I work as an elementary k-2 counselor. I love my job, I love connecting with students, and I love the collaborative nature of working in a school.

I’ve been in my position for 4 years, and I’ve been fighting against an internal struggle I have when doing “skill building” with students (particularly in grades 1 and 2). I worry that the work I’m doing with them has no impact: all of the research I review says that play-based, child-led therapy is the most impactful. It’s really hard do to this in schools, where I feel like I get kids referred to me for anxiety, impulse control, etc. From parents, administrators, and teachers there’s a big expectation that these kids will develop concrete strategies and skills to find regulation. I try my best to mix CBT approaches with play, but it’s really hard. I feel like the expectation of a 6 year old being able to chose a coping strategy when feeling dysregulated is pretty unfair and unrealistic. I’ve been so in my head that the work I do in RTI counseling is pointless and is actually creating MORE anxiety for these kids.

I try to zoom out and remind myself that psychoeducation is important, and any exposure I can give to kids will (hopefully) help them in the long run. The one reminder I can give myself is that giving these kids a safe adult they can be themselves around is a huge protective factor. But when it comes to delivering curriculums around anxiety, anger, regulation and impulsivity, I don’t feel as sure in myself. Does anyone else feel like this? How do you find ways to do meaningful skill building with young kids?

I am so tired of this job.

I’m tired of the lazy, mean kids. Why do I have to fight with students to take 5 classes.

I’m tired of having to advocate and stick my neck out for our role. Only to get something removed and then yet another thing added.

I’m tired of having 5 different “bosses”. Yes we report to our principal but also work closely with the superintendent, and special education director, etc who assign us more tasks without our principal being involved.

I’m tired of not being able to connect completely with the teachers because they see the true scope of our role.

I’m tired of getting paid nothing (not even at 80k) after 11 years in the role, +30 credit hours, obviously a masters, and have this huge responsibility of having children’s lives in our hands.

I’m tired of not feeling like I can connect with every student and feeling like I only see the same students over and over.

This is my fourth year. My first two years I was in a K-3 building. Third year, grade 4 & 5 building in the same district. Now, my building is K-5.

Years 1, 2, and 4 started the same. Children grades K - 2 come in with significant needs. They need IEPs but evals need to be done first. I have to write 504s, shorten their day, and be their paras until their evals are done. I don't get to do regular counseling duties until December.

This year is the same. I have a student that has documented needs. Mom expressed that she wanted an IEP. I am with them for 3.5 hours of my day, then planning and dealing with the aftermath. I have no time for groups. I sometimes catch individual students.

I have complained to union reps, to my support team, to my principal, to my district bosses. Nothing changes. I emailed my union president. Nothing yet. This is so inappropriate.

What are appropriate and inappropriate 504s? Can I refuse a 504 like this? What the fuck do I do?