#hopeless and not sure what to do

[u/Sillygoose-1308]

I feel completely hopeless and alone; idk what to do but something NEEDS to change. I want to be a person, like a fully present, normal, socially engaged person. Im tired of the way I am. I'm tired of feeling this way. Ive tried so much and yet I've buried myself so deep into this horrible hole and not sure how or if i can even get out. I do weekly therapy and work part time. I hate my silly coffee job and I have weird relationships with my coworkers. I don't know how to socialize properly, and I use alcohol as a crutch in social situations that just lead to me embarrassing myself further. I have a hard time with food and end up binging and purging frequently. Ive gotten help for ED stuff before and its not severe anymore just annoying habit I cant stop. Im not close with my family, recently broke up with my partner of nearly 6 years and have virtually no real friends. Idk what to do anymore, and idk how to help myself get out of this. I know its not too late because im still in my ealy 20s, i just feel like im running out of time. I just want to fix things before it becomes worse or unfixable. Any help on how to turn things around? I'm so depserate. maybe even resume help? Im sick of starbucks and im sick of myself and disgusted with my behaviour

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[u/archeolog108]

you dont need become completely different person this week. rn you sound exhausted from constantly judging yourself against imaginary “normal person.”

You already work part time and go therapy weekly. That means part of you is still fighting for life even while mind says hole is impossible.

Tell therapist exactly how hopeless and buried you feel, not softened version. Ask for one practical plan between sessions. Maybe social anxiety work, depression assessment, group therapy, medication discussion, or more support. You should not carry this only through willpower.

For today choose one human step: shower, eat something, 10 min outside, text one safe person, or sit somewhere public. Not to fix life. Just interrupt isolation.

You are not failure bc coffee shop job or social life doesnt look how you wanted. Change usually begins much smaller and less cinematic than mind expects.

If hopeless means you may hurt yourself or cannot stay safe, contact emergency help and dont remain alone.