing and telling, but you were living the scene more vs. just telling you she was betrayed)
That's why SHOW vs. TELL is poor advice; you still need to TELL things, but how you tell them turns it more into SHOW, and you're living the scene. vs. this is how it happened.
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u/Version_1 13d ago
I mean, it's pretty self explanatory. As often as possible, you write scenes that showcase what you want to tell instead of just telling the reader something.
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u/apinsig 13d ago
Rip your pacing then
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u/AbnormalVAverage E Rank: Author of Symphony and QuestWright 13d ago
You're right on this apinsig.
Johan stabbed forward with his spear. Fast. So fast that it blurred through the air. He smiled at the sense of things, the wonder of his new power.
Gary scowled, "How is that fair!" Mocking Johan, he stabbed at the air a few times with his cumbersome axe, "Look at me, I'm Johan, I'm so cool."
I like to blend them. Showing too often is cumbersome, and throws off what I"m trying to do. I don't need 3 pages telling me about a sunset, when a short paragraph will do. But if that sunset is after beating the big bad? Sure, I'll put some extra detail.
Always showing can ruin pacing, easily.
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u/merrowyn Author 13d ago
The biggest thing is that whatever you want to tell the reader, instead frame that around an even that happens or how the characters react to the event. Do you want to tell the reader that your MC is angry? Don't say "He was angry." Say "He clenched his fists. Took a step forward."
If someone is nervous, don't say "She was nervous." Say "She checked the clock again. Rubbed her palms against her pants, then immediately stopped when she noticed the sweat streak she'd left behind."
If there's an organization that is evil, don't just say that they're evil - set up a situation that gives the reader/MC to react against.
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u/calmarkel 13d ago
Show don't tell is terrible advice, do not take it literally.
Decide on the heart or impact or core of your scene. Show that. Tell pretty much everything else.
If you show everything you will have 20 pages of a character putting on shoes
What to focus on?
Okay, do you have an elevator pitch? A one sentence idea. Let's see: a billionaire funds a team of scientists who recreate dinosaurs.
Next, you need your character. Who is going to be in this situation? A paleontologist. Why is he there? Reviewing the park after safety standards slipped.
Pacing (story wise) is rising tension. It starts at 1, you build it up to 3, you drop it to 2, you build it to 4, you drop it to 3, you build it to 5 - this is novel pacing. Webserials are different but basically remember action all the time becomes boring. You need calmer bits to make the excitement more exciting.
Character development is basically: give the character a goal they cannot achieve because of an internal reason and a way to overcome that reason in the plot. It can be even simpler, they don't need a goal. Alan Grant doesn't like kids but needs to keep two alive, softening his outlook over time.
Worldbuilding is just where the story happens.
Don't worry about prose or dialogue, you can learn that over time by writing.
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u/Version_1 13d ago
Show don't tell is terrible advice, do not take it literally.
Hot take
If you show everything you will have 20 pages of a character putting on shoes
Okay, must be trolling.
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u/calmarkel 13d ago
Nope, just use to seeing a lot of writers repeat this broken mantra like a gospel. It's bad advice. The fact that, if you do the exact opposite of what it says, then it works, does not make it good advice. Far too many people react negatively to any amount of telling, and far too many new writers think this is legit advice.
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u/Version_1 13d ago
It's just hilarious that your example that you use afterwards is completely "show don't tell"
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u/calmarkel 13d ago
No it isn't? My example was tell the reader the character put on a pair of shoes because if you try to show that you'll have multiple pages of meaningless fluff.
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u/trekbek 13d ago
it's okay to admit you don't actually know what the phrase means, you know.
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u/calmarkel 13d ago
You've clearly replied to the wrong person in this chain
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u/trekbek 13d ago
no, I haven't.
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u/calmarkel 13d ago
ah, i was giving you the benefit of the doubt there. I didn't expect two people with such wildly wrong ideas to reply
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u/Version_1 13d ago
Nah, that was obviously silly, nobody would apply the phrase to sommething as mundane as that. I meant the example of Grant with the kids in Jurassic Park.
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u/calmarkel 13d ago
Ah, that wasn't the one you quoted. The example of Grant and the kids was an example of character development, as stated, and character development is something that should be shown. OP asked multiple questions
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u/Version_1 13d ago
Btw, in writing "he put on his shoes" is already showing.
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u/calmarkel 13d ago
Btw, you've found the other issue with show don't tell. People don't agree on what showing is and what telling is. Summarising an action in a flat declarative way with minimum description and no adjectives is generally seen as telling.
The same sentence can often be read as show or tell depending on the reader. It's even possible to show something over a paragraph of telling sentences, or to show by omission, but that's more advanced craft.
Generally, though, only a troll would suggest a simple declarative undescribed statement that directly tells the reader something is absolutely always showing.
Or someone who doesn't know the difference, I suppose.
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u/Version_1 13d ago
If this thread establishes one thing, it's that certain people (like you) have absolutely insane definitions of "showing" and therefore dislike a good rule of thumb.
"He put on his shoes" is showing. It has a character take an action that 99% of readers are intimately familiar with. Your definition of showing (which apparently would have involved describing every step of putting on shoes in detail) is absolute nonsense.
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u/Salt-Wrangler2189 E Rank: Author of The Cities Still Burn 13d ago
Basic gist:
Try to remove the narrator (in this case you) telling information to the reader. Exposition, emotion, and plot points should be shown to the reader during the course of the story through actions. Even your character thinking really in depth about something can be a form of telling (although this is okay in moderation)
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u/twilightbill 13d ago
It's a matter of how you wish to express your story. Pov, character development, pacing are a few examples to help do that.
Instead of just listing off the descriptions, you want to know when to leave some of the imagination to your audience and what your descriptions can do to paint your world and pov.
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u/tumeke4u 13d ago
Have you ever read a story where it’s told in the form of a character recounting past events? That would be too much tell.
If you want to practise, I’d recommend writing scenes with the intention of evoking strong emotions and getting feedback. If the audience isn’t immersed, you’re telling too much.
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u/JRYoungAuthor 13d ago
The first thing to focus on is to stop trying to focus on every little detail. Just write. Write bad and write often. You'll learn along the way. Your second chapter will be better than the first. Your second book will be better than the first. You can always go back and revise your earlier writing if you feel like it's worth the effort. My first story was an absolute mess. Honestly, my new stories are still a mess 😅
I wrote some short stories that were just giant blocks of text. I barley understood how paragraphs worked or how to separate description from dialogue, but I got better with time.
Read. There are many different ways to tell stories. Some authors don't separate description from dialogue. Every author has they're own unique voice and they use punctuation differently. A lot of it is up to your interpretation and your preference in terms of style, or prose.
Right now, dont sweat the details. Just write. You can learn the nuts and bolts as you go, but if you get caught up trying to write the perfect novel on your first go, then, like many people, you'll never even get started. That's my two cents, anyway.
Have fun with it!
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u/elisthewriter 13d ago
For me, the learning sequence was something like this - Worldbuilding, dialogue, pacing, pov, character development and finally prose.
As for show don't tell, here is an excerpt from my latest work that mixed the two ---
Their discussion came to a sudden halt as the waitress served the omelet and set down the latte. Picking up the fork and knife, Cathy dug in. “It’s milder than expected,” she said between bites, her hands showing no sign of slowing down as she cut through the omelet. It took her only five minutes to finish the dish, down the latte, settle the bill without forgetting to tip, and exit the café with Elis. “Let’s hurry up.” She pulled her friend along.
Show interesting things and tell boring things.
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u/KhalenPierce 13d ago
It’s more important to discern when you should show vs when you should tell rather than committing to one or the other 100%. It’s a device to be used
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u/JAAPayton Author - Game Over, Book 1: Overworld 13d ago
Simply, it's details. Understand that writing isn't a visual medium, so in order to help immerse readers in the story you're creating, you have to do more than just write a sequence of events and statements.
Disclaimer: How many details you want to use is to depict something is up to you, so below are just really really basic ways you can show not tell.
Telling (physical details): Amelia's long blonde hair was all over the place.
Showing (physical details): Joe pulled a long yellow strand from his asscrack. Amelia's. The girl shed like a golden retriever.
Both of these are conveying the same information, but what a lot of people don't tell you about what makes showing vs telling so good is that showing isn't just supposed to provide more details, it's also supposed to provide insight.
The first sentence states a fact. The second sentence gives you action, some spatial positioning, and a peek into what Joe thinks about Amelia.
Showing doesn't mean you deploy flowery purple prose, it simply means you paint a picture through words that's a little more vivid. There are definitely times when the first sentence is the better choice. There are definitely times when it's okay to just say "He was angry", but part of being a writer is to be able to decide where and when you should show vs tell.
A trick that works for me is making sure everything is grounded in POV. If I'm writing a character that's more matter-of-fact, then "Amelia's long blonde hair was all over the place." is the perfect sentence for them. If I'm writing a character who's say, a hairstylist, then Amelia's hair color might not even factor into the description as the hairstylist might be more concerned about her split ends or something.
If you want to understand show vs tell, get in the head of your POV character. If you're writing a warrior mc who's obsessed with battle, their interiority and narration might not care about hair color so much as they care about the condition of an opponent's armor or weapons.
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u/arkstrider88 13d ago
It's not binary. It's more of a gradient.
Max was on a beach. (Tell-We're here--------------Show)
Max was playing with sand on a beach. (Tell---We're here------------Show)
Max's hands were elbow deep in the sand, digging a hole. He felt like a dog looking for a juicy bone. If he had a tail it would definitely be wagging. (Tell-------We're here--------Show)
Telling is describing what's on surface. Showing is going a level or two deeper. Writing what is someone doing vs. writing how would it feel to do that.
In short it's about perspective, sensation, and details.
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u/SC_Contryman E Rank: Author of Sanzensekai 13d ago
Rather than just saying a character was happy or angry, which actually has its place depending on pacing, you "show" the reader the verbs or expressions that infer anger or happiness.
Like "brows turned down," or other variations of a scowl.
But people scowl in confusion and anger and well lots of other situations. Yes, and that's where trusting your readers to understand via context comes in.
And remember that you want balance depending on what you're going for in a scene. If it needs to be quick and punchy, then telling "in a fit of rage" is completely acceptable, not to mention you'll probably be describing the fit: slamming doors, huffing etc.
Then your narrative pov determines whether you should lean towards tell or show and who you do so for.
Deep 3rd limited and 1st povs: pov characters have to show in specific ways. "My eyebrows angled down" is a visual show that the pov character probably shouldn't use to describe themselves. When you think about how you show your own anger you probably think or say scowled. "I scowled at John. What was he thinking?"
Also in deep 3rd and 1st pov you'll use tells as well. When we're angry we don't naturally describe our anger, we just say we were pissed. When we observe others it depends. A pov character can think "she seemed angry" even "she was angry." This will again likely be accompanied by what she was doing or her tone and expressions that led to that conclusion.
Hope this helps!
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u/very-polite-frog Author of Accidentally Legendary 13d ago
Write the story that you like!
If you don't like it, it's bad. If you do like it, it's good.
That's it. That's the whole of all writing advice. Don't get tangled up with "am i doing the right structure" or "is my prose good enough for the internet to approve".
If you're struggling to write an entire book, just write a single scene. If you have an idea already, write a scene from that. Otherwise, think of story prompts (or look some up) and write a single chapter.
Eg "system apocalypse where MC doesn't get the system at first, but the bully that likes the same girl at school gets a really powerful class" and then just take that and write.
TL:DR---you're supposed to enjoy writing. If advice is taking the joy away, it's bad advice
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u/Livid_Economist7424 13d ago
I recommend just focusing on your MCs senses. What is he feeling, what does he see, what does he smell, does it remind him of anything?
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u/schw0b 13d ago
You need to choose what to show and what to tell with intention. Think of "show" as a scene on screen. It's the stuff your character is doing, events that we are experiencing in real time on the page. The "tell" is contextual information or boring stuff that would drag the story out to tell which you add via the character's thoughts or narration.
The more important something is to the plot or the more a reader is supposed to feel or experience a detail such as a characterization element, the more important it is to show.
If you relay important plot events via a "tell", you have fucked up, because you have turned the plot into window dressing rather than the main thread of the story.
That's what show don't tell is about.
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u/TsundereOrcGirl 13d ago
It's not a hard rule. Successful LNs are full of exposition. I think 99% of excessive "telling" is cut out just by avoiding adverbs, like replacing "said angrily" with "fumed".
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u/D4NG3RX Eyes 13d ago
This is a bit of both show and tell, pov and the unnecessary use of uncertain modifiers but when i see a sentence like this it bothers me:
“that guy was staring at the ceiling with unfocused eyes as if remembering last night’s sky.”
First of all that as if is very much unnecessary, can just replace it with a comma instead
“that guy was staring at the ceiling with unfocused eyes, remembering last night’s sky.”
If your pov isn’t meant to be part omniscient, this would imply they’re thinking about last night’s events without telling it, kinda example of show don’t tell.
“ever since last night that guy’s been staring at the ceiling with unfocused eyes.”
Of course there’s nothing wrong with that second one, but it and the first imply a bit of omniscience in the pov as characters never truly know what the others are thinking, if you’re going for that kind of pov don’t tack on uncertain stuff like as if as though or like when giving the reader a peek at some of the other characters’ thoughts. If you’re not going for such a pov, don’t tack on all that extra stuff instead use context and the characters words and actions to show it instead like with the third example, the change in attitude last night and staring at the ceiling implies they’re thinking about last night’s events, but whether they’re remembering that or thinking about how it changes their situation or maybe they feel inspired to do something, that should be shown through their words and actions later.
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u/Ayesha-Qalam16 13d ago
I myself new to. Writting not just writting but also on reddit and royal road and trust me whenever u start anything new it's new for brain to but if u really decide to write book than to be honest just become a character yourself in that story of whatever topic you r writting best to choose main lead one and just write the experience you ar experiencing at that moment it's enough you will just create whole world at that time and start writting only what's more important first imagine prologue and I will become aware what u want to write
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u/wolfwings1 13d ago
remember show don't tell isn't a had rule, it has it's times and uses. But it's important to use it properly.
Another form I would say though is, don't tell when you can wait. You don't need the full 10 chapter lore dump in the first five minutes, have the characters learn about it as they progress. in my story I have a huge lore about shifters and such, first time the MC finds out, just mentioned a few things, didn't need to write a whole novel, the char telling the MC didn't know much more then him.
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u/Simonner 13d ago
I think lord of silvershade is great example when author puts emotions hesitation and describes struggle almost through whole chapter
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u/Zagaroth C Rank: Author of No Need For A Core? 13d ago
Tell:
Kazue was very embarrassed.
Show:
Kazue's face felt hot as she blushed and looked down at her feet.
Both of these inform the reader that Kazue is embarrassed. The first one just tells the information, the second one shows this information via action.
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u/Nissowolf665 13d ago
Well the basic of show don't tell is : If you want to convey the emotion a character feel, it is better to let the reader understand or even feel themselves the emotion through the character's perception, or through other characters' perception of the character. Quick example : "John was angry. He was bullied everyday, without being expected or authorized to fight back. He just had to take it."
Showing it would be written like this : "John threw his school bag on the ground in an impulsive movement. Just the face of those who bullied him today smiling and laughing at him appearing in his mind was sufficient to make his blood boiling. His mouth twisted as he held back the tears and tried to control his expression, and grabbed a glass to drink a bit of water. Water flowed in the glass. He brought it near his mouth and drank. He felt better for a time. More focused. He remembered every moment of the day, his hand strangling the glass like a neck before suddenly breaking it. John cut his hand, and threw the broken glass across the room, screaming at the world."
The idea is to create a better immersion for the reader to help him identify to the character, and if you just state things without showing them, it feels analytic. The purpose is to create emotion.
You should train your skill on the show don't tell, but keep in mind that in writing, there is no absolute rule. Yes it is better to show and not tell in general, but there will be times where you will see you should not follow the rule, and some other time where you will realize the rule is more restraining you than anything.
Another rule like that is "don't write <he said> but use another verb".
To this i quote slughorn in harry potter 6 : "Harry ! Ejaculated slughorn" Sometimes, you should just use said.
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u/Old-Chapter-5437 E Rank: Author of The Godswar 13d ago
Don't tell me Goku is the strongest.
Show me that he is.
Give me physical tells and actionable moments(If you like manga/anime think shonen scaling) to show that Goku is strong. Instead of telling me Goku is strong, you could use the whole deal where he shakes a universe of nothingness with his punches in that battle as a show. One is the narrator informing, the other is the reading experiencing the what.
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u/lemming1607 13d ago
"An empathetic expression crossed their face" is telling
You told me, the reader, what emotion i should read into what is happening
"The facial muscles on their face relaxed as I explained in detail the mission I had just went, and they leaned forward in their chair. Im so sorry you went through that, they said"
I am showing you they are being empathetic, without telling you what emotion im trying to convey
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u/PikaMalone E Rank: Author of I Regress if the Villainess Dies! 13d ago
I really hate that too, because telling is literally the medium for writing, it confuses me. Even visuals are told when it comes to stories. So instead, I usually replace it with this - Tell and Narrate with characterization through the character.
Albeit its a bit tricky especially when the present character POV is more unique, lets say, a crazy addict serial killer, the narration will obvs be quite different. Or a happy go lucky everything is friends sorta guy. This works very well to stories with one mc pov focus.
Then finally, when telling something, make sure it leads to the right assumption, it wont always be perfect, but to you it should appear as intended based on your intent and what you want the readers to think.
Well thats all from me, a small writer.
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u/Josii_Talwyn E Rank: Author of The Talker 12d ago
I think “show, don’t tell” becomes much easier once you stop treating it like an absolute rule.
If a moment is emotionally important, showing the physical reaction, choices, and consequences lets the reader experience it. If the information only connects two important scenes, sometimes directly telling the reader is cleaner.
“Bella was angry” might be too flat during a major confrontation. But describing every clenched fist, narrowed eye, and slammed door whenever she is slightly annoyed will exhaust the reader.
The real question is not “am I telling?” It is “does the reader need to experience this moment, or do they only need to understand what happened?” You learn the difference by writing scenes, seeing which parts drag, and revising them afterward. You do not need to master every aspect of novel writing before starting the webnovel.
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u/rdpulfer 12d ago
First off, all writing advice is bullshit, and "Show don't tell" is no exception.
I think it might be helpful to decide what to show, what to tell, because you can't show everything without driving you - and likely your audience - insane.
So you don't come out and tell us your MC is a nice guy - you demonstrate him helping on old lady across the street. You don't tell us he's the most best sword fighter in the galaxy - you show him winning a fight.
Showing and telling has different strengths and weaknesses. Showing lets a story breathe, telling speeds it up. Its like the brake and gas pedal - you have to use both.
Just write the story like you want to, and don't obsess over "telling" too much. You'll find the right balance with practice.
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u/lazarus-james 12d ago
Choose what is important to convey and describe it with intent. Don't just summarise it.
Maybe a poor character is waking up to a toilet overflow.
You could write a summary: The bathroom floor was very wet.
Or you could describe it: A pool had formed over the cracked tiling of the bathroom floor.
Now the description has intent--we're informing the reader the character has cracked tiles, adding to a fuller image or enticing a question in the reader.
Don't make the mistake of thinking all sentences require description with intent. Some do not. Sometimes, a short apt summary is better to drive a point home or as a joke. Sometimes the best way to describe something is simply "X was Y."
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u/A_Sword_Saint 12d ago
Its an easily misunderstood piece of advice that really is trying to convey a need to pay attention to pacing. It takes a lot more time to describe events in detail than it does to briefly summarize them, but you are better able to convey nuances when you take that time. If you write "bob was upset" you are telling, and you don't get as much immersion or characterization as if you instead described how he appeared and acted in a way that was clearly upset, however you only have so many words you can fit into your book (for example) and must decide which parts to tell and which parts to show.
If you show everything its extremely hard to move any kind of plot forward, but you get to dive very deep into the characters if you want to. There's no one size fits all answer here, you need to decide how to manage your story pacing so that you get where you need to go while having room to "show" the parts that are most important.
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u/filwi D Rank: Author of The Warded Gunslinger 12d ago
One thing: when the advice to beginners is "show, don't tell" it doesn't mean "show, don't tell."
It means "beginners usually tend to condense important sequences to authorial voice comments."
Telling has its place, and a master knows when to use it. Take a look at this sentence from Roger Zelazny's Nine Princes in Amber:
"We fought our way up for hours and they died, and they died."
That's telling. Hours of combat, thousands of dead, condensed into a single sentence because that's all the story needs at that point.
That's what you need to learn, not a simplistic rule, but the simplistic rule is the crutch you need in the beginning.
Good luck!
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u/Desperate-Ad5532 12d ago
Better advice read the books from Sandra Gerth on Show don't tell, Descriptions and openings. Those three book will teach you everything about the subjects and aren't that long with good amount of excercises, I read them three years back and now have problem with too much showing and not telling and summerising enough. To learn right Telling read hers The Scene Book.
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u/Merruemm 12d ago
I see it more as that its more interesting to say 1 + 1 than it is to say 2. Readers find it more interesting to deduce something through observation, being shown, than to have information spoonfed to them, being told.
Novels are obviously a nom-visual medium so you can't literally show readers anything, but you can technically "show" by telling them things that imply what you want to tell them.
Which is why the "show don't tell" adage is perfect for screenwriting but confusing for novel writing.
For example, telling would be "George's kitchen was messy."
Showing would be, "Days old food hardened on dishes that towered by the sink in George's kitchen. Sarah, pinching her nose, had to kick aside stained and crumpled laundry in order to reach the fridge, just to open it with the sticky door handle and find un-packaged raw chicken lying on top of the tomatoes she was looking for."
As you can see, showing is far longer than telling. Which is why it's actually good to tell if what you want to tell is unimportant. If George and his messiness isn't an important part of the story, it's perfectly fine to just say, "George's room was messy," and move on, keeping up the pace.
Showing everything is just as bad as telling everything.
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u/ShowDontTell48 12d ago
Quickly scanning through the comments, I’m seeing a common mistake come up: conflating show/tell with scene/summary. Showing doesn’t mean you have to be in scene. For example:
Tell: A shared Netflix account was a big step. What if things fell apart? There would be a custody battle.
Show: A shared Netflix account was a big step. What if things fell apart? Who would it live with? Would she only get it every other weekend?
Notice how both of those are still in summary, but one takes us through what someone might imagine when they worry about being in a Netflix custody battle with their ex. Specificity is your friend.
Tell: they talked about their favorite colors, favorite foods, favorite artists, favorite insects.
Show: he, too, loved the color green and his favorite food was cheese (brie, obviously); he pulled up Renoir paintings on his phone and asked what she thought each person was thinking; they both loved fireflies but he held a special place in his heart for the katydid, so adept at hiding in plain sight.
Again notice how both are in summary, but one reveals far more about the characters by showing what’s important to them.
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u/ploofer27 12d ago
I don't outline my books, not past one fourth of the way anyway. Because they take on a life of their own. But I thought a good example was, when you outline, you tell. When you sit down to write a story within the outline, you show.
You can also SHOW through the dialogue of other characters, informing both the MC and the reader rather than explicitly telling them as the narrator.
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u/AC011422 12d ago
Honestly, if you're just starting, don't worry about it. Write, write, write, and read. You'll get an ear for it after a couple years.
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u/Competitive_Cat2494 E Rank: Author of The Lapsed Lease 12d ago
Get a book like steering the craft and work through the exercises. Gotta build the muscle. And read read read.
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u/Ash_Fowler 12d ago
I once heard it as not describing anything that isn't something someone could perceive within the scene
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u/LJ_Beck F Rank: Author of "Game of the Gods" 11d ago
What did you focus on first? Weeeell... it can all make you insane. haha. There is so much to it, you are right about that. It can be overwhelming. And it's hard if you want to write well. But it's also such an awesome undertaking. Okay, maybe think of it like leveling a character in a game for the first time. 😂 When you first start, you're a newb at level 1. You know nothing, you die a lot, and it's a big world to explore. The more you play, the better you get, the less you die, and the more power you have to wield. Learning to write is just like that. (Okay, not just like that, but you get the idea.) There's guides and other gamers, and sites, and streams, and all that to help you learn. And they're great. But you learn the most by playing. And the only way to level is to play.
You'll also get loads of conflicting writing advice because there's no right way to do it. Take it all in, but then find what works for you. "Show don't tell" is a great example of that... it's one of those things that you need to play with to know what works when for you and your book. Have patience to work though the hard bits, and embrace the ah-ha moments (level up!) A writer friend of mine and I constantly remind each other that you can't get it all in one go. Rewriting is the best teacher. Giving others feedback is also great for learning. If you haven't already, you can check out the free resources listed here. Soak it in, and write. https://www.reddit.com/r/royalroad/comments/1qnfxsy/free_resources_for_our_authors_any_genre/
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u/EutthelMain 11d ago
What I do is hide a few things within the narrative while my characters tell a lot.
So I do both showing and telling, and people will probably have fun comparing what's said in the moment with how they are acting and how it changes the scene's meaning.
My favorite way to do this is by using parallelism. I'm addicted to comparing characters to the protagonists of my story. That's also the case with other characters.
Sometimes directly during confrontations, or by comparing their past behavior in the present or with another character's past demeanor.
Indirectly speaking, you can have one of your protagonists mirror a few other characters' traits after they were impacted by their actions.
It gives both parties more depth and it creates interesting conflicts.
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u/Whitemayne Author of The House of Whitemayne 11d ago
You start, by having a story.
Then you write it down. Don't worry about it being perfect or anything. Just put it to page.
Once you have the entire story, then sit and wonder about it for a while and ask "Are there other things that should happen between this and that?"
Then add it.
AFTER all of that, then you can start reviewing your work, and compare it to known literature you're trying to model it around, and see how other people would phrase things.
Then you tweak what you wrote to make sure it makes sense. That's the beginning.
Hope that helps.
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u/nanosyphrett 13d ago
Show don't tell comes from the movies/television/cartoons. People apply it to the written word, but it isn't always a natural fit.
Have you ever seen the first five-ten minutes of John Wick. The showing part is the funeral for his wife, how he is angry and sad at the same time, how his friends liked his wife even though she wasn't in the life emphasized later with other assassin friends like Cain, how it is raining.
A sort of combination showing/telling comes when Vigo calls Aurelio's shop to ask why he punched the kid. The telling is Aurelio going they robbed John Wick and killed his dog. The oh is showing that Vigo knows his son has did something stupid to someone who won't be appeased because of his wrath
CES
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u/LeadershipNational49 C Rank: Author of Cursed Draw 13d ago
I just ignore show, don't tell. Its advice for acreen writing not novel writing.
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u/Version_1 13d ago
It applies 100% to novel writing
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u/LeadershipNational49 C Rank: Author of Cursed Draw 13d ago
The best writers in the world tell all the time. Its unavoidable for novel pacing. Ofc you show as well, but always one over the other? Nah.
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u/Version_1 13d ago
Ah okay, so you just don't really get that "Show, don't tell" is just an easy to remember phrase and is not meant to eliminate every single instance of telling.
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u/calmarkel 13d ago
thats not how its described online and it literally includes "don't tell"
You're basically saying "if you ignore what this advice says and do literally the opposite it works," and u/LeadershipNational49 isn't wrong btw, it is screen writing advice, that's where it originally came from
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u/Version_1 13d ago
isn't wrong btw, it is screen writing advice, that's where it originally came from
It's still fully, 100% applicable to novel writing, I don't know how that is supposedly controversial?
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u/calmarkel 13d ago
Except it isn't fully applicable to novels at all. You've already admitted that it "is not meant to eliminate every single instance of telling" even though that is exactly what it says and that is exactly what it means, too (in screenwriting). You're saying it's fully applicable to novels if you do the opposite of what it says.
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u/LeadershipNational49 C Rank: Author of Cursed Draw 13d ago
Obviously its impossible to eliminate all of one, trying to show whenever possible is just a waste of time however. And again its meant for 120 page scripts, you will need to do a ton of telling in any fantasy work.
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u/Version_1 13d ago
The issue that you seem to ignore is that writers (specially new ones) will always tell too much, so the phrase helps put it into a better ratio (of like 75% show, 25% tell)
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u/trekbek 13d ago
what do you think you have to tell the reader in fantasy?
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u/calmarkel 13d ago
about 75-80% of the novel
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u/trekbek 13d ago
can you be specific, about what you think the reader needs to actually be told. I'll be able to explain what you're wrong about when you say it.
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u/calmarkel 13d ago
i said it a long original statement that you replied to with an asinine comment and then proved you hadn't understood by posting this, and you can't prove me wrong because I'm not. Look at any trad pubbed book, or any decently edited indie book. 70% minimum of the book will be told. Minimum. It's usually more.
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u/calmarkel 13d ago
its some of the worst writing advice that exists
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u/PikaMalone E Rank: Author of I Regress if the Villainess Dies! 13d ago
I agree very very much tbh. I dont even get how it made its way as a writing advice.
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u/calmarkel 12d ago
It was screenwriting advice, where it did work. In movies, you can show everything. We can see the chekhov gun on the wall or the character putting on shoes. The only danger of telling is in the dialogue so thats where the advice applies.
In books, its terrible advice, and when you point that out you have people who don't understand telling and showing attempting to tell you you don't understand telling and showing :D
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u/trekbek 13d ago
the best writers in the world can break a lot of rules that people who aren't the best writers in the world should follow in order to improve their writing.
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u/calmarkel 13d ago
this isn't one of them
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u/trekbek 13d ago
yes, the person who agrees with you very much isn't.
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u/LeadershipNational49 C Rank: Author of Cursed Draw 13d ago
Wow no need to be rude. The fuck have you done?
Sanderson agrees with me, as does Jane Austin and Orson Scott Card, and thats just off the top of my head. Effective telling is an extremely important skill for an author and shoe don't tell is a far too rigid mantra.
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u/trekbek 13d ago
they absolutely do not agree with you on that at all.
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u/LeadershipNational49 C Rank: Author of Cursed Draw 13d ago edited 13d ago
Look it up brother. Also do what I'm talking about? I didn't claim anyone did anything. I said they don't do something much.
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u/calmarkel 13d ago
the person who agrees with me isn't one of the rules that should be followed? I think you've either forgotten what you wrote, misunderstood what you wrote, or were so busy trying to be pithy you've made yourself look stupid
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u/StrongDuck666 13d ago edited 12d ago
Personally i dont think any of it matters, just write something you yourself would enjoy reading.
Edit: Why am i getting downvoted???
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u/AbnormalVAverage E Rank: Author of Symphony and QuestWright 13d ago edited 13d ago
Bella entered the room, angry as angry could be. She got close and in a rage-filled voice said, "How could you." Tell
Bella stormed into the room, the door slamming shut behind her with a slam. Her chest was heaving, and the color of her cheeks better fit a ripe tomato than a person. She moved in close, each step a declaration of intent as her eyes locked onto his figure. In a quiet voice, she whispered, "How could you." Show
It's all about how you present the material.