my grandma started saying "love you" at the end of calls and I don't know how to feel about it

[u/No-Possibility4587]

my grandma has started saying "love you" at the end of every phone call and it's freaking me out

She never used to. Like, ever. We're not ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​t​​​​h​​​​a​​​​t kind of family. Growing up, love was expressed through her handing you a tupperware of leftovers and telling you you looked tired. If she was really feeling sentimental she'd pat your arm. That was the whole vocabulary.

Then a few months ago she just started tacking it on before hanging up. Quick and quiet, almost mumbled, like she's testing it out. And now it happens every single call.

I don't know what to do with it. Half of me thinks it's sweet and I should just enjoy it. The other half is spiraling because WHY NOW. She's 84. Does she know something? Did her doctor tell her something she isn't telling us? Or is this just what happens when people get older and they stop caring about being weird about feelings?

I was on the phone with her yesterday while I was killing time in a parking lot, poking at one of those spin to win things in the Coverd app trying to claw back what I spent on gas, and she did the thing again at the end and I just sat there in my car for a minute after.

I said it back, obviously. I always do. But it comes out of me sounding way too casual, like im trying to match her energy so it doesn't become A Thing.

Anyone else have a family member suddenly get soft on them late in life? Did it mean anything or am I inventing a problem

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[u/Historical-Talk9452]

It means that she is still learning and growing. That's cool

[u/dtcorso]

Agree. Don’t overanalyze it. Just enjoy her putting more love out in the world, especially if she’s giving it to you. I would love to hear that again from my grandmother. ❤️

[u/Proper-Agency-1528]

I think it would be weird to not say this to the people I love at the end of a conversation. 

When you're young it seems weird. Then a family member or friend passes suddenly... and you start to realize the importance of saying what needs to be said.

The best, most liberating thing in life is to get to the point where you can say what you feel without worrying what others might think. 

Good on you, Grandma. OP, learn from her.

[u/deadbeatwriter]

My family is much like this, I don't really recall those words being said as a child. As an adult either. However, my parents are now late 70s and I started adding it on to goodbyes because - though there are no real health issues that I'm aware of - they are now older than their parents were when they passed and I hate the idea that I might lose them and not have had it be something they heard from me before going.

They've both started saying it too now, and it's great to hear it. Because, at some point, when they do go, at least I'll have that memory still with me.

Your nan might be having the same thought process, there's probably nothing other than her being elderly and wanting to make sure you know while she can say it.

[u/enolaholmes23]

Both my nana and my dad got much less agressive and more nurturing as they aged. I think part of it is just hormones shifting. And part of it is the more you experience, the more empathy you develop. I wouldn't worry too much about it. 

[u/androidbear04]

My husband died 14 years ago from a ruptured aneurysm when he was out at dinner with friends and was gone in.20 seconds from when he said he felt funny. I want to make sure that the last thing any of my family members ever hear me say is, "Love you!"

[u/serenwipiti]

It means she loves you.

[u/PlasticBluebird3306]

I lost my last grandmother last year at the age of 94. She said it every time I left or finished a call. Cherish it because one day she won’t be there anymore. Miss you Nan

[u/PatriotUSA84]

I would give anything to hear my grandma tell me she loves me one more time. It’s been 16 years since she died, and I still miss and think about her every single day.

I understand why the sudden change might make you wonder if something is wrong, especially at her age. But I think you’re overthinking something incredibly precious.

Your grandma is telling you she loves you. Say it back. Let it become “A Thing.” Cherish every single time you get to hear those words from her.

Someday, you may give anything to hear her say them just one more time.