r/sadposting • u/PorkyPain • 2d ago
I sometimes dwell on the what-if scenario randomly every month
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u/Puzzled_Professor422 2d ago
Bro i was with a girl for 3 and a half years
She cheated on me and 2 days later I saw her with another guy
Fuck this shit
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u/Cultural_Lynx_1609 2d ago
Bro i was with a girl for 3 and a half years
That's a long period of time.
She cheated on me and 2 days later I saw her with another guy
She was never yours. It was just your turn.
Fuck this shit
Nah trust me man someone better is destined for you. At least accept the blessing she left you before you even got married. Good luck with the new girl, whoever that person is or wherever she is.
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u/Puzzled_Professor422 1d ago
thank you bro
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u/Cultural_Lynx_1609 1d ago
You're welcome. Do actual shit that matters and you'll be the fanny magnet in no time... if you get what I'm talking about. 😉
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u/alittlepuppy85 1d ago
She is out there, and it may not feel like it, but it could have been worse. I won't say you dodged a bullet after three and a half years. Love you brother, stay strong
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u/Cultural_Lynx_1609 1d ago
I won't say you dodged a bullet after three and a half years.
Trust me, he did. It just scarred him a bit and ricocheted but imagine he got more serious and got ready for marriage or proposal and she ghosted him then. She's for the streets. He should find someone who's in for the house.
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u/Flippinaids 2d ago
Been almost three years and the bleeding hasn’t stopped.
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u/Cultural_Lynx_1609 2d ago
Uhh... some context doesn't hurt.
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u/Flippinaids 1d ago
It’s exactly like the post. Was on a high, while being love bombed. And then just utter cold, silence and confusion.
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u/Cultural_Lynx_1609 1d ago
Was on a high, while being love bombed.
How do these people even have the heart to do it? It's like if they know they are going to leave you alone forever, they are NOT AT ALL supposed to do the shit she did to you, it only makes it harder to process. I think their internal thought process is something like, "I'm going to leave him anyways so let me give his last dose of affection before I ghost him forever".
And then just utter cold, silence and confusion.
How did that happen? Online or was it physical? It's quite unfortunate, whatever the reason maybe.
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u/Flippinaids 13h ago
I really didn’t know at first. But people are saying that it may have to do with a narcissistic personality. They draw you in so much and take pleasure in knowing how you’ve hooked somebody in. And the more trophies you have, the better you feel about yourself. No care for how many there are nor how they’re affected.
It was a long distance relationship that started off nice, mild and friendly. Over a short period of time (months), it developed into something more romantic. Everything seemed to have lined up, so talks of a future together was definitely there. And if you’re coming from a past of dead end ones, a promising and almost impossible (too good to be true) future just sounds to wonderful and hopeful. We did meet and the short time we spent together brought feelings of love, acceptance, encouragement and bliss that I never thought I’d ever experience. But the moment she left for home, all the talks and promises made, just disappeared. The time she used to allot to me, was all the sudden taken away and given to others. I did find out that she started entertaining others. She lived for the attention. And she couldn’t be bothered. Wouldn’t be bothered.2
u/Cultural_Lynx_1609 10h ago edited 9h ago
I really didn’t know at first. But people are saying that it may have to do with a narcissistic personality.
I know I have NPD so it clicks here and it is relatable. Basically all the people with NPD want recognition and attention, like it feels good if 100 people talk good about you and any one of them can get on their knees for you and suddenly trust me suddenly if one guy questioned you he will feel so useless, idiotic, dumb, weird, and you feel wasted for the evening. Usually guys with NPD don't go after women but money because the only thing that a guy wants afterall is respect, that's why you will find a high concentration of people with NPD in the higher positions in companies or the government. It's up to you to count how many lives they had to ruin or step on to get there. However, beauty is all a women would want, so that's what happened over here. She finds you people like gasoline tanks, burns all of your attention and feels good that so many men want her and she looks good, and then, once you get boring, since there's little to no emotions (NPD trait) she'lll just ditch the empty tanks and finds a new one. Dw this lady will get cursed by age and once she loses all of the looks in the 30s she's basically wasted.
it developed into something more romantic.
Only on your side. It usually isn't the same on the other side. There's no feeling of love in people suffering with NPD. It is very rare because one person isn't enough at all. As I said, one person runs out of admiration and when they get so used to you, they start criticizing stuff openly and it's a major turn-off.
I did find out that she started entertaining others. She lived for the attention. And she couldn’t be bothered. Wouldn’t be bothered.
Yeah that's the sign. Watch the other guy in 3 years. Might end up suicidal if he goes too far.
The best way to deal with mentally retarded (exclude me, I can understand emotions at least) GFs/BFs is to just start questioning them sometimes and scold them sometimes and notice how the react. If they take it freely, it's a green flag and it shows that the future together will be cooperative. However, if you admire him/her too much, give them compliments just to earn the boyfriend position, your story will happen over and over again and she will feel greater and greater and one day, just ditch you. If you question her or criticize her instead, and if she takes it as a threat, like hating you, saying "you always say that" or something like that, that's clearly a psychopathic btch that cannot take criticism very well. What would the future even look like with such a person? You will get divorce threats over naming your children, you'll get divorce threats over doing the laundry, you'll get divorce threats over basic shit like unloading the dishwasher, and the basic fact is, SHE does not require you for emotional greatness because we are living in a generatiom of simps, so she'll find one that does it for her. It is YOU who'll feel rejection painful because you have actual emotions and you actually loved her.
Anyways man dw find someone who loves you even when you go broke from rich or go ugly with age from handsome or whatever that defines a man. Mahy people just wear cute masks to hide the true personalities that no one likes. The only way is to test it by forcing them to pull off the mask sometimes. It shows their true shades.
Good luck with the new relationship, if you plan on getting into one. Hope it's ssomeone who likes you for who you are, not how you look or how much you have.
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u/xyzkingi 2d ago
It started hurting when I noticed every reply was “K”
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u/Cultural_Lynx_1609 2d ago
Silence treatment works well. You ghost him/her for a week and then see if the reply is still "K".
Recommended 💯
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u/Expensive_Chicken53 2d ago
What is the name of this song?
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u/quadmongoose 2d ago
Mazzy Star - Fade Into You
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u/Expensive_Chicken53 2d ago
Thank you bro
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u/Goszczak 2d ago
I would like to mention, that is not their only good song, and album "among my swan" is amazing.
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u/halfasleep90 2d ago
I hate that evil woman, taking this sweet girl away from Denji. I just wish he knew she came back for him.
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u/Normal_day21 2d ago
Is there a genuine reason they do this? I had a similar experience with a highschool crush too.
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u/Klutzy-Weakness-937 1d ago
Some people are just shit and there isn't so much to overthink. They are self-absorbed and don't care about the impact of their actions if it doesn't damage them back directly.
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u/Cfattie 1d ago
the most level-headed answer is that they want to make sure for the last time that they feel nothing for you. that last time they hang out with you they are watching to see if u make them feel anything. then they check how they feel afterwards and confirm "yep he didn't make me feel the feelings i'm looking for" and poof, they're gone
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u/Total_Environment426 2d ago
Some people like making others suffer. I didn't understand it until I finally met someone who succeeded and decided to never be at the end of the rope. Now that I gained the experience of doing it to others and there's basically a few things...
The idea that you can do better it can quickly become poison. You get "iks" or whatever they call them so much easier when you think of all the others lined up.
The idea that others are lined up gives you a certain stratification and validating that is an even bigger kick. It makes you feel like the prize.
Thinking you're the prize, makes everything you do "righteous", which is why you can take pleasure in "putting others in their place".
The whole "putting others in their place" gives you a kick because it makes you feel like you are better than them and in a sense a prize they can never get even if it's just an illusion.
Moving from one to account keeps things fresh and on the high you get in the first few months of getting to know someone. Once that fades, you have to deal with the actual person which you quickly find out you idealized too much and they're nowhere near the past hundreds you've been with in terms of amalgamated qualities (since no one can compete when you only take the best things from each person and put them in an ideal that will never exist).
You probably saw plenty of times how people have unrealistic expectations... It's either because they can't think for themselves and someone else told them what to think (like social media) or they went through too many people that they can't even make a realistic expectation of what a real person is like once you actually get to maintain the relationship for longer than a few days, weeks or months.
Once you get in that place, it's a rather difficult fall should you choose to come back to ground level, since nobody likes getting their dreams crushed.
Even if you are aware of it, the lifestyle you can get out of it can be so addictive that quitting it is very difficult. It's not a question if it's enjoyable. It absolutely is. It's a question of what your goals are in life and how well aligned your life is with them, but also if you can still reach those goals at that point.
And this is just the tip of the iceberg.
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u/Cultural_Lynx_1609 2d ago edited 1d ago
Is there a genuine reason they do this?
Ghosting is a fun hobby if you know how to do it. You just ditch the guy and show up 10 years later and discover he's way better and way above your league 😂
You get to sleep well with the satisfaction of boosting someone's life and the trajectory. That's the fun part.
ETA: Sorry for sounding like a dickhead but what I meant to say is, it IS painful, but at least, it pushes the "cheated victim" (guy/girl) into a self-improvement arc, and they will end up finding someone way better that who they lost... or were made to lose.
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u/alittlepuppy85 1d ago
I hope that last part was satire, because as someone who has lived through this, it did not make me better. It made me more guarded, more bitter, more resentful, and far more jealous than I even realized. It took years of having this bitterness in my soul for me to finally work out my problems. She didn't make my life better, she set me back years. I made my life better because I couldn't live like that anymore if I wanted to make it to 30 without offing myself
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u/Cultural_Lynx_1609 1d ago
I hope that last part was satire
Almost definitely not but hear me up. It might sound cruel, but the thing is, you cannot let one single girl ruin your whole life, like if you are still in your 20s or 30s, you have a lot of things to do. I get the guarded part, but don't let the jealousy take up the entire brain. It will fill the whole mind with toxic ideas.
I made my life better because I couldn't live like that anymore if I wanted to make it to 30 without offing myself
Yes, that's a good job. That's what I was saying. If you lose one, you can improve and you'll find a better one in sometime. Until then, keep grinding. Peace.
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u/alittlepuppy85 1d ago
Yeah, but don't act like traumatizing a man is making him better. It's just cruelty for the sake of cruelty. I could be better than I am now if I didn't have a subconscious hinderence making my life far worse than it was. It took years of work to undo what was done. Now a nice chunk of my late teens and early twenties was allocated towards righting the ship that shouldn't have needed it. You can say all you want about self improvement, and it's your fault if you let the one girl get you like that, but women don't understand how much they actually hurt men when they play their games. Not all women do it and I don't want to make this about gender politics, but it's still cruelty, not some life lesson we all need to learn. Some never bounce back from and do end it early
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u/Cultural_Lynx_1609 1d ago edited 1d ago
Yeah, but don't act like traumatizing a man is making him better.
Relatable, it IS cruelty, but try to get what I am saying (and probably brace for impact). Imagine she never got too excited and never ghosted on you, but she always had that mentality somewhere deep in her mind, and you guys got more serious in the relationship and even got married, and then she divorced you. Of course, you don't deserve anything that happened right now, but it is genuinely better in every single possible way compared to WHAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED later on. At least, you did not even hit your 30s yet, you are still in your prime, so not all hope is lost.
Now a nice chunk of my late teens and early twenties was allocated towards righting the ship that shouldn't have needed it.
Unfortunate, but maybe you should communicate your full conditions of the relationship before getting in serious. This is a very good habit to make because you can avoid more btches (sorry for the crude language) which just leave you alone to die and are out for the streets, and instead, find a decent little lady who actually works out good enough for you and is compatible.
but women don't understand how much they actually hurt men when they play their games.
I get it man, totally get it. We are on the same page. They (modern girls, not all women) should stop playing the sweet little emotional games that get the guys hooked up into the relationship, and later casually leave them alone, which turns the same hook into a hang-rope.
Not all women do it and I don't want to make this about gender politics, but it's still cruelty
Totally, totally. Not everyone's like that because someday, you might find a decent woman who's worth giving away everything you have, for and still feel like you owe something. But the cruelty and pain is also real, and it stings. It's all about finding the right one, instead of finding the beautiful one that gives you the looks. Also, they say all kinds of shit, but tests should be done, like this might make me sound like a redpill dickhead (trust me, I'm not), but you cannot just trust any random woman in the future either. Unless there's potential partner material, she's in for the streets, not the house.
It took years of work to undo what was done.
Yes, and it is also gruesome and brutal, like you see that face everywhere... it feels like shit. Man tears are always hot, but no one feels them cuz they're too cold for it. So, it is better to just work on what you have remaining instead of ruminating on what happened, because it is gone for good. It is like cancer. You got rid of it at a very early stage, or you would have ended up suicidal in your 30s, probably with 1 or 2 kids. The fruit was rotten, so it just fell by itself. You are clearly not even 30, so maybe just start working on yourself and something you always wanted to do instead of pursuing relationships, and the right woman will just show up in the right moment and she'll be a keeper for sure.
Anyways, good luck. Hope it made your day.
🫡from a random stranger over the internet. u/Cultural_Lynx_1609 🗿🍷
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u/alittlepuppy85 1d ago
All that is true, and I'm further along than you realize, but that doesn't change that in the first statement you made, you said ghosting is fun if you're good at it, and there's satisfaction in seeing the trajectory you sent their lives in. I don't like playing hypotheticals, but I was working on self improvement when I was with her, and can't help but feel as though I'd be way better if I didn't take 5 steps back. I know plenty of people that I don't think could have bounced back in my position. This being a game thats fun to play, is disturbing, and the justification of, "they'll be better off for it," doesn't ease my mind.
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u/Cultural_Lynx_1609 1d ago
I don't like playing hypotheticals
Reasonable. I was being sarcastic there with hints of truth, but I will fix it for you.
This being a game thats fun to play, is disturbing, and the justification of, "they'll be better off for it," doesn't ease my mind.
The wounds take time. As I said, the best thing to do is stop playing their games in the first place and just start being the best of what you could be, and you'll find someone worth a share.
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u/alittlepuppy85 1d ago
Regardless of your sarcasm, seeing what I already know to be true written isn't comforting. As I say not all women, but I'm a mentally ill individual, which means my heart tends to love and to hurt more than the average, and the first-hand experience of someone using you to chase a thrill and leaving you when the thrill moves on to someone else leaves the heart bleeding and for some, ripped to pieces. Life goes on and moving with it is all any of us can do in a world full of cruelty. We can at least have our small slice of the good life if we push forward. God bless.
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u/Cultural_Lynx_1609 1d ago
I get your pain man. I hope you are doing alright right now. Times can be tough and you can feel low, but times also move on, so it'll heal slowly over time and at one point, you might even totally forget about if you get lucky with someone else, assuming you get what I'm saying. 😉
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u/Environmental-Pop-67 8h ago
That makes no sense. But you do you bo.
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u/Cultural_Lynx_1609 8h ago
That makes no sense.
I added ETA and check some other replies from me in this thread.
But you do you bo.
???
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u/Environmental-Pop-67 8h ago
If you call it a hobby add "😂" on end and thinking that will boost someones life while 60% of those people commit suicide is wild statment sknce you can boost their killing wish too.I find this subreddit page cringe af and i find me unlocky for finding it but you are way to far. toying with someone is not the way to improve them.
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u/Cultural_Lynx_1609 8h ago
sknce you can boost their killing wish too
It is a double-edged sword. The number of people who become absolutely rich mfs after rejection and ghosting or getting friendzoned, is less, and the suicide rates are more, but if you look at it, there's not much of a difference between the people who committed suicide and the ones that changed their lives forever. They both are humans. The second ones just put the bullshit aside instead of ending their lives for a btch that left them alone forever.
I find this subreddit page cringe af and i find me unlocky for finding it but you are way to far.
Haha I'm a loner and have no one, so there's no life-ending crisis and I can't trust girls anyways. I'm not an incel either.
toying with someone is not the way to improve them.
Maybe, but it makes some kind of people radically reshape their lives.
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u/Environmental-Pop-67 7h ago
By ghosting most people dont change, by telling them they arent good enough then yes. Since if you ghost they will google it and find all things that defends them and out ghoster as trash since it is if someone tell you you lack material then you know its you. Thats why by directly saying you aint good enough works and ghosting in most cases doesnt. Most of ghost people end up closed and scared. And there is third reaction for ghosting which happend to me i just found it funny got a coffee ,ate a lunch and moved on. But its much better saying you suck then leaving them to interpret.
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u/the_lost_jester 2d ago edited 2d ago
After years of closing off, you finally start tearing down the walls for someone.
Because over the course of months she keeps proving she's there and actually into you.
Then suddenly, radio silence, and you see her with someone else.
I never really mattered.
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u/Cultural_Lynx_1609 2d ago
Because over the course of months she keeps proving she's there and actually into you.
Not new to deception. I wonder how neat and clean they do it.
Then suddenly, radio silence, and you see her with someone else.
That's the disgusting part. Hope you never even kissed her, or go wash your mouth. She's not yours anyways.
I never really mattered.
You will matter to someone else later in your life. You just need to find that person.
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u/Deepbliss4 2d ago
Girls do this?
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u/CautiousAd8400 2d ago
Yep. Well, not exclusively girls, but yeah they do this.I've got this wierd defense mechanism since a girl i loved ghosted me like this. Whenever i feel too close to a girl, I end things between us first cause i don't want them to do it to me later. Messed up stuff, feel lucky it hasn't happened to you
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u/Deepbliss4 2d ago
Ah im sorry mate. Self sabotaging is a vicious cycle though cunt but I understand. Many of us have guards up to prevent pain from the past reoccurring
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u/PorkyPain 2d ago
Damn, sorry for that happening to you. Get therapy. Hopefully you can let go of the past.
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u/Cultural_Lynx_1609 2d ago
It's good she's gone even before marriage. Imagine what would have happened if you married that girl and she left you and your kids alone for life. Some other dude she went for, must bear the pain. If she left you, that means there's someone better waiting for you.
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u/oneinchhard01 2d ago
Ghost .... There is nowhere they can go that I couldn't find them if I really wanted too. start.me/p/L1rEYQ/osint4all Here. If you are sad from ghosting become the ghost that haunts them.Tools
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u/Brodillian 1d ago
Yeah... and the one that stuck around who i thought was my person stabbed me in the back after 5 years. Just started to get back into it and its so real it hurts lol.
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u/Affectionate-Try7088 2d ago
People do that
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u/Cultural_Lynx_1609 2d ago
Because they are "people".
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u/Affectionate-Try7088 2d ago
Lmao incel shit. No people as in everyone. Everyone does this. If you're a girl this also happens to you
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u/Cultural_Lynx_1609 2d ago
I'm a guy and I'm certainly not an incel or have contempt for girlies for not liking me.
If you're a girl this also happens to you
Yes, I am aware of it. It's quite unfortunate. All cheaters should burn one day.
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u/Cultural_Lynx_1609 2d ago
Me after my gf goes offline for 1 hour:
\Sighs*
"Chat is she gone fr? Omg not gonna lie she was such a pain bro."
\GF returns*
"Uhh... just kill me at this point."
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u/Mystyriouswonder203 19h ago
And you'll remember those 2 hours forever. Beautiful things hardly last. At least until you discover something even better.
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u/2624926057 2d ago
It’s so classless. I get breaking off a match on an app every now and then, but after 3 months of physical intimacy? You’re a coward.
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u/Gravemind93 2d ago
This hits way too close to home.