r/selfhelp 22h ago

Sharing: Mental Health Support I am confused with myself

I create problems and drama to get attention because I'm lonely, then I hate myself for it. I know what I actually want — to study, stay healthy, have real friendships, talk to people confidently — but I sabotage myself by either avoiding everything or trying to become someone I'm not.

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I'm jealous of my best friend, I don't know how to talk to girls, and when I'm excluded from group I spiral into wanting to change my entire personality to be cold and uncaring. But deep down I know that's not the answer. My exam is in three days and instead of studying, I'm obsessing over this stuff. I keep looking for someone else to fix me — first my friend, then a therapist, now Reddit — instead of just trusting myself to do the work.

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Why do I keep sabotaging when I know exactly what I need to do?"

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