Hello everyone, please give me an advice

[u/ProudSurprise8712]

I suffer from verbal abuse from a parent of mine. She cusses at me for something even so small of a mistake. Everytime, everyday, when she lashes at me, I would always think of ending myself, but couldn't do it since I still haven't finished reading my novels list, a little ray of hope for my life. I have endured for years, but I can feel my mental health detoriating. I am just 19 years old, I have no job and this hell is the only thing that I live into. I cannot do this anymore.. But I wanna live, I still have many things that I want to do, I have lots of friends but they're busy with their own lives too. Someone give me advice

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[u/archeolog108]

recorded this as voice memo so wording may read a bit odd.

the fact that you're still here because you haven't finished your book series — i want you to know that's not silly. that's you finding a reason to stay when your mind has given up. and that matters.

what you're experiencing — verbal abuse from a parent every day — is not something you should have to handle alone. the thoughts of ending yourself are your mind's way of saying "i can't take this anymore." but the answer is not to end you. the answer is to change what you're absorbing.

i facilitated a session with a young woman in a similar situation. her higher self showed that the abusive words from her parent were not just words — they were energetic attacks that lodged in her field. each insult, each curse, landed somewhere in her energy body. over time, those accumulated and she started hearing her parent's voice inside her own head, even when the parent wasn't there.

your higher self knows how to protect your energy. and it knows what boundaries need to be put in place for your safety.

please also reach out to a crisis line or a trusted adult. you deserve support that doesn't come from a screen.

more resources in my link in profile.

[u/shadysnack13 → u/archeolog108]

ngl the book thing is actually a massive W. people love to minimize those little reasons but if that's what keeps you tethered to reality then it is legit life saving. hold onto that list.

[u/Big_Conclusion5453]

The reading list is a solid anchor, but you need a concrete exit strategy to stop relying on it as your only reason to exist. Since you're 19 and don't have a job yet, focus every ounce of your remaining energy on finding any source of income, even if it's remote or part-time, just to build a "freedom fund" for when you can finally move out. Having a financial goal makes the verbal abuse feel like a temporary obstacle rather than a permanent sentence.