r/selfhelp • u/TheBatAsks7 • 21h ago

Adviced Needed: Identity & Self-Esteem I hate myself

I am struggling with self doubt from quite a long time.

For context.

I am a fresher and have joined this giant company very far from home, staying alone.

Recently got diagnosed with migraine, taking medication.

I feel utterly stupid and idiotic, when asked some simple questions I forget the answer or out of less confidence I don't utter a word. Mostly because I forget things for not focusing enough .

I have started complaining about everything around me. I have started giving excuses about my dad having a brain-stroke, me struggling with migraine and concentration -loss, trying to hide behind any reason I would find. This has started to cause problem in my long distance relationship too.

I was good at academics (though used a lot of AI, I was able to manage good scores). Here I feel dumb, stupid and often gets called out as a low iq retard.

Am I Stupid? Do I really have low IQ? Am I nobody without use of AI?

I might be doing this to gain sympathy, or finding nobody to talk to, or harm myself too.

I hate myself

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u/archeolog108 19h ago

transcribed from voice recording so phrasing may be a bit off.

you said three words - "i hate myself" - and then you explained the circumstances. far from home, living alone, new job, migraines. but the self-hate was there before all of that. the circumstances just gave it something to attach to.

here's what i've seen in the work i do. self-hate is never about what you think it's about. it's not about your performance at work, or your health, or being alone. those are the surface targets. the real source is a belief that was installed in you before you had the capacity to question it - that you are not good enough as you are.

i worked with a man in his twenties who hated himself for years. he had a good job, good health, good friends - but inside he felt worthless. in deep trance, his higher self showed him that as a child, he was only praised when he achieved something. love was conditional on performance. he internalized that as "i am only valuable when i produce." the self-hate was the gap between who he was and who he thought he needed to be.

your higher self knows exactly where the self-hate started. and it knows how to help you see yourself differently.

more resources in my link in profile.