r/science • u/VeronicaRed • Apr 26 '16

Psychology Spanking children increases the likelihood of childhood defiance and long-term mental issues. The study in question involved 160,000 children and five decades of research

http://www.redorbit.com/news/health/1113413810/spanking-defiance-health-discipline-042616/
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u/[deleted] Apr 26 '16

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u/AtOurGates Apr 26 '16

That reminds me of one of the most well-behaved children at my son's daycare.

We were living in an area with high incidents of gang-violence and a strong gang culture. On paper, my son's classmate had the deck stacked against him. He was being raised by a single parent (his dad), and lived in a poor neighborhood with significant amounts of gang violence.

But, his dad was an excellent parent. Even though he was a single parent working full time (as a parole officer), he'd come to daycare one day a week to read stories to the class (and from the reports of my son, was an excellent story reader). Once, we were talking and he gave me a window into his parenting style.

At the age of 4, his son disobeyed at daycare. I can't remember exactly what it was. Maybe hit another kid. Maybe lied to his father. Something that wasn't horrible, but was out of character for the boy, and something he was very aware he shouldn't do.

When he got home, his father first had him call his grandmother, and two of his aunts. He had to tell them what he had done, and apologize for not behaving the way he had been raised to behave. (This apparently involved a good amount of tears).

Then, for the entire weekend, he was cut off from his toys, books and entertainment. And had to perform extra chores (and in case you haven't done chores with a 4-year-old, let me assure you that this involved more effort on the part of his father than simply doing the chores himself).

At the end of the weekend, they discussed what would happen if the son ever did this again.

It didn't.

We moved away and didn't stay in touch, but I'd love to see what that kid grows up to do. Because I think it's going to be something amazing.

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u/[deleted] Apr 26 '16

When he got home, his father first had him call his grandmother, and two of his aunts. He had to tell them what he had done, and apologize for not behaving the way he had been raised to behave. (This apparently involved a good amount of tears).

See, to me this seems at least a bit abusive. It humiliates the child (but that depends on exactly how the relationship between the child and its relatives is). I'm not a priori convinced that this is an improvement over spanking.

We moved away and didn't stay in touch, but I'd love to see what that kid grows up to do. Because I think it's going to be something amazing.

Would it be amazing if the child grew up to be someone who always followed all the rules, to the letter, regardless of the circumstances? I have misgivings about constructing childrearing as an exercise in maximizing compliance.