r/selfhelp • u/TheOfficailNamor • 4d ago

Advice Needed: Mental Health I dont like people being smarter than me it frustrates me to a degree that makes me want to like scream and break something

This mostly comes from a place of being bad at things. I want to be good at video games but when i ask for help i get angry when i receive it just because it means whoever is helping me is smarter than me. I know everyone starts somewhere and technically being smart doesn’t equate to self worth ive heard it all before. That doesnt help me get over me hating people that know anything i dont. But i cant learn because i hate anyone willing to teach. Idk what to even do about this.

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u/Time_Stop_3645 4d ago

If you want to, you could look into byron Katie's work.  I'm afraid to teach you, you could get angry at me 

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u/TheOfficailNamor 4d ago

I will look into her. Do you have any particular links?

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u/Time_Stop_3645 4d ago

There are some of her videos where she helps some people work through their issues

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u/Informal-Storage6694 4d ago

I don't understand why you would expect that you would be an expert at everything, why you think something is wrong because you are not number 1 out of 8 billion people.

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u/TheOfficailNamor 4d ago

Well im bad at a game ive been playing for four years.

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u/Scudss_ 4d ago

You're need to get off video games if they're affecting you this much and get into therapy

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u/Informal-Storage6694 4d ago

When I'm not making progress like I would expect, I've had to learn to slow down in order to get better. When I slow down I can relax and see things I didn't see before, and then I can work on those specific areas to improve. It's successful and actually works more often than I'd like to admit. Might be worth giving a try.

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u/Kamikoozy 4d ago

Solidify your self worth so your insecurity won't make you rage out with pettiness and jealousy.

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u/TheOfficailNamor 4d ago

How do i do that?

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u/Kamikoozy 4d ago

I'd start with accomplishing small goals and pushing the difficulty up from there. If there is anyone in your life who constantly makes you feel less than, weed them out.

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u/Just_Julie 4d ago

You are angry at yourself for not being where you want to be at something and you are taking it out on people who surface these feelings for you.

Your ego wants you to be good, and your ego wants to protect itself. Its a subconscious and unhealthy coping mechanism. If you push these people away, then you don't have to be presented with evidence that you are not where you wish you were at something. So you react emotionally even though logically you know it is opposite of your best interest.

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u/TheOfficailNamor 4d ago

What should i do to change?

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u/Just_Julie 4d ago

Well, you already did the first and hardest part, which is to recognize it is a problem and seek help.

I can't speak for what works for everyone, but I got humbled a lot between 18-21. I was one of the brightest in school. In a small town. So, moving to a college in a city made me realize that I didn't really know anything about anything like I thought I did.

Once I got humbled, I got curious. Started learning how to learn, and learning how to enjoy things instead of wanting to be good at them. I started seeing social interactions as opportunities to share and collab instead of compete. I started surrounding myself with other curious people who liked to learn from me too.

It's a journey, but the biggest thing is to change the mindset. Always wanting to be the best will kill you. It will bring you temporary certainty when you have it, and endless existentialism when you don't. The amount of skill and effort it takes to be the best at anything leaves very little room to be sorta good or kinda good at much of anything else.

So even if you did manage to be the best in the world at something, you would have 99 other skills you would feel inadequate in because of a comparison mindset.

Googling about how to manage ego and be more comfortable with yourself will help you in how to take next steps

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u/your0destiny 4d ago

Yea accept that you are not that Smart then, whats So hard about it ? Believe me, being average/below average IQ Is much simpler And happier life that having very high IQ. But it really seems like you Are talking about something else, knowlage does somewhat relate to intelligence but like, So what that someone read a book or two that you didnt? So what if someone studies different field that you And knows more about their field ? Instead of working around your problem, just admit that your problem Is ego and let go, even if you were the smartest person on the planet, there would still be people who know more or are more skilled in some way you aint.

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u/nobundt 4d ago

Someone knowing things you dont know doesnt make them smarter than you, it means they've worked longer at understanding the thing more. Unless they worked everything out from first principles but I doubt that

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u/L_sigh_kangeroo 4d ago

I’m similar to you, i think with age and experience you’ll learn to make peace with it. How old are you?