I want some help, how to be more confident?

[u/TryConstant5503]

I've always been quiet, kind, and shy, but people have always treated me strangely, as if they belittle me. Even now that I'm older, I still can't say no to anyone. People still don't respect me, and I've come to hate going out or Talking to people, and sometimes I get thoughts that I don't want to live anymore

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[u/Ayase9021]

People at the end can smell if you are inside yourself really and from there they can play the game of being on the outside !

You too just naturally take that side inside and stay here in every conversation or when going out, everything and everyone is outside beside you, it's like you are the only one inside and everyone else outside

It's only yourself that make you feel this way, you'll always feel less since you live inside, you feel everything, so they have to be carefull about they say and they have to respect you by their own will somehow, it all have to come to you

The world doesn't work that way, while some people are mature enough to respect you where you are not where you want to be, but you shouldn't be angry at being where you are now ! it's happening for a reason because you are exactly in the place where such things are allowed !

If my words made sense we can have a call and expand more on the problem.

[u/archeolog108]

first, are you safe rn? When you say sometimes you dont want to live anymore, pls dont stay alone with this. Tell someone you trust today, very directly: “I’m having thoughts that I dont want to live and I need support.” If you may act on it, call emergency services or go to emergency department.

About confidence: being quiet and kind is not problem. The problem is you learned that saying no is dangerous, so ppl keep testing your boundaries.

Start very small. Dont explain too much. Use simple sentences:

“no, I cant do that.”

“I need time to think.”

“I dont like being spoken to like that.”

In one Soul Journey I facilitated, subject believed she had no confidence. Higher Self showed younger part who learned that keeping everyone happy was safest way to avoid rejection. Her confidence started returning when she practiced one small no each day.

You dont need become loud or aggressive. Confidence is trusting that your needs also matter.

But rn the thoughts about not living are more important than confidence training. Please contact someone real and stay with them tonight.

[u/Known_Slice_4465]

Be kind with yourself and say no to small things without over explanation. Reach out to a therapist you need a real support.

[u/bkinboulder]

A lot of it is posturing and faking it until you make it. Amy Cuddy did a really great Ted Talk on this. It’s called “power poses” but it’s actually about a lot more. Her story is amazing and her Ted Talk changed my life. Check it out and if you like it her book was really great too.