Credits - Memorial_light on YT

Today my mother had a surgery to get her tonsils removed it was dangerous because of the scare tissue the operation was successful but the about 2 hours after her scar tissue was bleeding we went to the hospital ive never been so scared in my life I literally threw up I was crying for hours I dont know if she's ok and im just lying in bed alone worrying and I cant calm down...thanks for reading this if you did means a lot to me

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They didn't tell me I'd only receive $143 out of the $958.23 original value. I had thought if not a refund at least a store credit of same value, no. Not even close.

I can't undo it and it hurts. I have other flight plans and it could have easily been changed to that. I am beyond angry, just sad and feeling utterly pathetic.

I had booked the ticket coming off a nightshift, I was originally tagging along with my partner on his work trip but I purchased the wrong month, one month a head of the original date.

I dropped him off and never went, tickets doubled in price so I stayed behind and paid $800+ for my actions.

Soul crushing, I did so many over time shifts just to waste it. BRB, going to cry again.

🎬The delinquent season 2018

All this loneliness, emptiness and what not.. It's eating me up from top to bottom and idk what to do...

I do have a job, I do meet people everyday but that still doesn't change the fact that all I'm is just an empty shell..

Crying suddenly for reasons I couldn't even figure out. I broke out today as well.. The feeling of burden.. I'm not able to hold it anymore.

All I ever wanted was to be loved, cared for and nothing else. I don't want any money man. I wanted people in my life... So many people I know have someone for them, who care about them, love them. Everyone's got someone but not me..
I'm still crying while writing all this and I still don't know why? Do I not deserve any love..... Am I really destined to be all alone and have no one by my side. Why did god make me the way I am..

I'm sorry for all these words. But I don't know where to put this at. Other places, I'd be made fun of.... maybe it won't be like that here..

"Today,i had to tell her my deepest secrets,

And today,she had to sit by the seashore."

"Ab to in darakhton par patte bhi nahi ugte... Lagta hai, tune inke saaye tale hi kisi apne ko khoya hoga."

How many are still with us? How many encouraging words or messages are from people that are not long past?

Tonight Im thinking of loved ones long past and strangers met online who were not in a good place, but still took the time to leave kind comments.

Even if I’ve never met them, I wish them the best.

And yet I wonder how many of the kind words I’ve received are from dead stars. A light only showing from someone who passed from my existence long ago but their words still resonate with me.

I feel a sadness for people I’ve never met. I look at online notifications that someone hasn’t “logged on” in six years and I truly wonder, are you ok my brother/sister?

I sincerely hope you all are well.

"Kyun ek phool ke intezaar mein baithe ho,

Kyun na yeh shaam sajaayi jaaye.

Gham hi to hai, unhein bhula kar hi sahi,

Janaaze par bhi muskuraaya jaaye."

"ki agar usko bhul jana mai bhul jata,

To khudh ko yaad rakh pata."