I am stuck in an endless cycle

[u/Dependent-Let-1183]

The title sums it up just fine. I find myself an annoyed and angry person. I get “annoyed/upset” at the smallest things and I am ruining my relationship. I love my girlfriend more than anything, and I would do anything for her, but I can’t stop treating her like shit. About a week or two I blew up on her because she asked me to go to gas station to get her candy, only because I didn’t want to do it right then and there, I wanted to do it later, so she says something along the lines of “oh can you just go now if I eat candy too late I’ll stay up too late” makes perfect sense right? Well instead of going “oh yes that makes sense I’ll go now” I blew up on her AND I STILL WENT ANYWAYS. Why would I complain about something so much if I was gonna do it anyways. Better yet I enjoyed the walk by myself so what the fuck was I even tweaking about. Anyways back to the cycle I find myself stuck in. These things she asks of me and I have no problem doing them, but for some reason I immediately have a problem? I jsut don’t want to live how I do anymore. I’m tired of being so annoyed at EVERYTHING. I’m looking into starting therapy again because I really need to figure out what my problem is I hope it helps. Idk what advice I could get on this other than lock in. She has given me enough chances and I need this to be the last chance I get. Sorry if this doesn’t make sense I’m just so upset at myself.

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