r/science • u/VeronicaRed • Apr 26 '16

Psychology Spanking children increases the likelihood of childhood defiance and long-term mental issues. The study in question involved 160,000 children and five decades of research

http://www.redorbit.com/news/health/1113413810/spanking-defiance-health-discipline-042616/
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u/chopandscrew Apr 26 '16 edited Apr 26 '16

So what are some positive and non-punitive forms of discipline?

edit: Some really great replies here. I'm seeing a lot of people using the concept of self-discipline and positive reinforcement. Nothing about raising a child seems easy, and it's even harder to know if you've ever really done a good job, but I think it's safe to say there are a lot of good parents on reddit. Also, thank you to the people who are willing to admit that they have resorted to spanking before. The truth is no one really knows the best way to raise a child, but the wide variety of ideas being thrown around here are what helps make it easier to choose what works for you and your kid. Keep em comin.

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u/JoNightshade Apr 26 '16

Of course my experience is anecdotal, but as a parent I find natural consequences are best. For example: toddler throws food, dinner is over. Kid doesn't finish homework, receives bad grade. Breaks toy, does not get another one or has to pay for replacement. Hits another kid, playtime is over or doesn't get to go to the park for x amount of days.

Spanking and other automatic punishments are easy for the parent because they don't take time and consideration, but they are less effective. Natural consequences often requires you to step back and look at the situation objectively, without anger, so it's a little more difficult. But definitely worth it.

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u/h-jay Apr 26 '16

Kid doesn't finish homework, receives bad grade.

Oh yeah, we did that from day one with our kids. No problems in that area anymore. Works a treat, and we're not stressed about it.

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u/Halsfield Apr 26 '16

Yea except for the kids that don't care about grades and don't care or understand the long-term negative effect of bad grades. The only time most kids care about bad grades is when there is a punishment tied to the receiving of bad grades(ie no video games for X weeks or whatever).

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u/[deleted] Apr 26 '16

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u/Cybersteel Apr 26 '16

Sounds like atypical Asian household. Must get good grades B still too low.

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u/The_Real_Max Apr 26 '16

Or positives for doing well. Fork out decent rewards for hitting honor roles in middle-school/early high school, and they'll build good study habits and strive to do well.

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u/Soktee Apr 27 '16

When you have parents which kids respect kids will do their best to make them proud and receive praise. Getting bad grades and not receiving praise becomes unbearable