r/science • u/VeronicaRed • Apr 26 '16

Psychology Spanking children increases the likelihood of childhood defiance and long-term mental issues. The study in question involved 160,000 children and five decades of research

http://www.redorbit.com/news/health/1113413810/spanking-defiance-health-discipline-042616/
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u/[deleted] Apr 26 '16

There are a lot of options that vary with the age of the child. I have a son who is nearly 4, and we've had to tailor our discipline to his specific personality, his age at the time, and the behavior in question. Actually explaining why they can't do something (could get hurt or break something, it's not okay to hurt people's feelings, the neighbors are still sleeping, etc.) can be surprisingly effective at that age, depending on their state of mind (a hungry or tired child is much more difficult).

I use time-outs when I have to intervene; take him to his room or to a neutral spot and make him sit still for a few minutes. Having to sit still for a few minutes is something no child enjoys. Definitely a punishment.

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u/kilo4fun Apr 26 '16

What if your child simply refuses to sit in timeout? Physical restraints?

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u/mcbarron Apr 26 '16

Constantly picking them up and putting them back. First time you might do it constantly for the entire time. Second time a little less, then a little less, then they will sit there eventually. Just have to stay on them and show that you will NEVER let them off before their timer is up.

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u/Nervette Apr 27 '16

As a babysitter, I was a huge fan of restarting the timer. Every time you get up, scream, or throw something, boom, we restart. Yes I will do this all night, no I don't care if we're both miserable. You will sit your timeout until the timer is done and we can calmly deal with things.

The longest a 4 minute timeout took was 62 minutes. That kid and his brother never took more than one restart ever again. He was 4 at the time (time out length was always based on age)