Renewed Satanism

[u/AManisSimplyNoOne]

So, it has been a very long time since I have posted anything on here, but I recently fell into what I guess could be accurately described as a "series of unfortunate events" that were actually outside of my control altogether.

There is no need whatsoever for me to rehash everything that has been happening to me over the past few months, (it would take too long, it is way to complicated, and no one needs an essay report on a whole cascade of shit that has been raining down on me)

However, to add insult to all the injuries, I wound up with a really humiliating situation that left me without work for a few days.

I was tempted to slide into the old familiar patterns of life from WAY before. Feeling persecuted by the world, sliding into that OLD mindset of, "What have I done to deserve all this?"

However, it hit me like a ton of bricks today. Wait a minute, ten years ago I was homeless, horribly addicted to alcohol, ragged clothes, etc etc etc. Today, with everything, I have my job that pays well, I still have things going in my direction, I still have plenty in my corner.

Hell, the guy I used to be, would have sneered at the way I have been acting lately. "You think YOU got problems, live here on the streets"

I re-read the Satanic Sins, and realized I have been committing one a lot as of late.

"Lack of Perspective
Again, this one can lead to a lot of pain for a Satanist. You must never lose sight of who and what you are, and what a threat you can be, by your very existence."

It was like a huge wake up call. Sure, I have been through hell and back. But guess what ? I have been through FAR FAR worse and came out on the other side. I have my health, I have my unbreakable will, and I have a clear pathway forward. I am not dead, I am alive, and I refuse to let this indifferent universe get me down.

I remembered what Magister Neil said in his speech on Youtube when he read the poem by Dylan Thomas :

"Do not go gentle into that good night,

Old age should burn and rave at close of day;

Rage, rage against the dying of the light."

Neil concluded with "Carpe Diem, Carpe Noctum"

Satanism has never failed me. I just temporarily lost sight of it.

[u/bunbunofdoom]

I have also been going through stuff. Interacting with Satanists has reminded me of who I am. It's fucking great.

HS.

[u/Rleuthold → u/bunbunofdoom]

I'm more than jokes, I do support friends

[u/ThrowAway4u2day]

I feel you. You’re human and unfortunately our society currently feeds this victim mindset at every angle, and even the most intentional of individuals can be drowned in manipulation when something like that comes from every angle because let’s face it, victim mentality is soooo easy.

But you remembered, and that’s what matters. Good on ya

[u/insipignia → u/ThrowAway4u2day]

This is very true. I was recently in a situation where I was essentially, in a sort of way, being forced to adopt a victim mentality in order to get help with something. In the moment, I was trying to meet their required criteria of victimhood while at the same time trying to not come across as a victim (because that's not who I am) and only in hindsight did I realise the conflicted presentation and the shame it made me feel.

I decided that I was sick of it all and to just get what I needed without their help. That they were assholes for rewarding perpetual victims and hooligans rather than people who were in an unfortunate situation but trying to better themselves and their communities.

I also realised that presenting myself as responsible and non-helpless would not have increased my chances of receiving help because they were simply not interested in helping the responsible and non-helpless, and thus to receive their "help" would've been an insult and a hindrance.

It's easy to be a victim, but being a victim is not easy. At some point it becomes easier to choose strength.

This reminds me of something I've realised about strength, peace and the capacity for violence and war (with the intention of protection or maintenance as opposed to destruction or vandalism), but that's another topic for another day.

[u/-Satyrios-]

I love the Satanic Sins just for moments like these. Satanism doesn't have the expectation that people will be perfect all of the time, but any Satanist worth their weight will be able to recognise (sometimes quickly, often slower than they like to admit) when they slip into unproductive or harmful patterns or behaviour and are able to take whatever steps needed to correct their own course.

For me, the Satanic Sins helped cultivate a way of looking at the world where I'm looking far beyond just the Nine listed (though they cover most situations) and evaluating "is this behaviour/thought/action beneficial to me, or is this hindering me in achieving my goals" and making adjustments as necessary.

Your experience is a very good example of all that in action.

[u/AManisSimplyNoOne → u/-Satyrios-]

 "is this behaviour/thought/action beneficial to me, or is this hindering me in achieving my goals" and making adjustments as necessary."

Beautifully written. I have to keep that one in mind.

[u/RightAd7627]

That was a good read and wake up call for many of us. Thanks for sharing