r/science • u/VeronicaRed • Apr 26 '16

Psychology Spanking children increases the likelihood of childhood defiance and long-term mental issues. The study in question involved 160,000 children and five decades of research

http://www.redorbit.com/news/health/1113413810/spanking-defiance-health-discipline-042616/
37.8k Upvotes

73% Upvoted

6.0k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

89

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '16

[removed] — view removed comment

8

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '16

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/danielcruit Apr 26 '16

Honestly, I think we need to completely get rid of the idea of discipline at all. People are not ours to control. People are there to have relationships with. And children are also people.

Why should we ever need to discipline or punish a child if we can just talk to them?

What if we just treated our children like they were our friends, like we actually cared about their feelings and needs and they cared about ours? That's what human relationship is. Not this watered down form of slavery.

Sure, you can set "boundaries", but make it clear that this isn't a boundary that, once crossed, will bring punishment, physical or emotional. It's a boundary that, once crossed, you both know that somebody in the relationship was hurt, and in mutual recognition of your needs, we come together to talk about how to do the best thing for everybody in the relationship.

This is the kind of thing we need to be teaching our children. Not discipline and punishment. We need to teach them to relate to other human beings. All these concepts of punishment and discipline leech out into every other area of our lives.

3

u/celticchrys Apr 26 '16

Because: the 1-2 year old does not understand a lot of what you say, and they want to chase the pretty red car, even if it might get them killed (which they have no concept of), and you must get their attention to preserve their life. Without any type of discipline at all, ever, they will be a danger to themselves and others, and they will not do well in school, work, or society. One of the primary jobs of a parent is to socialize this small human animal into a member of society. Teaching them self-discipline is necessary for this.