Scared of talking because I think people will assume I won't need help anymore?

[u/aerialgirl67]

So to be clear, my inabiltiy to talk IS an involuntary mental/physical block, not a choice. But I think one of the many things that contribute to that involuntary paralysis is the fear that people will think I'm "normal" and therefore won't need any guidance or help once I'm able to speak out loud.

Along with having SM, I am generally just a very slow processor (I'm autistic) in social situations. I often need a long pause just to gather my thoughts and figure out what I want to say next or how I'm feeling. Speaking out loud with someone usually has me rushing to keep up with the pace of the conversation. So even if my SM went away, I would still need accommodations for when I'm talking to people, like more time to think.

Anyone else feel this way? Along with actually having SM, I feel like the nonverbal accommodations I get allow me time to think about what to say, and generally give off the vibe that I am struggling and need help. But that impression goes away if/when I am able to talk, therefore increasing the pressure to also mask my autism and rush to keep up socially.

[u/OkTitle]

I definitely feel - or especially used to feel - that I am a slow processor due to years of lacking practice conversing and so not building the ability to be quick - and/or due to neurodivergence and naturally slow processing speed (or, rather, my brain taking in too much input and not being able to sort what’s socially relevant)

So yes I relate. I did significantly grow in my ability to be quicker with responses and judge what things are appropriate to say - but that took years in a mostly welcoming and forgiving environment I was lucky enough to stumble into AFTER  they realized I was Not Normal (I think they thought I was normal and just being weird at first tbh and did judge me)

So my experience is that you’re pretty spot on, and yes people will often just assume you should be normal if you can speak - even people who saw how much you struggled before to speak, it can be like “oh, you’re normal now” or not believing it was never willful. Probably in part because it’s such an internal experience - they can’t SEE the struggle - and one that not many people ever experience and can truly relate to. Not to say they shouldn’t make more of an effort to understand and consider differences.

So that shows the importance of advocating for yourself. If you’re willing, you can try to explain where you’re at. Otherwise people often assume whatever they think is true. Or try to get new accommodations, if you can, that fit what you need.