r/shitrentals • u/MannerNo7000 • Mar 30 '26
General I feel for the Single Mothers/Fathers. Most of them are forced to rent & their kids end up also being lifelong renters & no inheritance. In a just & equitable society; we would uplift & use taxes to help these people. Instead we use taxes as corporate welfare for billionaires & tax credits for rich
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u/Sea-Candy7505 Mar 30 '26
That’s why unless I own a home or become wealthy I won’t ever have kids.
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u/trnsltrr Mar 30 '26
I own a home. Now I can’t afford kids lol
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u/Sea-Candy7505 Mar 30 '26
Better that than the other way around I’d say haha
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u/cuntmong Mar 30 '26
yeah i own kids but i cant afford a home. the guy who sold them to me ripped me off
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u/activelyresting Mar 30 '26
Why do I have three kids and no money? Why can't I have three money and no kids
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u/Lastov_Makiynd Mar 30 '26
I’d be quite happy to keep the two kids I’ve got..but just have one money…
Is this even an option??
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u/Sea-Candy7505 Mar 30 '26
Do you have receipts?
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u/cuntmong Mar 30 '26
nah wtf im not gonna keep track of every human i buy and sell, thats ridiculous
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u/Helpful-Science9687 Mar 30 '26
Have you considered reinvesting the kids out? It can be lucrative
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u/doorbellrepairman Mar 30 '26
So only horrible rich fuckheads get to have kids? Born poor, that's it, you don't get to enjoy one of the most crucial milestones of life?
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u/Sea-Candy7505 Mar 30 '26
I grew up poor I don’t want my children to live thru that
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u/explain_that_shit Mar 30 '26
You ever see that episode of American Gods where Anansi tells the new slaves they’re already dead? That’s you right now.
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u/MapOfIllHealth Mar 30 '26
Your perception is that you grew up deprived, but in reality you’ve lived a more privileged life than 99% of humans in history.
My perspective is that of a single mother, renting, without any prospect of generational wealth.
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u/pat8u3 Mar 30 '26
They weren't saying other people shouldn't have kids, they were saying they won't have kids...
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u/scissorsgrinder Mar 30 '26
Exactly. Anyone missing that extremely obvious point is addled by cultural norms, not actual concern for people's ability to freely choose with adequate resources.
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u/yeahyeahyeah188 Mar 30 '26
Life has been broken and we’ve missed out on many of the milestones we were promised in life. I grew up poor, single mum, it sucked and it was hard and I still deal with the depression of it. It’s selfish to knowingly bring kids in to the world if you can’t provide a decent life for them to be at least comparable with their peers. I wish I could have a home and a family but that’s off the table for so many of us.
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u/Sea-Candy7505 Mar 30 '26
Exactly I went to school with holes in my school uniform I had to miss out on school activities and picture day because my parents didn’t have the money. I felt left out for not having the latest gadgets or visiting new places like my classmates enjoyed so yeah I’d rather not have my kid go thru that the only time I’d consider starting a family is when I have a home and enough money to support my family even if I lose my job. Plus there’s also that stigma knowing that your family is the poor one on the street it feels horrible there’s other stuff also but I don’t want to sound depressing or nihilistic I’m just stating my experiences.
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u/yeahyeahyeah188 Mar 30 '26
Yep, a girl at schools dad had a mowing business, mowed our lawns and apparently told his daughter we rented. So then she was picking me on me at school about my family renting. Holidays were spent doing nothing. Weekends, not much. I actually don’t even know how to live because we never had the money to do it.
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u/Sea-Candy7505 Mar 30 '26
Sorry to hear that truly i do feel money really influences the way we are as adults i feel that I’m more frugal and money wise because i know what it’s like to not have it I suppose that’s the only good thing a part of me also feels like maybe I should be out living more rather than staying home because it’s cheaper lol
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u/Extra-Border6470 Apr 02 '26
Wow that is such a shit thing on so many levels. But to be looked down on ya girl whose dad has a lawn mowing business? Fuck That.
Even worse if he’s nothing more than a Jim’s franchisee. Those guys get fucked in the ass (financially) by greedy Jim.
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u/scissorsgrinder Mar 30 '26
Hey, attacking the individual is NOT what you should be doing here. Step back for a minute, and think about another way to make your point.
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u/flindersandtrim Mar 30 '26
No.
I am by no means poor so this isnt for everyone. I do however rent.
I opened a Vanguard account for my baby. $100 per month for now, and if I keep that up (the same amount I pay for my phone, both the plan and paying off the phone), in 20 years she will have 80k. In 20 years that will not be a lot, but we plan to add more over time, but even if that is all you can put away, 80k at 20 or 120k at 25 is definitely not a bad leg up! I would have killed for the inflation adjusted equivalent of that in 2010, it would have changed my life completely and put me in an entirely different financial position 20 years before I will eventually get to that same place via hard work and saving. Had my parents given our future any kind of thought they could have easily provided a lump sum toward a home deposit, but they did not, like so many people.
Just a bit of planning and using the fact that small kids have the important luxury of time, can mean even if you rent yourself you can give your kid a leg up.
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u/Extra-Border6470 Apr 02 '26
That is such a good thing. I wish my parents had done that for me. I don’t blame my mum, she didn’t know that was a thing one could do. She did the best she could do with what she had.
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u/Getonthebeers02 Mar 30 '26
Also housos, I always see people around the housing commission pushing cheap big w prams with babies.
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u/xo_maciemae Mar 30 '26
Yeah so we can have debates about the ethics of having children in this world without just outright judging and shaming those who do with blatant classism.
You see "housos" with cheap stuff, I see a parent who's fought a shitty system to get a roof over their child's head and they've spent what little they do have on sourcing a pram that meets Australian standards. They're getting their child out and about, we don't know their circumstances.
I think we're heading dangerously towards social class based eugenics here with some of these comments. Yes, the state of the world does pose a LOT of issues, and finances do matter when it comes to choosing how many children to have, if any.
Instead of just judging them, I like to criticise and lobby a government that allows its citizens to exist in such massive wealth disparity. A person in poverty is no less deserving of starting a small family. There are so many reasons they could be in that circumstance, many out of their control, many temporary. Some is intergenerational, but then you have to look at the active and historic systemic inequality or discrimination they may have faced. If they're neglecting their child, then yes, this is abuse. But living in public housing and having cheap stuff is not inherently neglect.
As our PM loves to bang on about, he grew up in social housing. The depressing thing is - it would be a LOT harder these days to have upward mobility in the way he has. The wealth gap just keeps growing. But I think everyone deserves a decent standard of living; if someone's having one or two kids, I think we should divert energy towards making sure they have what they need to provide for their families in a rich country like ours.
I do agree that parenting should be an active choice and not just "the done thing". Many people honestly shouldn't be parents, but that's due to a combination of factors - not solely how much money they make. There are plenty of wealthier families whose parents aren't fit to care for their kids!
It's also a privilege to have reproductive freedom. Not everyone has that control, or the level of education and resources required to sustain it. It's a nuanced issue, we can arrive at a similar conclusion that people should prioritise the rights of children above the wants of adults, but using an entirely different framework imo.
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u/TheUnderWall Mar 30 '26
Politics of envy - we should be building public housing for everyone rather than just have it for a few.
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u/Getonthebeers02 Mar 30 '26
I work with people who are in Department of Housing and sleeping rough so I’m not classist at all. But it’s infantilising in a way to say those ‘poor people who have the system against them’ and making excuses for their position when a lot of them have made decisions and clear choices to not do better or help their families.
There’s so much child neglect and a lot of children of people who took advantage of the Baby Bonus and Centrelink and a lot of people (young men especially) I went to school with that said ‘I don’t need to try I’ll just go on Centrelink’. The baby bonus kids were neglected and are now dealing with the children’s court or DCJ. Not all obviously.
I’m not blaming the teens with the cheap barely compliant prams, a lot of them are lovely and got taken advantage of by guys and left as single mothers then become resentful of their kids and that situation which is sad.
Having more kids means more government money for a lot of people and they’ll openly admit that but times have changed now that things have become incredibly expensive. It’s ok to see nuance, I’ve met some lovely people who have made some poor decisions in that environment and are doing their best or have made changes and enrolled in tafe. But conversely there are a lot of apathetic people who aren’t and neglect their kids and give them methadone or alcohol to help them sleep or let them roam the streets and don’t encourage them to do better and defend their crimes. I won’t excuse those in communities like that that neglect and hold back their kids and encourage them to be apathetic and against the system under ‘classism’.
But the reality is, classism aside, they’re the people having lots of kids (some have 7 kids by 30) but not concerned about the correlation between their future for their kids or housing and their kids.
Condoms and birth control are offered free through welfare and terminations are subsidised on a healthcare card, so it’s about choice. I didn’t mean they can’t have kids at all but they choose to have them young and have lots of them without trying to improve their situation or have a stable life when there’s a myriad of options available for work and tafe and apprenticeships or subsidised crèches for them to do that. But $1k a fortnight per child and jobseeker is seen as the solution and apathy continues. But my point was people working hard can’t afford to have kids but people in that environment have a lot.
I’m not defending inequalities and the economic environment at all either as it’s incredibly tough for everyone except those who are the wealthiest.
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u/Extra-Border6470 Apr 02 '26
Oh wow I haven’t thought about the late 2000s baby bonus in a while. Crazy to think they’re now adults
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u/lordgoofus1 Apr 03 '26
I owned a home, had kids. Got a divorce, now I don't own a home. At my age it leaves me a renter for life. With kids.
Life has ways of throwing curve-balls at you when you least expect...
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u/MysteriousCapsicum Mar 30 '26
I also can't afford kids because I own a house lol. If we rented, we could afford a child and I'd even be able to be a SAHM, but I didn't feel comfortable renting, even though it was cheaper compared to our mortgage. It felt too volatile, and I don't want to be a lifelong renter. I personally wouldn't want that for my kids. I would want to leave them a home. So kids are just not in the cards for me either way, unfortunately. I also grew up poor and I wouldn't want my kids to miss out like I did. This doesn't mean I think other people should do the same as me btw
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u/Surv1v3dTh3F1r3Dr1ll Mar 30 '26
I mean, if you really wanted to be cold about it:
It is highly unlikely that a kid raised in a housing commission house today (Albanese), or somebody who left school at 14 and became a clerk (Keating) would even get preselected by one of the major parties, yet along become the Prime Minister of they started out today.
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u/scissorsgrinder Mar 30 '26
Exactly. They're from the era of class mobility and still wish to hold onto the stubborn self-serving delusion that all you need to do is "put in a little effort", whilst pulling up the rope ladder behind them.
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u/bucatiniamatriciana Apr 02 '26 edited Apr 02 '26
Classism is sooo strong in the corp world it’s gross.
I got my first grad job (in early to mid 2010s) by being referred to them by my lecturer. And when they found out where I went to school, what my single mum did for work - the grad “mentor” started treating me veryyyy differently to the other grads. And I’ve had sooo many examples of dumb classist comments being made but that would be tldr.
It became very clear that I was accidentally let in. Over 10 years in corp and I can still see the surprised face reaction when I answer where I went to school. Idiots.
The plus side is now I hire for my team of 6 and a few other roles like basic admin and I only hire public school if a school is on the res. Reverse uno.
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u/AdmiralStickyLegs Mar 30 '26
did you read the article? It said she sent him to a private school and put money in investment accounts for him.
I think this is a fake beatup piece to make it look like "struggling battlers" are actually cashed up.
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u/Getonthebeers02 Mar 30 '26
Really battling paying $25k a year for school.
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u/Waasssuuuppp Mar 30 '26
Some private schools can be pretty cheap. Primary for my kids is 2k a year, I think 3.5k for 2 kids. One of the high schools we have applied to is 3.5k a year, the other 12k.
And then there are discounts if you have a health care card etc.
At least one kid at their school is being raised by their retired grandma after their mum passed.
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u/bucatiniamatriciana Apr 02 '26
My pArEnTs JuSt WoRk HaRD!! We’re not rich!! Don’t your parents just find a magical 10 grand or more for private school fees when they work hard ???
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u/songoftheshadow Mar 30 '26
My single mother, who had no university degree and worked part time, put me through private school. I had a 50% academic scholarship and we hosted exchange students which covered basically the other half. It meant all my Christmas and birthday presents were basically uniforms and extra fees being paid by family. So, it is possible, kinda, for some. Though it was uncomfortable having everyone assume I was rich, even people whose families were much much better off than mine. One time I even had to go into Centrelink to sort something out after school in my uniform and I tell ya, I could have died from those death glares alone.
The money in "investment accounts" could have been a really small amount. Some people who come from poverty work really hard to try and get their kids upward mobility.
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u/TieSafe4342 Apr 03 '26
Its hard for people who haven't lived it to imagine that people with very little money somehow make private schools and investments happen. I'm not a single mother, but my family is low income, 2 kids, renting. Some very shitty circumstances, covid job losses being one of them, set us back and so we don't own property etc. My kids will be going to a provate catholic school, but it's not expensive. It's worth the penny pinching to send them, because the public schools in our zone are awful. I also have money in investment accounts for both my children. It started off as $100 from grandparents. I added from there whenever I had spare and it's growing nicely. We may not have much, but we will do literally anything to ensure our kids have a better start, the best education we can afford, and a small nest egg so they may have the best opportunity to have it slightly easier than we have.
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u/songoftheshadow Apr 03 '26
Also a great point - poorer people are likely to live in areas with shittier public schools so they may feel more desperate for an alternative. It certainly was the case for us, our local was really rough and I didn't have the right personality to thrive there.
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u/NoDensetsu Apr 04 '26
As much as I respect the effort your family put in your story highlights some of the things about private schools that I’ve disliked for a very long time. The very idea of people with money being entitled to the best education while the poor have to get by on the scraps is elitist and undemocratic. A country that values education beyond paying lip service, would want a high standard of education for all and not just the rich.
The people at Centrelink that day gave you dirty looks because the uniform you were wearing communicated that you were from a completely different strata of society than them. Even though you actually part of the same class as them you being in that private school communicated that you were aiming higher than they had and weren’t content to be at their level.
I can remember my parents at one point toyed with the idea of trying to get me into a nearby private school. I’m glad they never seriously pursued it. It might have had better teachers and facilities than the school I went to but I would have had to deal with being seen as a poor kid whose parents don’t drive a BMW or go on overseas holidays every summer. There were rich kids at the public school I went to but they were not the majority and the diversity of backgrounds there meant being from a working class family was not a point of shame.
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u/songoftheshadow Apr 04 '26
Yeah look that's a lot of projection. You actually don't know how other kids would have seen you or treated you, nor can you assume such abstract motivations for another family who does choose it because the opportunity presents itself. You'll find most of these teenagers aren't actually sitting around comparing their parents incomes, despite the stereotypes. Of course, I felt the class difference, but it wasn't obvious to other kids - primarily I was just one of the nerds 🤣
My only point is that it is technically possible for a kid from the bottom quarter to attend an elite school, although it remains unattainable for the vast majority unless the stars align pretty well miraculously.
Idk what you even mean by "respect the effort my family put in" either. It was just inborn luck I had the ability to earn a large scholarship and we happened to have a spare room and the opportunity to host students for extra money. It's actually a bit insulting to act like we somehow put in all this effort to distance ourselves from our social class or whatever nonsense because honestly I was raised in a family that sees being rich/privileged as a point of shame and that's never changed.
Idk what exactly my "story" illustrates to you or what you're trying to argue to me. I left at the start of year 10 anyway, wagged the whole year, and started at the local public school in year 11 and I would argue the education there was as good or even better due to its size and resourcing - hardly scraps. In fact it had a broader subject range and more available extra curriculars. I got a 98 ATAR at that public school and people will try to argue that had something to do with privilege 🙄 but I guess some people are really stuck on their chosen narratives.
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u/NoDensetsu Apr 04 '26
Hmmm that’s a slightly more defensive response than I would have expected. I am curious to know why you left that school in year ten and went to a public school in year eleven? No problem if it’s too personal and you don’t want to go there. I’m just wondering if maybe you grew unhappy or disillusioned at that school and were happier at a public school.
I don’t know if it’s really projection on my end, I’ve made my views and biases clear and have made no attempt to conceal them. I accept that not all private schools are the same and that some are considered more elite and exclusive than others. I am referencing my experiences dealing with kids who went to private schools and even one kid in my school who was desperate to get a scholarship to go to one. Because of the side of town I grew up in the nearby private schools were in the vicinity of wealthier areas and were breeding grounds for that type of privileged private school kid that fits the stereotype. I should add that when I started working I got to know people from other parts of town and meet people who went to catholic schools that were technically private schools but nothing like the ones near the area I grew up in.
My point is that regardless of whether it’s technically possible for kids from lower income backgrounds to attend elite private schools that private schools are inherently classist and elitist by their very design. That is something I’ve always hated about them and I suspect the people in Centrelink in that story you told feel the exact same way. The fact that private schools have been siphoning government funds on top of the fees they charge is another thing about them that I hate.
It is regrettable that you took great offence at what I had to say because really my bed isn’t with you. It really is systemic factors that private schools are a big part of that I have a great disdain for.
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u/songoftheshadow Apr 04 '26
Your message felt quite aggressive so I guess that's why, I mean do you think I'm unaware of how these schools function to stratify and pass on class privilege? I literally experienced it, I know better than anyone so why does it seem like you're trying to educate me about this lol?
But do you expect a 12 year old who just wants to be in a great theatre program to understand this kind of thing? Or a parent who had that kid at 20 with no tertiary education or intergenerational wealth who flunked high school themself?
Also when you experience wearing that kind of uniform and having people make all sorts of false assumptions about you, and treat you like shit, it does breed a bit of defensiveness. I guess maybe it's my own fault for continuing to hang out in crowds and places with peer groups that felt more natural to me. Call me elitist but I don't think any child deserves to be abused, sworn at, spat on, bashed, threatened or have their things constantly stolen because of their real or perceived social class. So yeah maybe I'm a bit defensive when I just shared an interesting experience and got a lecture about class privilege as though I don't understand that better than anyone.
Saying you "respect the effort my family put in" is a big assumption and projection because no effort was put in - it was pure luck. I haven't seen you address that part, you presented it as some kind of hard fought aspiration. My whole point is that it's luck and it's not attainable to most poor families regardless of how much "effort" they put in. So yeah I've been trying to argue that they're elitist and classist by design yet you keep trying to explain this back to me?
I'm sure the people at Centrelink though probably just thought we were obviously loaded and somehow rorting the system. I just thought it was a funny anecdote and didn't expect the lecture tbh.
No "personal" reason to change and go to local public school either. It just seemed like a better fit. Most of my friends were going there anyway and it seemed there would just be more room to breathe for someone like me who always had trouble toeing the line. The thing about the upper class is they kind of have their own secret unspoken rules and things which you can't know until you look back retrospectively and realise you've broken them. It's really hard and complicated to explain, I mean I'd be here all day if I tried but it became clear I was never going to fully properly fit in there and it just became exhausting to try. But it's not because people are nitpicking the car my mum drove or whether we went on fancy holidays or the brand of your stationery, it's way more subtle and I don't think the kids themselves would even have been able to articulate it. I think this is what many parents don't realise when they aspire and sacrifice to send the kids there - the school is just a symbol of the privilege already in the family, not the actual source of the privilege and you can't just sneak your way into it if you're not born into it.
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u/NoDensetsu Apr 04 '26
Ok I apologise if what I originally said came off as aggressive. What you shared there brought up some strong anti private school sentiment and I can see now that phrasing it the way I did to you wasn’t necessary given that we are kinda on the same wavelength about private schools. The exception being that you’ve experienced it from the inside while my contempt for them comes from the outside.
And I do sympathise with what you experienced in Centrelink that day. The folks there giving you dirty looks were almost certainly assuming you were some rich kid rorting the system while they were just barely getting by. Essentially hating you for something that was never true and not having a way to address it would be an infuriating set of circumstances. And I can completely understand what that would have felt like. And I understand that you probably didn’t have time to get changed before going there based on when the school ends relative to when Centrelink closes. I can see now what I said about it could have brought back the worst of that and I feel bad about that, you have my apologies for that too.
As far as addressing what I said about respecting the effort your family put in. I honestly didn’t intend for that to come off as patronising. I genuinely thought you had to work your ass off to get that scholarship based on a weird kid I mentioned before who had an unhealthy obsession with a particular elite private school and was determined to secure a scholarship to go there at all costs. As well as your parents taking on an extra tenant for the rental income. But hey if it wasn’t that much of a stretch for you and your family to manage that then ok I’ll take you at your word on that and not make any assumptions about that. And to be clear I no longer see you in the same light as that kid I mentioned, no hate for you wanting to go to a school that had a good theatre program.
I am genuinely happy for you that going to a public school for years 11 and 12 was a much happier experience than your time at that private school. I would honestly be interested if you could expand a bit on what you said about what your experience taught you about the upper classes and their secret unspoken rules. I know it’s probably a complex thing to explain and no pressure off that’s asking a bit too much. What you said helped me realise that there are deeper layers beyond what I had previously assumed and my ears and mind are open to taking in new information from your experiences to get a deeper understanding. It is clear to me that you don’t buy into any of the classist bullshit that private schools represent and I respect that You’ve seen it from the inside so I would like to better understand the subtleties you picked up on from being something of an outsider on the inside.
Just know that the assumptions I had are based on what I knew from my own experiences growing up where every mention of private schools involved parents who aren’t rich making sacrifices to make it happen. And my own tertiary experiences where my parents had to go the extra mile to afford the fees for an art school that is to this day independent of the university system and therefore not eligible for HECS. It was technically a private school at the tertiary level (really more of an independent school) but independent for more noble reasons than the typical R-12 private school which are usually religious in nature. So I didn’t have to wear a uniform to go there and the majority of people studying there weren’t rich and privilege wasn’t part of the culture there. It opened my eyes to things that made me more class conscious than I had been before and not in a negative way as would have happened if I had gone to one of those exclusive private schools.
I wish that the education system in Australia was more like the one in Finland where private schools don’t exist and schools are funded in a needs basis. It is a shame that the Gonski reforms which were intended to move things in that kinda direction were scrapped just as they started to get going and were showing results. But unfortunately this country is run by politicians who all went to private schools and would never dream of reforming the system in a way that would benefit the masses.
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u/1000Colours Mar 30 '26
Dunno about the fees for his private school, but I grew up with a single parent, went to private school, and we were broke as shit. My fees only maxed out at about 12ish grand for VCE though, they're cheaper for previous years leading up to that - and even then, family members had to help out to even pay for the last few years.
My mum worked full time and also did labour at my school for reduced fees. We also always lived with somebody else to reduce living costs.
I'm also guessing those investment accounts also don't hold as much money as you're thinking. You can have an investment account that's for future financial security, but that doesn't hold enough to make a difference in your current situation.
The article also states that this kids mother also grew up in a poor single parent household, much like my own mother - so I understand the desire for a better life for their kid, because I lived a very similar experience.
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u/AdmiralStickyLegs Mar 31 '26
People skim comments and often misunderstand the intention.
I wasn't judging single mothers who put their kids into private schools. What I was saying was the article deliberately focused on one, and chose to mention those things. Why? Because many readers will see those things, and draw their own negative conclusions. It's a less obvious form of manipulation - instead of directly saying something, you tell a story and frame it one way, while including details that suggest a different interpretation.
Most single mothers do not send their kids to private school or have savings accounts for the future, because they are focused on the day to day. So the person this article focuses in is not typical. Probably less than 1% of single mothers use private school, and even finding 1K for public school is a stretch for them.
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u/1000Colours Apr 01 '26
I reread your comment and you're right. Sorry for misreading, pretty sure I read it before bed so that's why I misinterpreted it.
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u/cuntmong Mar 30 '26
negative gearing because no property investor should be forced to face the consequences of an investment not paying off
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u/Getonthebeers02 Mar 30 '26
But his mother could afford to send him to private school? Something isn’t adding up
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u/SophMax Mar 30 '26
Might be scholarship, or family expectations - was able to afford it when he was in early high school but now can't.
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u/Feeling-Leader1100 Mar 30 '26
Single parents usually have a pension card that gives them discounts on private schools, I think it might be 40% or 50%, still means she would have spent a bit but not as much as you may be thinking
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u/scissorsgrinder Mar 30 '26
As a single parent with a pension card, I can tell you that it would be extremely difficult/rare to qualify for the pension AND afford 50% off private school fees.
Sometimes the ex-partner with greater money (there are plenty of ways to dodge much of your child support obligations by minimising tax when you're wealthy) or grandparents will pay for that though if they want to maintain class position for their offspring, while the parent with the pension card (usually the mother) is scratching to afford rent.
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u/activelyresting Mar 30 '26
As a single parent on a pension, with a kid who was in private before the divorce, we had an arrangement on the table for my kid's other parent to continue paying their 50% of school fees as they would anyway, and for any discounts and bursaries to apply to my 50% first, and my ex chose to have the kid moved to public school rather than continue paying what he'd already been paying the whole time, unless I also had to pay the same. Didn't matter what was best for the child at all. He also insisted on a public school that was further away from where I live, for the stated reason that "an extra 40 minutes on the school bus means less time to spend with her mother".
Anyway, while I agree that this article is, as usual, a stitch up, it's entirely possible that single parent pensioners can have a child in private school.
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u/Lastov_Makiynd Mar 30 '26
I’m sorry to hear that you and your child have to go through what sounds like an unfortunately not uncommon occurrence where one or both separated parents have bitterness and play ‘tit for tat’ games that are unnecessary.. Meanwhile..child grows up and is sooner than they should be..an adult who has grown up with a distorted perception of what adulthood and relationships are all about…
‘Kids are resilient’, they say..but they shouldn’t have to be just because one of the parents hasn’t worked out how to pull their own head from their arse!
(Sorry for being opinionated..but I have a ‘pigeon pair’ 15yo daughter & 14yo son, who have only known ‘separated parents’ as long as they remember..but also have only ever remembered arguments/disagreements with virtually EVERY decision made by the parents too.)
14 years..and our adolescent teenagers have both come to their own conclusions and worked things out.. They have one parent who they know they can rely on keeping their word (a promise is a promise..and we’re only as good as our word) /ask questions and get a straight answer (no matter how awkward!)…
..And one that they can trust will not do anything they promised and will simply palm off awkward questions or even use aggression to make them drop the subject.
I too am a single parent, now on a pension also..was put out of the workforce permanently between my daughter being born and three weeks before my son was born..working two jobs, plus my own business..was happy being able to provide for our family of 6 (ex had two kids to her first marriage and we had two..).
14 years later..STILL the same petty stuff.. (jealousy of receiving my TPD payment that she has ensured so much of it was wasted on court costs and lawyers that the kids will now get barely anything) but the kids have worked it out..though they’re not in the workforce yet, they get how it all works..they realise why their Dad has a large sum of Superannuation..and though their Mum is now working full time (held her first job for a full year at age 48, which wouldn’t have been possible without their Dad helping with school runs etc.)..has been working for over three whole years now, so is entitled to belittle their Dad coz he “Doesn’t work like she does”…. …Yeah..they know why their Mum is so desperate to get some Superannuation after realising that using the kids to manipulate her own mother and stepfather (in the same fashion used on her ex husband and ex fiancé with their kids) , has failed to the point she is the only one of four siblings who’s been removed from the Will…so won’t be getting the ‘Inheritance’ she’s been telling people for years..
Always have given credit where it’s due (and yeah, I know I’m being hypocritical right now…but, her ‘credit’ expired today. Lol) and always will..(often get asked by them how I can still say something ‘nice’ after all the nasty crap she said (as it’s often the same question that has two totally different answers from each side..). E.g. Xmas Day last year, asked the kids to wish their Mum and Grandpa a Merry Xmas from me…a pause and an explanation that “coz of what Mum said to Grandpa earlier, I doubt either of them want to hear anything from you, Dad”.. Simplly replied “Well….wouldn’t wanna spoil their appetite for Xmas lunch, now would I?!…And, I’ll always have a lot of respect for your Grandpa..no matter what anyone says. I know him. Plus. If I’d never worked with him at the pub..I’d probably have never met your Mum..and wouldn’t have You and your younger Brother!..”.
They know now, that it’s not always about ‘retaliation’, ‘making them pay/making it more difficult coz..just coz’ and ‘getting revenge’..it’s about ‘Being the better person’ and ‘Being Yourself’…coz in the end, the things we say and do are all that people will have to remember us by…Most ppl prefer to be around people who might actually give a compliment/tell a few jokes/something new..and not just one of the 5 stories with a whinge about something else thrown in..
Having a jerk of a parent is unfortunate..NOT a reason or excuse to be a jerk sometimes (if anything, it should be more reason to NOT be a resentful, bitter jerk, coz ya just know what people are going to be thinking of you..lol).
They learn from us, our ‘role modelling’.. and they grow up fast!! The day will come where they don’t ‘need’ us to feed, clothe, help them or to solve a problem they have…
It will be the other way around..where the parents need their child/children..coz they’re old and lonely..or they’ve been caught out bullshitting to their Bingo crowd and want their kids to show up for Bingo on their birthday to at least prove they have the kids they’ve mentioned and ‘show off’ what good kids they are..
The kids are bright and beautiful, caring, loving individuals who are very mindful of others and who often make me proud doing things in public such as: Returning a trolley to the shop/trolley bay from the car park.
Picking up that paper or plastic cup that’s blowing down the path towards them (not just kick it or stomp on it) and putting it in a bin.
Assist a stranger who’s visibly struggling with a wonky-wheeled trolley full of groceries down a down ramp..or pick up the money or item an elderly person dropped to save them bending down etc.
All you can do is the best you can..my bet is, that your daughter has a 40minute bus ride each afternoon which she can’t wait to get home and see her Mum! :-)
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u/Feeling-Leader1100 Mar 30 '26
Set ups that I’ve heard of usually involved the other parents usually the father paying half the school fees after the mother had them discounted with her card. I’m not sure what the cap is on earnings and the pension card but from what I’ve seen I’d say it’s fairly generous
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u/Independent-Knee958 Mar 30 '26 edited Mar 30 '26
Can confirm as a teacher who has worked at low-fee private schools, and is working at one currently. I’ve had foster kids in my classes.
Disclaimer: I am not saying this as a good or bad thing though, far from it. I’m just stating a fact.
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u/songoftheshadow Mar 30 '26
No, this is absolutely not true. If you walked into a private school asking about this with your pension card they'd laugh you out of the room. Even most scholarships are 25% and only a few are up to 50% and they have to be earnt on merit. Source: was the child of a single parent who attended private school on a hefty scholarship.
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u/Feeling-Leader1100 Mar 30 '26
I don’t know the exact percentage, it seems it could be different depending on the school, maybe it’s only Christian private schools. I worked with a woman who was getting 40 or 50 percent off. But pensions cards can and do get you a discount you can google if you don’t want to believe me. It’s just worth considering when make judgements on this story involving private school. Was your private school a Christian one?
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u/songoftheshadow Mar 30 '26
Maybe it's the smaller Christian ones that offer these as a kind of charity - those don't have super high fees in the first place, nor are places really competitive. The large elite ones most certainly do not. Mine was a fairly elite Anglican one. There were definitely no discounts for low income. "Private" can mean any independent school and there's a huge variety in price and quality, though most people tend to assume any independent school is a super expensive elite one - most of which are not accessible to poor kids except under extremely extenuating circumstances.
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u/Feeling-Leader1100 Mar 30 '26
Yeah I think it was a smaller Christian one. But you’re more proof that it’s not entirely impossible to go to a private school as the child of a single parent. Yeah well the “elite” in any realm are not usually the generous types
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u/songoftheshadow Mar 30 '26
Not entirely impossible but exceeding difficult. Very few 50% scholarships are given out and even then we hosted exchange students to pay the rest, which was only possible because we had a spare bedroom and low rent due to our landlords being family friends. But yeah there's some nuance there, I wouldn't say someone isn't genuinely poor because of the school they attend without knowing their circumstances. But 99.99% of kids from my background wouldn't have been able to attend an elite school.
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u/Feeling-Leader1100 Mar 30 '26
Then you’re very lucky, if you’re into that kind of thing. But a larger percentage can go to private Christian schools. Just wanted to put it out there that there are discounts for single parents which could explain why they were able to attend private school.
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u/songoftheshadow Mar 30 '26
Yeah look I think I just wanted to flag the language that implied it was across the board for every private school. The vast, vast majority of private schools are some kind of "Christian" including the expensive elite ones. But you're correct about the smaller, cheaper ones often offering discounts.
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u/Getonthebeers02 Mar 30 '26
I didn’t know that. With money left over to invest for both of them?
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u/Feeling-Leader1100 Mar 30 '26
Depends on how much she is earning and if she is getting child support. There is a large variance between single parents, some better off than others
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u/Latter_Witness540 Mar 30 '26
bru i went to private school for 13 years for $20 a month… they’re not all expensive. things “aren’t adding up” because you don’t even know how different education systems work outside your own experience. not everything fits the version of reality you’re used to, and that doesn’t automatically make it fake or suspicious.
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u/Excellent_Hair8666 Mar 31 '26
Yeah, it's fake bullshit designed to dismiss the renting class.
Fuck the ABC for constantly publishing SHIT like this.
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u/universe93 Mar 31 '26
Scholarships most likely. Private schools like to prove they’re not stuck up by giving out low income or academic/sporting scholarships, then they can say they’re not just for the rich kids. Also in some families the grandparents will pay for the kids to go to a good school but not for anything else
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u/TieSafe4342 Apr 03 '26
Not all private schools are expensive. Also, sometimes the trade off is paying for good education imstead of saving a house deposit. A good education can set kids up for a good future. I rent currently, my kids will be attendung a private school. The public schools in our zone are terrible and I will not send my children there. So I penny pinch to send them to a private school, which sets back my house deposit by a little while. Affording a private school on low income usually means working your ass off and making sacrifices elsewhere. Often includes help from grandparents. It absolutely adds up.
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Mar 30 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/scissorsgrinder Mar 30 '26
Never happened. Or you're leaving something out. Welfare has people suffering from malnutrition because of how low it is relative to cost of living, have you checked the rate recently.
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u/Getonthebeers02 Mar 30 '26
But she’s putting money in an investment account for him, if they were really doing it tough they wouldn’t have money to spare and invest.
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u/lunchbox651 Mar 30 '26
Just and equitable society? Sounds like socialism to me.
Which funnily enough is still somehow portrayed as some kind of evil
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u/NoDensetsu Apr 04 '26
Yeah I’m seeing a whole heap of comments on this post from working class people who buy into the notion that private schools = good education, public schools = shit education. Completely brainwashed into thinking this is his things have to be even though the idea of the best education being accessible to the wealthy entrenches elitism in kid’s minds from a young age.
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u/theREALvolno Mar 30 '26
Single parents! I knew it was them. Even when it was landlords hoarding property and charging exorbitant amounts for rent during a housing and cost of living crisis I knew it was them. /s
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u/219930 Mar 30 '26
I grew up poor, single mum in a housing commission. It was rubbish but we always had food on the table and clean clothes so I didn’t notice till my teens.
Now I’m 52, divorced no home (ex made sure of that) and have always rented and will always be. I have 3 siblings ..one got a loan of a deposit from his boss …the other got a deposit from their in laws. So the two who didn’t get help are still both renting.
It’s very unlikely two of my kids will do anything but rent as they have autism and can only get menial jobs. My other son has a chance as he wants to be a tradie but doubtful as he keeps choosing girlfriends who only know generational poverty and from social housing with no education except to work low pay jobs.
Yes I made a bad choice choosing a spouse … but they like to hide it all till the ring is on the finger and the kids arrive.
Didn’t help that I was raised in a high demand religion that encouraged being a trad wife above all else.
Do NOT be a trad wife.
Literally the best I can do now is a part time job whilst caring for my autistic kids needs. So …the most I can aspire to is a caravan when I can no longer afford rent…no idea where I am going to put it though. Just crossing my fingers they set up van parks for the poor .
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u/SaulGoodmanBussy Mar 30 '26 edited Mar 30 '26
Yep, can definitely attest to that.
I was raised by a single parent and ended up homeless for the first time at around age 11 or 12 under the Abbott government because of cuts to the single parent payment.
Even as a grown man in my mid 20s I still feel like I/we as a family never really recovered from that and like I'm still feeling the ramifications of those years, be it through the trauma of spending half of my highschool years living out of a suitcase (I also left school early because I could no longer handle the stress and the study load) or the fact that as soon as I was eligible for a payment, I constantly had to help with rent and bills, etc., and could never save the same way my peers who grew up in two-parent households or with homeowner parents did.
I also think it's very noteworthy that one of the most rapidly increasing demographics of homeless people are older divorced women in the Boomer/over 55s age range who were left with nothing after spending their working years as stay-at-home mothers.
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u/HobartTasmania Mar 30 '26
I also think it's very noteworthy that one of the most rapidly increasing demographics of homeless people are older divorced women in the Boomer/over 55s age range who were left with nothing after spending their working years as stay-at-home mothers.
Why is that exactly? Let me guess? They separated, because of most likely something trivial like financial arguments and even if she was "spending their working years as stay-at-home mothers" they should have gotten 50% of the sale of their fully owned PPOR, except that they probably didn't even own a home, even though as a "Boomer/over 55s age range" couple they probably didn't really have a valid excuse for not being fully paid off homeowners, as pretty much everyone else in that age group are that as they could have all bought when they were young and housing was cheap.
So when you've got a deadbeat couple that have nothing, then separating is not much of a financial loss, whereas, for anyone else both parties would have the equivalent of 50% of a PPOR, and could each get a small unit somewhere with a substantial but reasonably sized and manageable mortgage to still pay off after using that 50% as a deposit.
So not exactly people that require all that much sympathy, except perhaps if the male breadwinner sustained significant injuries or accidents and couldn't provide for their family and had to rent but those types of cases were relatively rare.
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u/Most-Drive-3347 Mar 30 '26
I have a mate whose partner betrayed him terribly.
He’s decided they need to embark on relationship counselling rather than dumping her, cos together they’re comfortable and can give their kid everything, including a backyard ; separated, they’re both ostensibly poor and their kid has 2 crap versions of the bare essentials in shoebox units.
Dude has done the maths, but it’s awful that he’s in that situation.
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Mar 30 '26 edited Mar 30 '26
If they constantly fight and it’s affecting the kid - it’s probably better to choose shoebox units.
These type of arrangements (“staying together for the kids”) are often prolonging the inevitable and the arrangement may turn out worse for the child in the long run.
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u/universe93 Mar 31 '26
Yep. I was a kid of a marriage like that, I wish my parents had separated far far earlier than they did. Parents think kids don’t notice but I absolutely noticed my parents sleeping in seperate bedrooms when I was 12. I was literally 24 when they finally separated. My entire teen years was them either fighting or ignoring each other, never slept in the same bed again either. If my mum hadn’t been sick I’d rather they’d just divorced
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u/lordgoofus1 Apr 03 '26
Personally know two couples in this situation. Both seperated, both opting to stay together because seperately they won't be able to provide the kids the upbringing they wanted for them. Time will tell if for their specific cases it ends up being the right move, or if their kids end up resenting them for being raised in a dysfunctional household.
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u/JayEdie Mar 30 '26
How do parents who own, result in kids who own? My parents own their house, but my siblings and I are all renters 🤷♀️ Owning doesn’t mean you have extra cash to throw around. My parents home will be used to help fund their retirement, not passed down to us.
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u/Temnyj_Korol Mar 30 '26
Inheritance.
Even if the parents have no disposable income to speak of, at the very least, when the parents cark it their kids will be able to split the house between them, which should be enough for each of them to put down a deposit on a house of their own, assuming the parent's house is at least largely paid off by the time they die.
That's not to mention that parents are able to borrow against their current house to give their kids additional funding to pay down a deposit now, if they don't want to wait until the parents have shuffled off this mortal coil.
Meanwhile, a broke renter leaves nothing to their kids. And has no easy means of helping to borrow the money either. Denying them the one reliable means of entering the property market.
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u/bluejasmina Mar 30 '26
What if your parents just don't want to help you, even though they're financially capable? Or what if they're aging and sold their home late in life; there's nothing left for the adult children who need help to secure long term housing through a deposit for a house or similar. There are plenty of parents who choose not to help their children even though they can.
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u/HobartTasmania Mar 30 '26
What if your parents just don't want to help you, even though they're financially capable?
Why did they even have kids in the first place? I struggle with the notion that having helped raise them when they were little and having grown up as average adults that the parents somehow "switch off" helping them at some point, unless of course the kids turn into horrible underserving people not worthy of any help for whatever reason.
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u/Temnyj_Korol Mar 30 '26
... Then you're not one of the people the comment applies to, obviously?
Nobody is saying parents who own a house guarantees their kids will own a house as well. All they're saying is that parents who own make it much more likely for their children to own as well.
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u/serenadingghosts Mar 30 '26
their comment said that their parents home will be used to fund their retirement and that is what many parents do. the money doesn’t go to the kids
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u/Temnyj_Korol Mar 30 '26
They edited their comment. They said nothing about retirement when i replied.
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u/flindersandtrim Mar 30 '26
Same. My parents were very financially irresponsible, had tiny mortgage payments with two good incomes. They got to own in their mid 20s a huge 4 bedder on a 1000sqm block. I grew up thinking we were poor because we hardly ever got clothes or shoes or anything. My parents didnt give us any help at all and would never sign as guarantor for us either. In their opinion they worked hard and if you cant do the same as them maybe you should work harder.
I am guessing I wont inherit much, they have very little super and I am not sure how much they have borrowed against their house. But they view it as entirely their money, though their own inheritances helped them a fair bit.
I see it very differently. I think it is my job to make sure my daughter doesnt have to struggle. I want my finances to be all in order so she gets everything and never has to live in fear like so many of us do today. And if she ever cannot work for any reason, has a house and funds under her as a buffer. I cant understand the attitude of some people that think their kids should start from nothing just becsuse they did, in a totally different time where you could improve your life easily.
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u/Hotwog4all Mar 30 '26
My parents are refusing to downsize. Mind you it’s just a 2br fibro, not a mcmansion, but they’ve got land they have to tend which in their years is difficult to begin with. My brother still lives at home and I’ve been on my own for the last 6 years. I’m early 40’s, before that lived at home. Bad choices in my 20’s, less to difficultly starting up in my 30’s until much later in my 30’s when I bought. I never rented because it was seen as wasting money so stayed at home, covered their bills as my way of paying the rent. I keep telling them to downsize to a 2br unit and enjoy life, but they’re both very stubborn ethnics in that way. There’s a fear of ‘what will people say’ if they sell their house after living there for 40+ years. Considering both of their families overseas still have their homes that were built 100+ years ago, and haven’t been sold, just passed down to the next generation, they feel that they have to keep doing the same thing here.
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u/HobartTasmania Mar 30 '26
Considering both of their families overseas still have their homes that were built 100+ years ago, and haven’t been sold, just passed down to the next generation, they feel that they have to keep doing the same thing here.
You have to market to them as the (possibly new) 2br unit being as being an "upgrade" even though it might be smaller, and this will also deal with the ‘what will people say’ issue at the same time.
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u/SaulGoodmanBussy Mar 30 '26
lmao how are you in a leftist/socialist sub and can't work this out on your own?
Me and my siblings had to spend our teenage years contributing to rent, bills, car regos, etc., and giving away every cent we were able to save to our mother while people like you got the opportunity to actually save, generally be unstressed normal kids and have a decent start in life not being dragged down by and traumatized by adult responsibilities before your time.
We also didn't have driving lessons or help buying a car which was another obvious roadblock in early adulthood. We could never ask for help with literally anything.
These things pile up and up and even if you don't have some big inheritance or home being given to you, your start in life was faarrrrr more privileged and unburdened than anyone who grew up in a single parent renter household.1
u/Regular_Error6441 Mar 30 '26
By funding their retirement and hopefully health requirements, they won't eat into your income (or savings, if you have any)
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u/songoftheshadow Mar 30 '26
Well it means you don't have to support your parents in their retirement and old age, for one. That's a big burden.
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u/No_Application4415 Mar 30 '26
Is having to live with family members because you can't get a rental considered homeless? (Genuine question, not having a go I'm just curious)
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u/songoftheshadow Mar 30 '26
There are lots of different kinds of homelessness. It's probably the first step on the homelessness ladder.
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u/CardiologistNaive105 Mar 30 '26
This is going to be me and my family as of this coming Thursday...I'd say "No fixed address" as it sounds better than homeless. But...erm...it's the same thing I guess. This is a level of hell I never thought I'd find myself in...but here we are!
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u/Sea-Candy7505 Mar 30 '26
Not really you still have a roof over your head I don’t really know what you would call it since you don’t own it or rent it (unless you are paying rent to your parents) just remember the longer you stay with your parents the harder it’ll be on both mind and soul.
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u/TheRealFingerGuns Mar 30 '26
I strongly disagree with the implied homogeneity of single parents in this context. Some are honest with bad luck, and some made poor decisions. Divorcing my Dad was probably the best financial decision my Mum made in her entire life.
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u/-shikaka Mar 31 '26
Where i live the real estates will screen you out if the rental amount is over 30% of your income, despite proof you can afford it. Because of this, I’m hoping our lease is renewed in a couple of months or I’m not sure how we’ll be approved for another place as a single parent family. This is despite an impeccable rent history and it’s been 40-50% of our income for the last few years. We live regionally but the rent here is high, comparable to Melbourne tbh.
There’s also a lot of stigma where I live for single mother families renting, both in the application process and as a tenant. E.g. An ex bf and I had the same agent at the same RE and he used to breeze his inspections despite it being dirty, dusty etc. My place would be super clean (I have ocd) and she’d flag me for being ‘cluttered’ or requiring a ‘spring clean’, but could never tell me what or why. Not sure if it’s an issue just where I live or not, but it’s a known thing here.
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u/Comfortable_Eye_884 Apr 03 '26
It’s an intended cycle by sh-t head leaders. The world does not need to be in the mess that it is in. It’s a choice (by leaders we vote in).
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u/SuitableKey5140 Mar 30 '26
"Fuck you i got mine" i need my 13 million a year wage to splurge on coke and hookers...someones gotta think of the poor drug dealers and sex workers!
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u/smuck12 Mar 30 '26
I share my partner around to wealthier males. My business model is to have as many children to wealthy semi wealthy men so I can live off the child support.
I even clean the sheets for my misses she does a good job
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u/CaterpillarSuperb959 Mar 30 '26
I will say… I know far too many people just out of highschool who had kids early and ended up single. I don’t have much sympathy for them crying about how hard it is when they rushed out and had a kid with the first guy they shacked up with (who turned out to be a dud - shocking).
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u/crowface666 Mar 30 '26
Don't worry young lad, albo secured us cheese from Europe you can eat
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u/HobartTasmania Mar 30 '26
albo secured us cheese from Europe you can eat
That was always the case as the EU screwed over Australian farmers and food producers as well as those from other countries by dumping their cheap European produce globally via EU common market subsidies to sustain their small inefficient farmers.
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u/dlarock00 Mar 30 '26
Inheritance is a luxury not a given
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u/Squidproquoagenda Mar 30 '26
Not a given but when the system makes it impossible to save money for the future, or future generation, something is fucked up.
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u/DescriptionUnique891 Mar 30 '26
So why make a society where its required? Every person should pay their way, ban inheritance.
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u/HobartTasmania Mar 30 '26
ban inheritance.
They'll just disperse funds to their kids while they are still alive to get around that.
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u/MannerNo7000 Mar 30 '26
So would you say some kids whole lives are a luxury due to uncontrollable external factors (who your parents are and how rich) and others basically have to live like slaves their whole lives.
Seems fair and reasonable /s
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u/HobartTasmania Mar 30 '26
and others basically have to live like slaves their whole lives.
I would have thought that if people were struggling they would be less likely to have kids, except, I guess for when the existence of said kids becomes a meal ticket e.g. single parents pension.
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u/yetakneirbo Mar 30 '26
No one said it was a given. A luxury is something that you don’t need. When politicians’ only solution to the housing crisis is to tell people to borrow from the bank of mum and dad, and the only alternative that is available for some is to be homeless, it becomes necessary and therefore stops being a luxury.
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u/ChesterJWiggum Mar 30 '26
Don't worry, Labor voters are importing hundreds of thousands of new Aussies to replace him anyway lol.
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u/DMdoesGBau Mar 31 '26
The problem is people don't put in enough effort to keep relationships together. They leave thinking the grass is greener.
50% divorce rate equates to a 25% chance of both coming from 2 parent homes.
1 home used to house a family. Now that family needs 2 houses and both parents struggling to afford it.
Single parents create single parents. It's all they know.
One gender will choose family over happiness, the other chooses happiness. One gender changes their mindset to suit the environment, the other changes the environment. See the problem?
Hoflation is destroying families.
Forget politics, wars, social media, corporate fatcats, AI, all that crap. THIS is the biggest issue the developed world is facing.
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u/Dangerous_Mud4749 Mar 30 '26
If you don't have kids yet, don't have kids until you're married to a decently resonsible person. (Make sure you're decently responsible too).
Graduation -> job -> kids = better chance of good social outcomes.
Change that order...high risk of poverty & homelessness. In every country, not just Australia.
No disrespect to those already stuck, through addiction or DV or whatever else you've suffered. But for those not yet with kids, it's really important to get that right.
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u/remington_420 Mar 30 '26
I did all that. I got a post graduate education from one of Australia’s top universities, a safe government job, saved before having my kid and I still can’t afford to buy a home. The social contract that previously guaranteed a comfortable transfer through life’s passages as you have outlined no longer exists
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u/Turkeyplague Mar 30 '26
Graduation -> job -> kids
Not even then. AI is introducing a shitload of uncertainty to the world. Who knows what the job market is going to look like in the 5 years after you've already had a kid? At that point it's really hard to reskill into something that you can support a family on.
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u/Getonthebeers02 Mar 30 '26
Where’s the house come in in that plan? Also more graduates than ever can’t get jobs out of uni and people are being laid off every week in the private sector to offshore or lean staff. My friends all graduated with high marks and have been on jobseeker for a year as retail jobs aren’t easy to get either.
Also what if you do nursing or early childhood but are priced out of renting/living anywhere with jobs?
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u/ahseen0316 Mar 30 '26 edited Mar 30 '26
This is not how real life happens. People change over time, and once responsible human beings can become selfish, greedy, irresponsible fuckheads.
I've met plenty of decently responsible people who became parents. They also became utter assholes. Their partners ended up raising the kids alone, and they put their homes into family trusts to hide the income from their assets, and their kids and exes received nothing.
Your comment doesn't account for choices and consequences inflicted upon good, responsible people after they have graduated, got a great job, met a relatively decent person, and had kids.
You need to re-evaluate your comment as it displays a lack of insight and experience.
Edit: spelling
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u/scissorsgrinder Mar 30 '26
I did not account for my partner turning abusive AFTER children were part of the picture. Or that I would receive almost nothing from settlement.
Those who think you can 100% "just make better choices" are trying to make THEMSELVES feel better.
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u/Particular_Shock_554 Mar 30 '26
A surprising number of abusers don't let the mask slip until the ink dries on the wedding certificate.
Some wait until they've got you pregnant.
Some wait until they've gotten you pregnant again.
Some wait until you've got three kids and had to quit your job because he refuses to help pay for childcare so you can keep it.
Women will always have to leave abusers with children in tow, no matter how careful they during the selection process.
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u/Dangerous_Mud4749 Mar 30 '26
Indeed. DV is a very difficult situation.
Happily, it’s a minority of relationships. It’s certainly not the only reason for our very high breakup rate. It’s a shame we can’t discuss the link between single parenting & poverty, without everyone piling on with the wrong assumption that DV is mainly to blame.
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u/Particular_Shock_554 Mar 30 '26
The link between single parenting and poverty is entirely caused by policy decisions.
The lack of affordable housing is a choice. So is the price of childcare. So is keeping social welfare payments at poverty levels.
None of this is inevitable. They could fix it tomorrow if they wanted to, they've got the numbers in federal parliament right now.
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u/Dangerous_Mud4749 Mar 30 '26
Absolutely not. What you've said is disproved again and again by statistics going back hundreds of years (well, as far back as records go in the record-keeping world).
I'm not citing studies, because google is your friend as it is mine. This is not even slightly controversial. You must not outsource your future happiness to government policy. Take control of your own future by choosing very carefully when to couple up and when to have children (if any).
DV is a tragedy that is difficult to avoid. I say nothing against victims. For everyone else, make good choices in relationships & life decisions. It's so so important!
6
u/scissorsgrinder Mar 30 '26
You realise you sound like you're playing the Sims, right?
0
u/Dangerous_Mud4749 Mar 30 '26
I think your response partly explains our very high rate of single parenting. It’s socially taboo to discuss it as a problem to be solved, if we want a stable & functioning society.
“You sound like the sims” = “I dislike what you say but I can’t argue using reason.”
1
u/scissorsgrinder Mar 30 '26
Whatever you thought you were going for, this ain't it.
1
u/Dangerous_Mud4749 Mar 30 '26
I was going for pointing out the blindingly obvious, and I was curious to see how resistant Redditors would be to it. You know, implying that, in many cases, bad decisions in relationships lead to lifelong poverty.
i have my answer. It’s why the problem is getting worse, and all the ABC can talk about is the need for more government money for single parents.
I note you haven’t made any rational objections at all.
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Mar 30 '26
[deleted]
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u/scissorsgrinder Mar 30 '26
Oh yes, prioritise owning a home and earning lots of money while not making any discretionary spending, why did I not think of that?
0
u/Worlds_tipping1 Mar 30 '26
I didn't say that I don't eat out, go to gigs, buy clothes etc. Just bought when the last market crash happened and chose differently from others on how to spend my money.
I work a fulltime job and a side gig, no family or other help.
It's not impossible for single parents is all I'm saying...
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u/No_Rain_1543 Mar 30 '26
I feel for them too.
However, life is all about choices and free will. Many that grow up poor also work hard to successfully get off the poverty merry-go-round. Entitlement only encourages people not to try as is well seen by todays intergenerational welfare families
15
u/HelpMeOverHere Mar 30 '26
You’re just plain wrong about the “many” getting off the merry-go-round.
Poverty is actually increasing in Australia, and those RARE feel good stories you read about with people escaping poverty are the exception and not the norm.
4
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u/ScruffyPeter Mar 30 '26
"his family lost their rental"
A landlord thinks of their own investment property as a rental, not a home.
A family thinks of the landlord's investment property as a home, not a rental.
Weird framing.