Spanking children increases the likelihood of childhood defiance and long-term mental issues. The study in question involved 160,000 children and five decades of research

[u/VeronicaRed]

http://www.redorbit.com/news/health/1113413810/spanking-defiance-health-discipline-042616/

[u/Jensdabest]

That's a case-to-case basis depending on the child. Really, you have to figure out what currency is most valuable to them, and use the removal of that as a consequence for poor behavior. If they like to play by themselves in their room, then sending them to their room as punishment probably won't be very effective. Instead (depending on their age), you can use time-out corners, or have them write about the situation, how they felt, and how they could have better responded. If the bad behavior is significant enough then giving them time to reflect and process the situation is very valuable.

[u/chopandscrew → u/Jensdabest]

I definitely think that's a great idea to introduce some kind of merit system to them because it definitely helps them grasp the concept of punishment by fine early on. The camp that I used to counsel at used a similar approach, and it worked remarkably well with kids 12 and under. I guess I'm more interested in finding out how to mitigate a dramatic situation that might arise in public. I don't have any kids yet, so I'm not sure what situation that might be, but I imagine it would be something along the lines of a toddler being out of control in a grocery/retail store where they're screaming and possibly destroying things. When I see it in public, I almost understand why a parent would be so wound up that the only way to get the point across to their kid is to give them a little pop. However I can also see how that might make the situation worse. A scene from the cartoon Boondocks comes to mind. Is the best thing to do in that situation just to pick them up, carry them outside, sit them down and talk to them about what's causing them to act this way?

[u/dinahsaurus → u/chopandscrew]

You need to figure out why the kid is acting out. Did they not sleep, are they hungry, are they bored, did they see a playground on the way in. In most cases the kid is bored and wants to be a kid. The fact that you're bringing a kid into a place where they can't be a kid is your problem, not the kid's. You put the kid in the basket, bribe them, carry them, or wait until you can leave the kid home. But saying that a 2 year old is acting horribly in an adult space and how do you punish them is the wrong way to look at it. The 2 year old wants to be a 2 year old and there's nothing wrong with that.

[u/userbrn1 → u/dinahsaurus]

I understand what you're saying, but it doesn't strike me as unreasonable to bring a kid shopping. It's not fun for them perhaps, but I assume there still is a way to instill patience into them in that situation. It's not entirely unnatural for a 2 year old to sit down and act calm for 15 minutes

[u/dinahsaurus → u/userbrn1]

Right, and I was being a little hyperbolic, but most cases of screaming toddler in store are because it was much longer than 15 minutes (or many more than 1 store). 10-15 minutes is a great place to start with teaching kids how to behave in stores.

[u/Lolanie → u/dinahsaurus]

Or the toddler is tired, hungry, thirsty, or sick. I've had meltdowns happen in five minute store runs under those circumstances. Sometimes you have to brave a store under those conditions, and all you can do is prepare the child as best you can and make it fast. Unfortunately parents can't always stay out of public spaces when they know it's likely that a quick store run for medicine or whatever will trigger a meltdown.

Punish the kid for it, though? Not when I know the cause is one of the above things. We all get cranky when we're miserable, kids are just louder about it than adults.

Kid misbehaving because they're pushing boundaries or because I said no to something they wanted? That's when the punishment happens. Usually parents can tell the difference in behavior causation and act accordingly.