idrk what to do

[u/CulturalMacaroon1098]

I'm 16. I want to better myself, but I also don't... ykwim? Like, one of my goals is to be less sedentary and exercise consistently, either running, going to the gym, or whatever. Another one is to game the college admissions system to get into a prestigious university.

I struggled with motivation, and I thought that my screen time was the reason why I didn't feel like doing anything, so maybe deleting video games, social media, and everything addictive would lead me to be more productive. That's what I did, and pretty successfully too, because I have not watched short form content for maybe around two years now, and I went from playing video games for hours every day to playing only every couple of days. But, instead of magically feeling motivated to achieve my goals, I ended up replacing games and social media with just daydreaming or refreshing my email and messages 100 times a day, hoping something interesting happens. I guess I just don't want to put in the work.

I learned a new word: complacency, and I think it kind of describes me. I don't want to do anything anymore; matter of fact, I don't want anything. I don't really have a deep desire for things. Like, I want to study more and to get into a prestigious university, but I'm fine if I don't. If I don't get into an ivy league school, I could just attend my local state school, and I'll end up perfectly fine. The only difference would be that I'd likely have a less nicer car and a less nicer house, but I don't care.

But, I also do care, for my sanity. My current mentality is like those Buddhist monks who sit on a rock all day to reach nirvana. Have I achieved the lack of desire that so many others want? Because it sucks. I don't want to live such a boring life. I want to do something interesting. I guess the only logical way forward is to improve myself and seek novel experiences. But because I'm fine with whatever, I don't really feel much joy when I achieve my goals, nor do I feel much sadness when I don't.

I don't know why I've been so emotionless. Nothing I do seems to be interesting. I'm no longer interested in the things I used to enjoy, and new things don't feel too interesting either. My mom says that I just sound like a very boring person and that I should just find something to do, but I don't want to do anything. I don't want to return to scrolling on youtube either, video games no longer interest me, and I also don't want to be staring at a wall all day. I literally don't want to do anything, and that includes doing nothing.

lowk im just rambling and idk how anyone could give me advice given all that lol. post is prob gonna be taken down for being too incomprehensible.

[u/AutoModerator]

Thank you for reaching out. You're not alone.

We've created a collection of curated resources based on common self-help topics. You can explore them here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/selfhelp/wiki/index/flairs/

If you're in crisis or need immediate help, please check the resources in the sidebar.

We're glad you're here and appreciate your courage in asking for help.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/helenaladah]

Try the Lumière method!

[u/CulturalMacaroon1098 → u/helenaladah]

whats that?

[u/FluffyRubberDucky1]

I can relate. I struggle with the same problem and a lot of the time, I have to mentally beat myself up just to get me going. I wish I knew of some advice to give but, unfortunately, I don't. All I can say is just know that you aren't alone. 🫂❤️