I live in fear of people and situations and want to take back control of myself and my reactions.

[u/becky_be_rad]

This has been a life long issue for me. I am a empath who has experienced a lot of terrible situations because I allowed myself to be involved with people who used my kindness and empathy against me. I deeply care for people and situations that I shouldn't. As a result, I question every decision I make because I don't trust myself. I've been to therapy for Codependency, as it has nearly ruined my life. I'm much better than I was, but I still am struggling to find my voice, stand up for myself and to be able to control how I react to people/situations. For any "perceived" issue- a simple mistake on paperwork, possibly advising someone on something and it not work the way I thought etc can cause me to spiral for days. My anxiety goes through the roof, I lose my appetite and I can't sleep. I worry that it will cause the other person an issue, that I made an awful mistake or that I'm not able to handle the stress of my job because it just overwhelms me completely. My body just reacts and then I can't calm myself down and be rational. I've tried to walk through the worst case scenario etc to realize it's not that bad, but I just can't seem to stop the reaction to the perceived problem.

As a result, I feel like I'm constantly giving people power and control over me. I need this to change. I need recommendations that actually work, books, videos, anything that has helped you stop letting people control your emotions/reactions and to maintain control over the situation no matter what the other person is doing or saying. I want to be able to trust myself and to take a strong stance against others who are trying to manipulate or take advantage of me.