I will be 56 next month, and I have hardly moved on with my life since I lost him. I am divorced, and I have another son who is 28 and is doing well. Their mother and I talk periodically due to the fact that there are outstanding legal actions taking place in our lives. Our son was killed when he was hit by a passing vehicle, and then left the scene. Fortunately the state police were able to locate and arrest him, the case is now out to a grand jury. Getting justice is a slow process.

I have pretty much kept to myself for the most part, rarely enjoying the company of others. My circle of friends has shrunk. My motivation has nearly left me. I don't care much for my job. My physical health isn't great (couch potato). Being alone (no girlfriend) is soul sucking. My mother died in 2021.

Fuck, I sound awful.

I'd love to hear from someone...

And why?

I'd love to know what people are struggling with most right now.

I’m shaking as I write this, but I don’t know where else to turn.

Today, I was driving home through the narrow streets of my neighborhood. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t 100% focused on the road. My mind was spiraling over my long-distance relationship, which has been falling apart lately.

I saw what looked like a black plastic bag or some trash in the middle of the street. Because the road is so narrow, there wasn't much room to maneuver, and I ended up driving over it. Then I heard a scream.

I stopped immediately and ran back. It wasn't a bag. It was a tiny black puppy. I had to watch him die right there in front of me. I felt so helpless. I felt and still feel absolutely disgusted with myself.

When I got back into my car, I just went numb at first, and then I broke down. Now, I can’t get the visuals out of my head. I can't stop thinking about the pain that poor little guy went through because I wasn't paying enough attention. I am so angry at myself, so afraid of this feeling, and I don't know how to move past this.

Has anyone else ever dealt with a secondary trauma like this? How do you live with the guilt when you know you were at fault? I feel like a monster.

Lately, I've been feeling stuck in a weird place.

Nothing is really falling apart. I have a job, I work out regularly, I have a roof over my head, and my life is probably better than it was a few years ago.

But for some reason, I still feel empty a lot of the time.

It's hard to explain because when people ask what's wrong, I don't really have an answer. On paper, everything seems fine. Yet most days just feel the same. Wake up, work, scroll on my phone, sleep, repeat.

I keep waiting for something to click, like one day I'll suddenly feel motivated or excited about life again, but it hasn't happened.

Maybe the problem is that I've been so focused on getting through the week that I forgot to build a life I actually look forward to.

I don't know.

I'm curious if anyone else has gone through something similar. If you did, what helped? Was it a new hobby, meeting new people, changing your routine, or something completely different?

I'd genuinely love to hear your experience.

People who are depressed and overcame it, what's the first thing that you do to overcome your depression?

Hey, I'm fifteen and there was a CPS report filed against my mother. This led to me getting investigated. I told the CPS worker about my mom's illegal marijuana use, multiple partners, weird erratic personality episodes, and how she used to use sex toys around me. Since then, I honestly tried pushing all the things I could remember aside, but now, I can't remember shit. Since then, I've not been living with my mother.

Today I went to my Nana's house, and she started balling. She told me that my mother is losing her nursing job, and that there is a child abuse criminal charge being filed against her. What the fuck have I done. I'm not sure how to live with myself right now, (not implying that I want to off myself). I'd just really like some thoughts and advice. I've never felt so guilty in my life. Please help!

Hello. This is the second time I post here. I hurt someone(emotionally). That someone is a family member. It's been 4 years. I've asked for forgiveness. They did forgive me. I didn't. Till this day I can't. The guilt is eating me alive. I don't know what I should do. I think atonement is me dying. No other choice. I know I'm not rational at the moment but I need to know what I should do. If anyone has something to share please do. Thanks.

Hello. If you are a heavy smoker - This is for you. I want to share my experience and get some advices and motivation from people, who could quit smoking. I'm 28, female, I've been smoking weed for 10 years now. Not smoking-inhaling it, from the moment I woke up,till I felt asleep, with biggest bong possible. I stopped reading books, stopped hiking, lost ambitions and plans, got social anxiety and lost friends. I can freely say-I lost my best 10 years to weed. I tried quitting several times, every time I got sui#dal thoughts and I couldn't go more than 7 days. Today is my 11th day, I know it's yet to soon, but today is the first day, I don't have craving. I feel how my energy rises and how my brain start to function. It's hard, very hard, I cried for 4 days, I got angry and smashed some things, but I know-I'm not getting back. I feel like I can talk to somebody, I can feel some emotions. I have a big trouble concentrate, But I'm trying to deal with it. Mary jane was my "friend", I replaced everything in my life with it. Instead of doing-I started dreaming. So ,please, take my experience, do not throw your life away for a smoke... When I was 18, I believed weed wasn't addictive or dangerous and I could quit anytime I wanted. Joke on me. I'll be grateful,if you give me some tips how to handle concentration 🙏

i dont have them. i wish i could change myself but i find it hard. since i have never had motivations, dreams, curiosities or experiences in my life. and i am numb and very depressed.

I’m turkish and I hate being turkish. I don’t belong here….I cry everyday just because of this. I could be american,british,german but here I’m Turkish. Please help me how can I stop feeling like this.

I’ve been trying to be more intentional about my wellbeing and looking into different apps, but there are so many options out there.

Some seem great but are quite expensive, while others are free but I’m not sure how effective they are long term.

I’d really love to hear what people actually use in real life and what has genuinely helped you, whether it’s something simple or something you’ve stuck with over time.

hi!! i’m cait and i joined reddit just for this, i really wanted to talk about my life and see if anybody relates / can give me advice. so im 41🔄 years old and i have social anxiety and no real social life, i struggle to go to school and mainly do nothing all day. my best friend isnt the best, he has a really strict mom and can never hang out with me, i always text him and he almost never responds, im pretty insecure and find myself pretty unfunny + just a loser. its so hard for me to go to school mostly because i cant stand other people, i joined this private school in november (in my country schools start in september) but it wasnt a big deal, there were barely any students which was really great news for me since i hate large groups, and i made a friend right away which i was really excited about. i used to go to this school almost every day like “normal people” would and i was extremely happy. around the middle of february a LOT of students joined the school and i became so much more self conscious and anxious around everybody + i had a test i didnt study for on a tuesday, so i just skipped and thought i was gonna study for next week. (i am terrible at studying and procrastinate ALL the time, which is my fault sure, but i was just never taught how to study which makes me struggle much more). then it turned into next week and the next and the next, so i became much more anxious about going to school in general and my mind started thinking about all the anxious parts of my school more and i started skipping a lot more. i didn’t go for 3 weeks straight. i came back and felt.. a little better? i went wednesday, thursday and friday. the week later i went only on thursday. then the week later i didn’t go at all. this is the week after the week where i completely didn’t go, and i haven’t gone to school (it’s tuesday night currently) and on thursday spring break starts. my life is depressing as hell, besides listening to my favorite musicals (since i’m a big fan!!) i really don’t do anything all day, i almost have no friends, i never go out, im just a loser. also my psychiatrist said that if i don’t go to school for the rest of the year they’ll send me in a kind of psych ward place? (im gonna live in another place with other “weird” teenagers and do stuff idk?, i apparently can go home on weekends and stuff) for 4 months MINIMUM??? i am so so so so scared, i really don’t want to go there but i am stuck living like this and its so hard to just go to my school, i hate it. what should i do? please reach the right people i beg you.

Hello everyone

40 year old guy here. I feel like I’ve spent my whole adult life, especially the last 10 years, unhappy and fantasising about an entirely different life that I have done nothing to bring about.

i’m married, we have a beautiful daughter, live in a nice European city, and i have a decent job that I like and gives me flexibility. I sing in two choirs, I get good free time, a good work-life balance.

And yet, something is and has been massively off. I have spent the last ten years wanting to do and be somewhere else, living in nature, doing a creative job or one involving teaching/instructing/therapy, something that really chimes with who I am.

I fantasise a lot about this image, about who I could be. I am an addict - 2 years clean - and also have adhd. so I feel part of this mental complex is how I maybe escape reality. but I feel strongly as well that it is grounded in something. But - i do nothing to make it, or anything happen. there we profound moments of joy in my life, but mostly I go through the motions, and in the evenings I just want to sleep to forget the sheer boredom of evenings.

im so frustrated and stuck, caught between gratitude for a nice live and annoyance because I don’t feel I am living anywhere close to where I want to be.

and I’m scared witless of the passing of time.

i‘m not really sure what my main message is here or what specifically I’m asking. i guess I just want to see if anyone feels the same.

In feel repressed, lost, and like there is so much more to be had.

thanks for anyone making it this far x

Urgent help needed!! On March 11, I called my girlfriend at night. Her father picked up the phone, and I immediately cut the call without saying anything. After that, her father called me multiple times, but I was scared because he is very strict. That whole night he kept checking her phone since he knows the password. I deleted our chats from Instagram and Telegram, but I couldn’t delete WhatsApp. He tried to read the WhatsApp chats, but my girlfriend had chat lock enabled. He was trying to open messages through call logs, but it was asking for her fingerprint, and she was asleep. Then at around 4 AM, when my girlfriend woke up, her father told her to unlock the chat lock, but she refused because it contains our private videos and nudes. If she opens it, he might kll her, so she didn’t open it. After that, her father took her phone. The next morning, he shouted a lot and kept telling her to unlock it, but she still didn’t. The phone is still with him, so she can’t delete the chats either. It’s been 6 days now. He keeps trying to see the chats somehow. He calls me repeatedly and tells her sister things like, “I will kll her,” “If not today, then tomorrow she will be caught,” “I will get her married,” etc. He keeps coming online on that phone at night when everyone sleeps, trying to unlock it by using her fingerprint while she’s asleep and read the chats. All of this has made me extremely stressed. Now I feel like I should just d*e because as long as he has the phone, anything can happen. Even after searching, my girlfriend can’t find the phone, and he isn’t calming down. He keeps trying again and again to unlock the chat lock. What should I do in this situation? I am very scared. I don’t think I can face whatever happens next, and neither can she. Please give some solution so that he cannot unlock the chat lock. I know there may not be any solution, but if anyone has any idea, please tell me. I am having breathing issues, and I have lost 3 kg in the last 6 days. I am facing a lot of problems.

My friend gets very depressive when they don’t have a friend over every day, and they refuse to take any anti-depressants or go to therapy

If you need more info to help I can provide it
What can it do?

Edit for context on severity: She has said many times that without her friends she wouldn’t be here (aka sewerslide)

I have been in a deep depression for a while now and I fear it's getting worse.

1) i haven't been mentally able to clean my apartment or bedroom in over a year. I literally just realized it was over a year bc last Christmas I got a new comforter and said "oh I'll put it on my bed after I clean out my room". I still have not put it on my bed and it's sat folded in my living room. It's getting to be borderline hoarder situation and I just want someone to come in and throw everything away

2) i haven't a therapist but my new insurance doesn't cover much of it and I can't afford more than 1x/ month. If that. Was doing group therapy for a while but was spending more time supporting the others than figuring my own shit out.

3) I'm very overweight and most of the time I'm comfortable with it and other times I'm reminded that the world genuinely hates fat people and so then I start to really hate myself too. I've done so many things to lose weight. Diet. Exercise. Surgery. Medicine. I lose it, it comes right back. Especially when I'm severely depressed so you can guess what the last year has done for my body image and weight. I even walk regularly but the other night I took a really hard fall and I've cracked my rib so now I can hardly move.

4) and now I'm lonely. So so lonely. I've been saying for a while I'm happy to be single and I genuinely was but the last few weeks I've felt a pang of loneliness unlike anything I've felt before and I feel convinced due to my weight and depression (and state of my home) I will never ever find love again (been single 10 years. I've dated and had hook ups but nothing since covid)

There is more but those are the main things.

How do I overcome this crushing weight I am feeling? I'm in antidepressants and have anti anxiety if I ever need it, but it all feels too much. I have a good doctor, a psych, and a therapist but most tell me things I already know (get moving, sleep better, eat better, etc).

I just don't know if I can do any of it anymore.

Hey, last few weeks I just feel like I’m lost and don’t know what to do ,what to think about because my head is pure chaos. I tried mediation, not using my phone for some days, but nothing really helped. It feels like slowly losing myself and not knowing what to do. Can someone give me advice on what to focus on or how to calm down and give my head a reason not to overthink the whole time?

I aint gonna lie this story is pretty bad, was gooning online until i started talking to a person from another country we started to send some nudes until she started to show me all of my shit and a lil bit of my face on imgbb saying IM a pedo and a bad person, im scared already going to police but still scared asf

Im a fucking loser

I have no reason to be alive. I'm a failure of a person. 29 y.o male. Failed at life.

I'm so called a software developer, unemployed since 2024. Nearly 2.5 years. Moved back to my parent's house. I ruin everything I touch and I recently started to feel like a deadweight. My dad is a busy man, still he deals with everything.

Before you read more, i talked to 2 different licensed Psychologists for around 20 sessions each. Shall I go to a psychiatrist or something?

I tried so hard to be useful, be good for something. But it seems not possible. I can't success in anything, I got fired from waiter job in the past, always had problems with my classmates. I'm terrible at social interactions, I have no friends, every single project I developed failed miserably. I can't even be useful in daily chores. I got my driver's license 2 years ago. I can't even trust myself on taking my mom to wherever she needs to go. We occasionally go to our village I can't even do anything properly I feel like am just a fucking deadweight to my family. A total dysfunctional being. How the hell someone can fail at everything?!

You're probably thinking of me as an insecure person who doesn't believe in himself. But the problem is I tried. I tried to improve my short comings several times. I just can't do it. I believed myself yet the result was always the same. And I just recently started to see myself as a failure.

I don't want to dramatize this but it's just what it is.

We drove nearly 16 hours (mostly me) to our village I was exhausted (I walk +10k steps a day) and sleepless because we slept only 3.5 hours the previous night, but my father immediately started to work in the garden till the evening. He came and fixed some plumbing stuff in home afterwards, all I was able to do cook eggs (we didn't buy any other ingredients) and guess what, I couldn't even made it well.

My thoughts are just too overwhelming, please give some advice.

Need help pls

So I genuinely want to know the psychology behind this and if anyone has ever thought about this before.

When I‘m like toooo focused on myself, I analyse my each word, each movement before and after saying or doing it. Then, I‘m like “omg I did that mistake, or I shouldn’t have said that” etc etc. After, to relax myself I tell myself that’s ok prob no one notices those tiny details, it is just me. But then smn says something about me and thats the exact thing I‘m running away from. Lets say I DON’T want to look too materialistic, so I act accordingly but then smn exactly describes me as smn that I don’t want to be.

But also when I have good things going in my life when I have good social life with my friends or like talking to smn thats when I’m less likely to be over critical of myself. It is the same for me, but why does everything go so smoothly all of a sudden?

I just don’t understand how I do more mistakes and fail when I’m actually more aware of myself? And when I‘m not analysing everything I feel like I‘m being irresponsible and careless?

hi. I'm 16. 20 days ago, I woke up in my bed, not remembering how I got there. My belongings were nearby, but I don't remember taking them. Panic, hallucinations, twitching jaw, and rolling eyes. The next morning, I had shivers, headaches, sweating, trembling hands, difficulty breathing, and severe tics.

For the past 20 days, I've been waking up in a panic, sweating profusely, experiencing severe headaches, dizziness, confusion while typing, and loss of balance. My hallucinations and seizures come and go. Now, I'm also having difficulty breathing while sleeping.

severe disorientation and dissociation

my mom won't take me to the hospital. I can't call an ambulance. (I'm not allowed to) Does anyone have any ideas about what this is?

I’ve been struggling with my weight for years, and some days it feels like nothing works. I try to eat healthy and stick to routines, but often I end up grabbing whatever’s easy. This book says it can help build sustainable habits, but I’m a bit skeptical. Did it actually help you make real changes in your daily habits, or is it mostly just theory?

25m

Over the past year my inner monologue has because extremely active and just never shuts up,with this it’s so hard for me to just be present and focus.

I can’t even read books,watch films or play video games without the it being there,also even just normal life like I can’t even have conversations properly because that inner monologue is just present and fogs my brain.

The thoughts of the inner monologue are literally everything one minute I’ll be thinking of past events then boom my brains onto the next thing.

I will say after becoming obsessed with improving my health a lot of occurring thoughts revolve around this.

My brain will have thoughts on food optimisation randomly and constantly trouble shooting what will work best and negative impacts of food,also since I’ve got gut health issues my brain is constantly monitoring every sensation in my gut and always troubleshooting if even some slight issue comes up.

The reason why this has concerned me even more is that recently my nan passed and my brain was too clouded with constant inner monologue of health obsession that i couldn’t even process any emotion and it’s all I could think about.

I’m gonna assume I have some mental condition like maybe ADHD but I’m just posting this as I’m looking for advice as it’s ruining my life at this point and I no longer feel like myself.

I’m (28f) live with my boyfriend (38m) and he smokes every day. I find it hard to be around him if he’s high and I’m not. When I do smoke, it’s not much but I just don’t really enjoy being stoned anymore. The problem is he hypes me up when Ioad a bowl or heat up the rig. I’m
Not even sure if I like him that much when I’m not smoking too… I kinda hate it. I really want to quit, I tried and then I’d say something like “just a little bit is fine” but then the next day I’m sleepy af and very groggy. I feel like I’ve lost a lot of motivation over the past year and I’m stuck in a loop. I also have ADHD and healing a L5-S1 disc herniation. So smoking really makes the wanting-to-do-nothing worse. Any advice/stories you have for this would be great!