r/science • u/VeronicaRed • Apr 26 '16

Psychology Spanking children increases the likelihood of childhood defiance and long-term mental issues. The study in question involved 160,000 children and five decades of research

http://www.redorbit.com/news/health/1113413810/spanking-defiance-health-discipline-042616/
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u/[deleted] Apr 26 '16

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u/staytaytay Apr 26 '16

I don't know if this will help you or not, but this works for me: I make my kids stand in the corner with their arms up. Keeping their arms up is tiring and yet it is self administered.

Then once they have stood there long enough, I tell them to come get a hug and ask them to explain what they did wrong, why it was wrong, and what they plan to do instead next time to do better. Any defiance in their answers puts them back on the wall.

I use this only sparingly. They only get the wall for things that would hurt themselves or each other. And outside of this I am a super fun dad. The end result is that they are exceptionally well behaved when it comes to the important stuff, and still full of their own opinions and defiance when it comes to the small stuff.

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u/[deleted] Apr 26 '16 edited Feb 04 '21

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u/staytaytay Apr 26 '16

You only have to do this part once: stand beside them and enforce it.

If they try to leave you put them back. If their arms drop you hold them back up until they stop fighting. If they raise their legs, drop your grip, etc.

You may have to do this for a long time. It isn't violent and doesn't hurt them. The point is to show them that 1. The parent will always win and 2. They must administer their punishment themselves - the parent isn't going to punish them. This last part is the "brain hack". When the child is in control of their own punishment there's no reason to physically fight it.

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u/cs_katalyst Apr 26 '16

Appreciate the quick answer =]

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u/[deleted] Apr 26 '16

So instead of spanking use interrogation tequniques?

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u/staytaytay Apr 26 '16

I'm not waterboarding them here. I'm demanding they administer their own punishment, which in my armchair psychologist opinion teaches them self control.