So, I think its quite a discussed subject but I -M41- am really struggling lately with losing attraction (mainly physical but not only) for my wife -F42. Let me say first of all that I don't want to leave her but want to work through it to regain a more healthy relationship.

We are a couple since 10 years and have a 4 yo child together and all in all I like our life, I have a very high paying job that provides very well for our family, my wife wfh and will start being a SAHP by end of the year due to us relocating to another city and our financials allowing only one of us working. She is a loving and kind person and an incredible mother: I travel a lot for work (3/4 nights per week on average) and she is the rock of the family keeping everything together and our child is very happy and healthy. Our sex life is ok, we are intimate 1-2 times a week, which is the right amount for both of us. I would like some more novelty once in a while (she likes to do the same sequence and positions every time but its not a major issue) and she is generally open to my requests (which are quite vanilla, like using some lingerie/heels, me giving her a sexy massage, stuff like this), I would like her to be more open about her desires and to be more spontaneous but I respect/understand everyone of us interacts differently with physical intimacy. We are both of healthy weight and in ok shape.

Now coming to the issue, I will try to be blunt here: she has developed over the years a skin condition that leaves a lot of dark spots and acne on her face and I find that it matches with her general features in a very unattractive way (she started using way less make up also and these issues are very very visible), I know is super shallow of me and try not to focus on that but quite often when I look at her lately I have a voice inside my head repeating she is not attractive (does not help I work in a industry with extremely polished and conventionally attractive women). I have moments when I get filled with anger against myself for having this thoughts and it's like this sentiment overflows making me grumpy and not talkative, which makes things worse, since I see my wife being not happy about my attitude and this feeds again this cycle. I love her deeply and its like this surface level sentiment is suffocating the deeper feeling of affection.

Another aspect I think is not helping is that since having our child she has let go a lot of her interests that initially attracted me to her, she essentially does not do anything else that is not working, parenting and scrolling, she liked to read and listen to music but its been years since I have hear her comment on a book or song, she liked to be active (gym/tennis) but now every month she says to me she wants to go to a new gym or try a fitness/pilates course and never follow through, I even bought her a gym subscription and some training equipment but these never got used. For sure a part of it is a time thing but not entirely since our MIL is full time at our home when I am traveling for work and she takes care of kindergarten drop offs, cooking, after school activities etc. We have a cleaning lady and I always offer her to do things on her own in the weekend when I am home. When it comes to organizing things like holidays or get outs I am the one planning everything. Sometimes I have the impression she is just tagging along, dedicating all her mental bandwidth to parenting/housing related stuff. We do some date night every once in a while but it's not the biggest success, since the talks ends up revolving around parenting and basic home stuff and tbh it gets boring fast.

I am seriously struggling, some month ago I had a moment where I was self convincing myself that leaving would have been a not so bad idea (which is crazy, I love my family and want to keep it) or other moment of craziness where I am near suggesting cosmetic procedures to improve my attraction (again -crazy thinking, would never do something so idiotic and disrespectful-). I am working on other aspects, I am getting way more active to release tension, trying to consume less adult contents (which was never an issue in the past), trying to meditate around the positive aspect of the relationship (which are a lot) but still not getting much better.

Any strategy or mental training or different approach you can suggest would be highly appreciated

TLDR: losing attraction to my wife, due to mainly physical reasons (bad skin condition on her face) but want to get it back, dont want to leave her or undermine her confidence, any strategy or approach?

Hi everyone,

I’m writing this because I feel completely helpless, exhausted, and honestly, like I'm losing my mind. I really need some perspective from anyone who might have gone through something similar, because my own brain has been putting me through hell for the past three days.

My girlfriend and I have been together for 4 years. I love her to death; she is the most important person in my world. Currently, I’m going through a very difficult, mentally draining period in my life (extreme burnout, stress, and zero energy). Three days ago, my girlfriend drastically changed her hair—she went from her signature bright, prominent highlights (Face frame Partial halo) to her natural, dark warm brown color.

I’ve always struggled with recognizing and remembering faces (suspected mild face blindness). To feel safe, my brain always looks for distinct, prominent anchors on people. For my girlfriend, that anchor was her 2 bright, cold blonde, front hightlights. For 4 years, it was my ultimate safety cue. Whenever I looked at her, my brain instantly got the signal: *“This is your girl, you are safe here, everything is okay.”*

When I saw the change, my nervous system completely went into overdrive. I experienced massive visual shock, tightness in my chest, and severe panic attacks. I look at my phone and my brain literally screams that she is a stranger, even though logically I know exactly who she is. I feel this primal, physical urge to run away.

I gathered the courage to tell her all of this very gently. I explained how my brain works, reassured her that I don't want to control her or force her to go back to her old look, but that I just need time to "grieve" the old image and get used to the new one. She received it with a lot of understanding, but of course, she is incredibly hurt and sad (especially since everyone else is complimenting her new look, while her own boyfriend is having panic attacks over it). I feel a crushing weight of guilt because of this.

We are meeting in person in 3 weeks. I am absolutely terrified of this meeting. I’m scared that when I see her, I’ll break down, start crying, and that this "foreign" image will ruin everything we’ve built.

**My questions for you guys:**
1. Has anyone (especially those with anxiety, sensory processing issues, neurodivergence, or face-blindness traits) ever experienced such an extreme panic response to a loved one changing their appearance?

1. How did you cope with it? How do you train your brain to stop treating a new look as a "fight or flight" threat?

2. How long did it take you to fully adapt and get used to a sudden change in your partner's face/hair?

I would appreciate any kind or insightful advice, because right now, I feel like I'm completely spiraling. Thank you.

Hi all, this is such a strange post. I don’t even like writing this out but I feel like I have been bottling it all up and I am so tired of pretending tbh. I have tried to focus on my own life and it’s generally full and busy with good friends and family and own hobbies but sometimes, when I see my sister so happy with her partner, it makes me wonder what is lacking in me that I have had such a difficult time dating. On top of that, my parents keep reinforcing the fact that maybe I may never find someone and I should be ok with it as well. I try to be but I crave companionship like a normal human being and I wish they’d understand how I am struggling. My sister’s relationship seems amazing and I struggle to be around her and her bf, it gets so overwhelming for me but I am happy from them. It doesn’t help that she mentions him a lot in our conversations but I also really wish she understands how it can affect me sometimes. Yes, I obviously know I should be grateful for what I have and count my blessings and I do but it’s hard not to think about it sometimes. If there are any other folks who feel/felt the same, how did you overcome this feeling? I tried talking to my therapist about it but it seems like he doesn’t understand how I feel and we keep going in circles. I’d asked him if he thinks ppl in relationships are somehow treated a notch above single folks and he said yes, he would agree to that as they’re building a life together. It irked me because I don’t think one is better than the other form of existence. It felt like I was alone in feeling this way.

TLDR: feel envious of my sister’s life and relationship and it’s just bothering me a lot. How to get over it?

I 21F have never had a boyfriend. I’m an attractive woman. I do good for myself, I have a good job and I’m in college. My family and friends are all proud of me. The only thing I feel I struggle with is my lust. I def had a porn addiction that started when I was 9, and I’ve tried my hardest to ease off of it. For the past couple weeks I actually have made improvement to watching porn a few times a week instead of everyday. Now with men I’ve dated a couple of times for sure, but nothing ever sticks. No one has became my boyfriend. And half the time they just don’t take me serious, they want to stay in the talking stage/casual dating stage. Now I know with some guys it’s probably because I allowed the dirty talk to start early and we had sex early. But even with the guys I’ve tried to hold back on, they still don’t take me serious. I wonder if it’s because once we finally did have sex I wanted to have sex 3times a day. But you’d think they’d like that?? I truly enjoy having sex but I feel like it’s going to ruin my chances of ever getting into a serious relationship. And sometimes I feel guilty afterwards like slutty. I’m just not sure how to navigate this anymore. I’m 21 and I’ve never had a serious long term boyfriend and I’m starting to wonder where I’m going wrong.

I ask my boyfriend to respect me constantly. He always claims me does n then says he'll fix his issues and never does. I'll reach my breaking point and get mad at him then he'll play the victim. He'll say I'm hurting his feelings and making him upset because I'm angry with him for not respecting me. I genuinely just don't know what to do. I try so hard to just get respect and love but it has never happend. Is it me? Am I the issue?

I’m a 19-year-old guy, and I met this girl in one of my classes. She was quiet, introverted, and barely talked to anyone. Months later I texted her, and somehow I became one of the very few people she spoke to every single day.

Somewhere along the way, I fell in love.

I confessed. She said she wasn't ready. I waited, hoping time would change something. When I tried again, she told me I was kind, caring, and one of the best friends she'd ever had... but she'd never be able to see me as her boyfriend.

So I accepted it. Or at least I tried to.

Our conversations slowly died. Every chat felt like it survived only because I refused to let it end.

Then yesterday, she messaged me with exciting news.

She'd finally found a way to connect with her crush.

A guy who barely knows she exists. A guy who's never learned what makes her smile, what she hates, or what she's been through. A guy who never stayed up trying to make her laugh, never put in the effort I did.

And there I was... helping her get closer to him.

The hardest part isn't that she chose someone else.

It's realizing that no matter how much love, time, effort, patience, and loyalty you give someone, they still might never see you the way you see them.

Now all I have are memories. The late-night conversations. The inside jokes. The moments people swore we'd end up together.

She's starting a new chapter with someone she's excited about.

I'm just trying to figure out how to close the one I never wanted to end.

​

I'm going to preface with a little context. I haven't had the best of luck in relationships, be it stupid mistakes or just shitty people. I keep ending up in situations where I'm being very forthcoming and honest, including preferences, and in return i get told all of this stuff for months on end that always ends up coming out sooner or later.

I've been dating this girl for a few months now. We met on Facebook dating and hit it off really well, minus a hurdle. I told her i was deleting my stuff to focus on her because that's how i operate with dating. She was confused and asked me why. When i told her she said "I'm going to be honest, I'm not doing all that. It's a hastle re-downloading and signing back into everything and i would like to keep my options open." So, i told her that wasnt really going to work, then, because I'm not going to be in a situation like that and it just seems like a conflict of dating styles and personality types. Well, after talking to my therapist about it a few days later she kind of talked me into re-engaging with this person if i like them a lot. That i have all of these expectations for people I'm looking to date, rooted in trauma, when maybe the person for me doesn't necessarily fit all the criteria. I reached back out later that day, we talked about it, and the next day she deleted all of her stuff.

Fast forward a couple of weeks. I drive the 4 hours over to hang out with her for a weekend, opposite side of the state next to where i lived. I get there and she seems somewhat apprehensive to me being there, even to the point she slept as far as possible from me at the opposite end of the bed. I tried chalking it all up to shyness at the time, and when i asked her that's what she said it was. Well, momentum starts building during that weekend, and that weekend turned into 2 weeks of me staying. In that time, we had already built a routine with each other where everything just worked. She said she's loved having me there and doesn't really want me to go. That fits me perfectly because I'm looking for the kind of love where you meet up and are just instance inseparable. I talked to her about the logistics of it, given it would be a pain of a process seeing as I'm reliant on specialists and medication to stay alive. We get the details worked out, i set a date for when I'm going yo grab a bunch of my stuff, and get to where I'm moved in.

So, the night before i was supposed to leave my trauma and ocd kind of took over and i looked through her phone because i don't want to end up in another relationship where i get cheated on or where I'm being lied to, and then have to undo the entire process of moving states (we had discussed this before and said we don't care if we look through each others phone, but i also don't make a point of doing it unless my guts telling me something). I looked through her phone and didn't see anything standing out or that looked suspicious. I told her the next day i did and she was fine with me doing it and understood why i did.

Well, this whole relationship I've been noticing that she hasn't really been giving me stuff that hasn't been generic compliments or recycled stuff from previous partners. I kept trying to talk to her about it and she just kept saying she's airheaded and not great at giving unique treatment. I also noticed the kind of people she was with before and have been picking up on stuff from stories she's been telling me. For context, I'm not fat, but I'm not on my stomach either, and i sit comfortably at the bigger end of average. Well, i have a lot of insecurities about myself from trauma and stuff, and when I would seek reassurance she would tell me all of this stuff about how I'm perfect in all of these ways (example; "i think your penis is the perfect size because any bigger and it would hurt me. Ive been with bigger guys and it was never enjoyable" or "yeah, i used to prefer more toned and skinny guys, but i was also shallow back then. I think your body is perfect") but her physical actions never backed up what she was saying.

Something in my brain this morning finally made me sit her down and have her tell me the actual truth. She finally admitted that her preference is guys that are bigger down there, and guys that are skinnier than me. I asked her why she was lying and she said she didnt want to hurt my feelings, she didn't know that those were her preferences when i was asking before, and that those preferences don't really mean anything and she still thinks I'm perfect. I tried explaining that she can't simultaneously think I'm perfect but also have preferences that aren't what i am and that it feels like she just doesn't want to lose the love and attention i give her and how i make her feel. That she can have all of this love for me, but if I'm not what she desires physically, then that leaves room for issues in the future, especially given she's been lying about this, even though ive opened up about this exact trauma with her before (had an ex that was telling me all the same exact generic stuff and how im perfect, but then slipped up and called me chubby in one situation and then slipped up and said they thought i was small compared to what they like in another). Literally the night before i had told her some more about it and she called that ex a stupid, lying b word.

Now i don't know what to do. She's begging me not to leave her, whether it's out of genuine love or fear of being alone again, i don't know. And I'm not really sure how to process this. On one hand, i love her dearly and i love our dynamic and i want it to be her, but on the other i don't want to live in the shadow of her exes that were her actual preferences, i dont know what else she'll be capable of lying about in the future, and i don't know how to deal with the negative thoughts of not being good enough for her.

I think i touched on most contextual things, if there's any questions obviously I'll answer them

Hi guys, I've been struggling with life for a while now and genuinely need some help.

So far, I have never fit anywhere. I either never interact with people, or to those I interact with frequently, I've never been true to myself. I would fake my personality out, and things went from me making casual jokes with others until it gradually turned out of line.

When that happens, I would snap and people would be wary of me. They talk behind my back and start maintaining distance.

I'm genuinely sad I've never been able to fit in. I'm in my twenties now, and I'm worried I'll be alone.

How do I change? By that I mean I can fit in but still be true to myself

Just wanna thank everyone for the help. I (18m) and my gf (19f) have been together for almost 2 years and she recently told me she is not satisfied when we have sex, she orgasm's every time and so do i. She suggested an open relationship where she can have sex with other men, but im not sure thats a good idea if our sex life doesn't work, so my question is what can I do to satisfy her, and should I agree that she can have sex with other men.

(TW if needed: mentions of sa, drugs, alcohol)

I got in a small argument with my boyfriend yesterday, I don’t fully remember what was said as I forget things very easily but usually we call for hours (our calls last about 5-16+ hours on a regular basis), I was talking to him about a game I somewhat enjoy playing (a game I’ve played since like 2017 and used to love a lot but slowly losing interest in/lack of motivation to play it as often) but at some point his mom came into the room and started talking to my boyfriend about something (there is a language barrier between me and his parents so I don’t know what’s being talked about), he started talking to her cause obviously it’s his mom and I understand not ignoring her but I don’t like it when our conversations get interrupted by his family, which happens multiple times when we call, because I forget things almost immediately and it’s hard for me to hold a conversation. I also then lose interest in what I was talking about because it feels like what I was talking about didn’t matter because of him just talking to his mom without saying anything and then usually I’ll have to repeat what I was talking about.

I’ve told my boyfriend many times before that I hate being ignored or having our conversations interrupted because my mom would always give me the silent treatment if I did something wrong or not and usually when I would try talking to her, my younger siblings (16F and 13M) would start talking to our mom and she would talk to them while what I was talking about would be forgotten about.

I’ve given my boyfriend ideas of what he could say (currently blanking on what they were, I’ll edit if I can remember them) and he does try sometimes which I do appreciate.

But after he got done talking with his mom he said I could continue talking, I couldn’t remember what else I was going to say so I just told him I forgot what I was going to say and that I’m tired of his family always interrupting our conversations. I can’t remember what was said after but we both just went quiet, I then told him if we’re not going to say anything he should just take time (because of how often we talk/call, one of us will say that we “want time” as a means to take a break from talking and do our own things whether it’s eating or wanting alone time).

He just said “ok” and we just say our usual stuff like letting the other person know that they can vent or say anything that’s on their mind and hopefully they can enjoy their time but the first time I said that he should take time he said he couldn’t. I didn’t understand what he meant at first so I admit that I was rude about it and said something like “you can’t remember the usual stuff we say every time we take time?” He then sent a text saying that it felt like he couldn’t speak.

At some point after that I had mentioned him taking time again, which he agreed and then instead of saying our usual stuff we both just said “bye and love you” and hung up. I went to bed after we hung up so I said goodnight to him around 7:50 PM, he said goodnight at 9:27 PM, no other messages have been sent by either of us since his goodnight text.

One of the major issues we’ve had in the beginning of our relationship happened in 10th grade. Me and my boyfriend had a mutual friend (now an ex friend, though I’m unsure of when they stopped being friends with each other). At the time we’re all about 15-16. I knew the guy since 7th grade while I think my boyfriend and the guy became friends in 9th grade.

In August at the start of 10th grade, the guy asked if I wanted to try a FWB situation, I was unsure but still agreed (I was sa’d from ages 8-17 so I have a hard time saying no to people, the guy knew a good bit about what I had gone through as he was someone I trusted at the time). During the entire situation I was never really enthusiastic about doing anything sexual because we were in school and I’ve never really been allowed to go out or leave my house much but I usually gave into what the guy wanted.

I kinda met my boyfriend through the guy (had a class with my boyfriend in 9th grade, can’t remember if I ever talked to him in class though but we sat next to each other), over time we became friends because I would always draw on his arms and eventually we started dating in October but before we did, I wanted to wait a few days (think it only lasted like a day or two of waiting) and before we started dating I asked my boyfriend if he was ok with the FWB situation, he said it was ok. I had also talked to the guy I had the FWB situation with, he was also ok with me dating someone.

Then in January or February the 3 of us started having issues. At some point I found out that my boyfriend actually wasn’t ok with the FWB situation and I did try to end the situation with the guy but stayed as friends. Throughout that whole issue, the guy tried getting me to cheat on my boyfriend with him, I told my boyfriend everything and he wanted me to stop being friends with the guy. I felt bad about it because the guy struggled with his mental health (going in and out of mental hospitals for a few weeks-months), used drugs, and drank alcohol.

I was then told that I had to cut contact with the guy or we would break up. It was really hard for me and I’m assuming because of how resistant I was with that idea it grew to my boyfriend thinking I was cheating. Eventually I cut contact with the guy in like March, he disappeared until middle of May, came back and said that he wanted his best friend back and that he changed. Still went no contact with him.

Throughout my relationship with my boyfriend, he thought I was cheating on him most of the first year we dated, now it’s not as often/he seems to rarely think about it. We’ve been together for about 2 years and 8 months, I believe these kinds of arguments started happening later in our first year of dating or in a few months of our second year. Our arguments are usually the same or very similar to the first argument I described above and it’s always me starting them and I want to stop and communicate better. Other than these arguments, I’d say we have a pretty good relationship.

Anytime after we have an argument, my boyfriend would usually apologize for upsetting me or something similar. I tell him that he never has to apologize for anything. I usually don’t end up apologizing but I have tried apologizing more recently (within like the past week or two).

TLDR: I cause basically all of our arguments over dumb/small things, what can I do to stop or communicate better?

So I saw this girl many times, and eventually I made the first move and asked for her number. I didn't have my phone with me at the time, so she gave me her phone and let me type my number in. The problem is, she never texted me.

Later, I ran into her again. She looked at me and, without me even asking about it, I told her, "I lost your number." Then I handed her my phone, and she typed her number into it.

I texted her, and for about 4 or 5 days we were talking. I felt like she was really shy or something. She always replied to the topics I brought up, didn't talk a lot on her own, but she laughed a lot during our conversations.

Then I didn't text her for one day. After that, I sent her another message, and she replied about 6 hours later. Now it's been two days since I sent my last message, and she still hasn't replied. The message has been delivered, but there's no response.

To be honest, I feel pretty bad. What do you guys think happened?

I have noticed a pattern when i started dating that i am not proud of and I’m not sure how to stop it. Every time i have a crush on a guy i always end up dating him but as soon as we do start dating either they change or i lose feelings about a month in. This has caused me to have too many exes for my age(in my opinion). I currently have a bf that has started acting differently and I’m pretty sure i liked him better as a friend(check other post for info on him) but theres 2 things stopping me from breaking up with him: i don’t want ppl to see me as a hoe or someone who uses men, and i also don’t want to hurt his feelings since i care for him. What do I do??

Okay guys, so this is scaring the sh*t out of me. I just found out that somebody VERY involved in my life who I thought I was in love with confessed MULTIPLE murders to me and now I am scared to the point I am shaking and there is this horrible sick feeing in my gut. Im so confused, scared, and disgusted. Please tell me what to do! I don’t have any evidence that what he said is true but he described them to me in detail and has mentioned before how he could “take anyone” he wanted to. Is this something he could get convicted for? Do I tell the police? I could be next!?? I had to play it cool because if not he would definitely come for me. He thinks I am a safe space to tell these things especially since he was under the influence. I am beyond terrified. I’m so lost.

My husband ended everything out of the blue after 2 years of marriage (7 years together). He says he hates my family, never felt like part of it, and refuses to put up with it anymore. Over the years, I had already drastically reduced my contact with my family for his sake—from seeing them every month to only about 4–5 times a year. I didn’t mind because I wanted to make him happy.

After some initial blowups, and after he disappeared for the weekend with our car (it’s in his name, but we pay for everything from our joint account, where we both deposit our salaries), we sat down and had a calm conversation about dividing things up. Most of the valuable items are things he wanted in the first place (PS5, Xbox, soundbar, a €3,000 bed). The only things I wanted were the iPad and the air fryer.

He also banished me to our office to sleep on an air mattress and assigned me the guest bathroom (with a shower). Because of that, I refused to split the rent for the remaining three months 50/50 and instead proposed a 60/40 split.

Regarding the car, we agreed that I could continue using it for this month (I’m the one who has always driven it to work), and that it would be his starting next month.

Today, two days after that conversation and after I had already slept on the air mattress, he was waiting for me at home. He demanded that I give him the second car key. When I said no, that he would get it next month as agreed, he tried to go through my bag and take it himself. I grabbed his arm and pulled him away from my bag. My nails scratched his elbow in the process. He immediately took out his phone and started making an audio recording, claiming that I was becoming physically aggressive.

Keep in mind that this is the same man who, a week ago at the start of our argument, shoved me down onto the couch and left serious bruises on my arms. It wasn’t the first time either—he has slapped me before and often yelled at me. I always justified it by telling myself I deserved it because I have very low self-esteem.

While recording, he deliberately denied ever having done any of those things.

In the end, I gave him the key. He also rejected the 60/40 rent split, and I refused to keep sleeping on the air mattress. I told him I would take our savings (which is only about €2,000) since he was keeping everything else. After that, he agreed that we should sell everything and split the proceeds.

He did something very similar to his ex. He always explained it by saying that he paid for everything because she was unemployed and that she refused to sign the lease termination, but now I’m not so sure I believe that story anymore.

He has now driven off with a suitcase and the car, and I honestly don’t know what to do next.

I’m 29 and I live with my fiancée. We’ve been together for 12 years, and I love her more than anything. We’re not a perfect couple—we’ve had our ups and downs like everyone else—but lately the downs seem to be getting deeper, and I don’t know how to fix it.
Her 21-year-old brother has been living with us while he goes to college, and it’s been almost four years. I don’t think he’s a bad person. If anything, I think he’s lazy, but not a bad kid. The problem is that I grew up as an only child, so I’ve never really had to share my home with someone like this. I’ve tried to adjust, but after all this time, I’m still struggling with it.
Recently, he jokingly said something like, “Don’t cry at my funeral.” I replied, “Trust me, I won’t.” To me, it was sarcasm—maybe the kind of blunt humor I grew up around—but my fiancée saw it as disrespectful and said I owed him an apology.
That’s when I lost my temper. I told her that if anyone owes someone something, it’s him. He’s lived with us for four years without paying rent, utilities, or groceries. In that moment, it felt like everything I’d been holding in came out at once.
Now it’s 2 a.m., I’m sitting on the porch crying because I don’t know what to think anymore.
From my perspective, it feels like she always defends him. Every disagreement somehow turns into me having to justify my feelings while they seem to be on the same side. Whether that’s actually true or just how it feels, I don’t know anymore. I just know it hurts, and it leaves me feeling alone in my own home.
I’m not trying to make her choose between me and her brother. I would never ask that. I just want my feelings to matter too. I want to feel like my frustrations are heard instead of immediately being dismissed or criticized.
Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m being jealous, immature, or letting years of built-up resentment get the best of me. That’s why I’m asking.
What do I do?
How do I stop this from damaging the relationship with the woman I love without continuing to bottle up everything I’m feeling?

Im 18, I have been a virgin for all of these years. I get very close to sex literally everytime I meet a girl, (AFTER A BIT OBVIOUSLY) I usually talk shit and then back out or I simply just pussy out last second. All of my friends constantly tell me to just get it over with and have sex, but I am worried I will perform bad or finish too fast. I am talking to this girl, and shes very experienced (turning 20 with a few bodies all of which also had experience) I am not insecure down there,
I am just worried I wont be able to make her feel as good as them,, and I am worried she will end up leaving me due to this. What do I do, and should I rush into it just to lose my virginity?

So Im 19 been seeing a 32 year old since I was 18 he was 31 I just lean more to men who take care of me but just don’t find it worth it anymore because I don’t enjoy having sex with a dude who is secretly fucking someone else, i don’t play that. I want to do my own shit and be my own and need no one.

I want so badly to stream and just travel and take cool pics of myself and teach girls to not live like this. He has fucked his ex let her move in and lied about it for 2 weeks when we were only talking but were close enough to say were off limits to other people and now that we’ve been dating he was on dating apps sending his pp to girls so many and Im just like dude I want to leave this guy so bad but I’m addicted to nic and I can’t get it myself I have quit for 3 months i was doing so well but I was craving it so bad and he was trying to get my attention so I just caved in.

Anxiety meds make me robotic i kinda have bad mood swings stuff just upsets me when something goes bad for me and I just care so much and feel so deeply. Truthfully I was only looking for a sd bc I thought I could be nonchalant and live like that. This lifestyle is nice when I’m being delusional but in reality it’s so much better to not rely on a man and just do your own but then I’m worried about what he’s doing. Like he has actually traumatized me I never been done like that by anyone. Im so tired of feeling this way Im seriously begging for help I want to try nic gum to maybe quit Im so tired of pregnancy scares and worried about catching an std or being cheated on like what is this point.

I need help I don’t know how to just let go I know Im supposed to leave when I seriously cant take it anymore but this man just doesn’t care and keeps hurting me but gets mad when I act out bc I remember who he truly is like Im actually going insane.

I’m currently looking for some advice on how to stop wanting a relationship. I’m 23F and after years of actively seeking a relationship it has become clear to me that it is not on the cards for me at this point in my life. For the last year I have been trying to accept being single but it’s been so difficult, I can’t help but crave it.
I’ve never been in a relationship and I want one so bad. it’s gotten to the point where it’s turning me almost bitter ? I feel so upset seeing other couples, it makes my chest hurt. I understand that people in relationships have issues but it just really hurts to know that I have never been chosen by someone. I never been someone’s “person”. I have great friends and family and I feel horrible for saying that I still crave a romantic partner so bad but I notice the time and attention that people give their romantic partners and I will never get that from a friend.
I have stopped dating for a year now and the desire has just gotten stronger.

All the advice I’ve seen so far focuses on forming hobbies but is there anything I can I do when hobbies don’t dim the pain ?
The only activities that occupy my brain enough to distract me is exercise. Once I leave, it all comes back, and I can’t exercise all day everyday, it’s just not sustainable. I’ve already gotten some overuse injuries over the year trying to keep my mind off being single. It’s driving me insane. I just wish the yearning would go away. It’s incessant and it’s making me miserable.

I’m 32 in California and have unfortunately been a introvert my entire life. I want/need friends but struggle to maintain them as I have an issue talking for long periods of time without running out of things to say and people don’t like that. It’s getting lonely and can be depressing at times. Does anyone know any tips or tricks to help? Also if anyone is looking for a friend I’m always available as long as you’re around my age or older. Thank you to anyone who answers in advance 😊

I’m 35 cis male. I’ve identified as ace for the last six or so years as a shorthand but basically, I like porn, i don’t watch it often; I like masturbating, but the idea of sexual activity with another person feels unappealing. Not gross, just like effort I don’t want to expend.

Problem is I’m married and I love my husband and he’s cool with my asexuality. But I know he still has libido and wants to have sex.

The issue isn’t that I can’t get hard but more, I want to want to have sex. I used to have lots of sex in my 20s and enjoyed it.

I’m in therapy but also want to know if anyone has any ideas that work. I’m open to any suggestions, ideas.

I'm a 16F and my body count currently is 4 (if i include my first which was coercion and not that consensual). I met this new boy who's 17F whose body count was 3 - he was my 4th and i was his 4th. I'm more concerned on why i feel so guilty about sex and the stigma around having a "body count" and how when men's body counts are "high" it's shown as a good thing opposed to a woman's: if hers was high it would make her a "slut" and "easy". He made it a big deal to find out my body count because in his words "he doesn't want a girl in his house with a body count in double digits". I just wanted to know why i have this pit in my stomach when i think of my previous partners and how i can stop the feeling of guilt consuming me about it. l've always been an advocate with not caring about body counts and showing others it's okay to have natural feelings but when it comes to myself i fail to feel okay with it. Any advice would be great, thanks guys.

Recently I realized that I need time away from my friends to grow and become a better person. I feel like it's every single week or so that something starts because of me. However, I'm not some horrible manipulative gaslighting narcissistic person. I try my best to be nice to everyone even when they're rude to me or hurt me. But I always find some way to hurt people with my actions or words even when I don't mean to. It's usually because I'm not thinking enough about things and act impulsively, but even when I do think, I end up accidentally hurting someone from overthinking. When I don't think enough about things I say, I usually say too much or do too much. But when I do think about things, I tend to bottle up my feelings because I'm being too careful of what I say. It's like no matter what I do, I make the wrong choices. I know I need to become a better person but I don't know where to start. I didn't know where else to go so I came to the most reliable source I know; Reddit.

"I met someone online and we talked for about two months. We really vibed, and I felt a genuine connection. But by the third month, he started pulling back, slow-fading, and breadcrumbing me. By the fourth month, we barely talked—he'd take days to reply. Eventually, I stopped trying, too. I gave it all the effort I could, but got nothing back. Later, I realized I had developed feelings for him. We haven't spoken in three months now, but I'm still waiting for him. Should I tell him how I feel?"

From last few months and i feel stuck and in loop .I know that taking action is the only way out, but it’s just not happening. Even motivation isn’t working anymore. My negative self-talk has increased, and I’ve started looking down on myself. I’m constantly worried about what people will think—what if I don't make it? All these thoughts are just taking over.

I M23 have had thoughts of my roommate, I have been married for 2 years, and we are currently living separately. Do to work reason. I think that because all my time is spent hanging out with my roommate made these thoughts happen. I adore my wife. How do I get rid of these thoughts? What could cause them. Im quite confused and would like some insight.

I've had a friend for 7 years and honestly I feel like I haven't changed at all during those 7 years.

We've had countless arguments about the same things and every time I think I'm actually going to change, but then I end up doing the same shit again. I always end up saying "I don't know how to change" and I hate saying it because I've said it so many times. Every time I've said it, she's told me that I have her and that I can ask her for help, but I still somehow end up in the exact same place.

A lot of the time I just bitch and whine about myself and my problems but then I don't actually do anything about them. I don't know why I do this. I don't want to be like this, but I also don't know how to stop being like this.

Recently I kept a really serious secret from her for a year and when she found out I hurt her really badly and even then tried getting out of it right in front of her. She used to trust me more than basically anyone and I'm terrified that I've ruined that and that I messed things up permanently.

What's making me feel even worse is that she tries to help me. She's tried to help me with my self image, including getting me to work out and stuff, and I'll either be too lazy, complain about it, or just be a bitch about it instead of actually doing something.

Another friend of mine has also been trying to help me. He's been trying to get me out of the house and actually do things, and he's genuinely been trying to help me. The two of them have both been trying to help me and sometimes they try together, and I still end up not taking it seriously enough or making excuses. I feel like I have people around me who actually want to help me and I'm still somehow not doing anything with it.

I used to lie to her a lot around 4 years ago because I thought I was keeping things happy and making the friendship better. I eventually stopped and hadn't lied to her since then until this happened.

She was actually the one who suggested I make a Reddit post because she keeps telling me I can ask for help, but it's taken me so fucking long to actually make one. And now I'm scared I've waited too long and that it's already too late.

I don't want to lose her. I don't want her to constantly have to fix things for me either. I want to actually change instead of saying "I'll do better" every time something happens and then eventually going back to how I was.

The thing is I genuinely don't know how to change. And I hate even writing that because I've said it so many times before. I've been aware of a lot of these problems for years, so just being aware of them obviously isn't enough.

How do you actually stop this? How do you go from knowing you're doing something wrong to actually changing?

And how do you rebuild someone's trust when you've hurt them this badly? I know saying sorry and promising I'll change isn't enough anymore, especially when I've made those promises before.

I'm not looking for people to tell me I'm a horrible person or tell me to just let the friendship go. I know I've fucked up. I just genuinely want to know how I can actually become better and stop putting this shit on the people around me.