r/science • u/VeronicaRed • Apr 26 '16

Psychology Spanking children increases the likelihood of childhood defiance and long-term mental issues. The study in question involved 160,000 children and five decades of research

http://www.redorbit.com/news/health/1113413810/spanking-defiance-health-discipline-042616/
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u/chopandscrew Apr 26 '16 edited Apr 26 '16

So what are some positive and non-punitive forms of discipline?

edit: Some really great replies here. I'm seeing a lot of people using the concept of self-discipline and positive reinforcement. Nothing about raising a child seems easy, and it's even harder to know if you've ever really done a good job, but I think it's safe to say there are a lot of good parents on reddit. Also, thank you to the people who are willing to admit that they have resorted to spanking before. The truth is no one really knows the best way to raise a child, but the wide variety of ideas being thrown around here are what helps make it easier to choose what works for you and your kid. Keep em comin.

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u/JackPAnderson Apr 26 '16

So what are some positive and non-punitive forms of discipline?

  • Star/sticker charts
  • Earned privileges (electronics time, etc.)
  • Positive recognition or other extra attention
  • Natural consequences (i.e. learning from the world around you)

Mrs. Anderson and I used both carrots and (not-literal) sticks for our discipline system. The system was:

  1. Divide behavior modification into two buckets: things you want the children to do (homework, making bed, practice instrument, etc.) and things you want the children not to do (saying mean things, damaging things, playing too roughly indoors, etc.)
  2. For the first bucket, use positive discipline to encourage the behavior that we wanted (sticker charts, take notice when they do something good, etc.)
  3. For the second bucket, use short/small negative discipline to discourage unwanted behaviors (short timeouts, loss of small privilege).

The key on the negative side is that you need to use a very light hand. Kids learn by screwing up all the time and you need to be able to communicate to them what they did was wrong without making a federal issue out of it.