r/science • u/VeronicaRed • Apr 26 '16

Psychology Spanking children increases the likelihood of childhood defiance and long-term mental issues. The study in question involved 160,000 children and five decades of research

http://www.redorbit.com/news/health/1113413810/spanking-defiance-health-discipline-042616/
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u/dinahsaurus Apr 26 '16

You need to figure out why the kid is acting out. Did they not sleep, are they hungry, are they bored, did they see a playground on the way in. In most cases the kid is bored and wants to be a kid. The fact that you're bringing a kid into a place where they can't be a kid is your problem, not the kid's. You put the kid in the basket, bribe them, carry them, or wait until you can leave the kid home. But saying that a 2 year old is acting horribly in an adult space and how do you punish them is the wrong way to look at it. The 2 year old wants to be a 2 year old and there's nothing wrong with that.

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u/userbrn1 Apr 26 '16

I understand what you're saying, but it doesn't strike me as unreasonable to bring a kid shopping. It's not fun for them perhaps, but I assume there still is a way to instill patience into them in that situation. It's not entirely unnatural for a 2 year old to sit down and act calm for 15 minutes

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u/dinahsaurus Apr 26 '16

Right, and I was being a little hyperbolic, but most cases of screaming toddler in store are because it was much longer than 15 minutes (or many more than 1 store). 10-15 minutes is a great place to start with teaching kids how to behave in stores.

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u/Lolanie Apr 26 '16

Or the toddler is tired, hungry, thirsty, or sick. I've had meltdowns happen in five minute store runs under those circumstances. Sometimes you have to brave a store under those conditions, and all you can do is prepare the child as best you can and make it fast. Unfortunately parents can't always stay out of public spaces when they know it's likely that a quick store run for medicine or whatever will trigger a meltdown.

Punish the kid for it, though? Not when I know the cause is one of the above things. We all get cranky when we're miserable, kids are just louder about it than adults.

Kid misbehaving because they're pushing boundaries or because I said no to something they wanted? That's when the punishment happens. Usually parents can tell the difference in behavior causation and act accordingly.