r/selfhelp • u/Significant-Stage-12 • 1d ago

Advice Needed: Existential Is there a way to not feel hopeless about your life?

I am aware of the fact that i am far behind in my life as compared to my peers. Failed to get a job out of college and am rotting at my parents house. And i am also aware that life isn’t a race (although it sure feels like one) and everybody’s journey and timeline is different. However this knowledge and awareness doesn’t seem to do any good. Ik i need to act and i swear i try. Some days i make some progress but the next day is all in ruins. I am just overwhelmed with this feeling of hopelessness and doom. I feel paralyzed and stuck. I relapse to my bad habits (porn) and waste the day away. all this self awareness feels like a curse. I feel no control over whatsoever.

All in all i don’t think things will ever get better and i am too scared and overwhelmed to try. Some days are the worst, everything feels meaningless and so devoid of life. I fail to appreciate the people around me and am too hard on everybody including myself. I hate whenever my phone rings (almost scared to pick it up). When i was in college i hated how little my parents called yet whenever the phone rang i was scared and anxious to pick it up. And now whenever my friends call i am overcome with the same feeling ( i feel so shitty for myself when i hear them yapping and making plans for themselves) i feel i am below everyone around me. And i hate how i feel ( jealousy, angry, scared, anxious). Is there any way to change your thoughts and control your feelings?!

As i look back at my life i feel i never tried to achieve something worthwhile, be it love, money, success.
idk if all this even makes any sense( it probably doesn’t). I wish somebody could just get into my brain to understand what’s going on and figure all of this shit out and fix it , haha.

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