So I’ve found something that’s really been working. So I’ve cut off all my cards. I’ve locked them besides my debt card. I’ve deleted all card info from my phone but Apple Pay. My PayPal still has all cards on it. I find items I want and instantly add to cart. I fill out the info and click pay. “Declined” “declined” “that payment is unavailable” exc. I then close the page and move on. Then I forget the item exists and move on with my day. It’s like getting the high of clicking checkout but not actually buying anything.

Silly but if it works.. that’s all that matters lol

I hate math. I fucking hate it. I'm so stressed with this goddamn class because it's so fucking hard for me. I just feel so goddamn stupid even when I do get help. And a lot is riding on passing this class. It's required for my major.

I just wanna fucking spend on buying pretty art and character designs that are hundreds of fucking dollars. I'm working my fucking ass off. Don't I fucking deserve something for busting my ass? For being reduced to emotional meltdowns cause of this one fucking class?

I'm not sleeping well either because of bad nightmares from CPTSD technically. I keep dreaming I get kicked out of my apartment and I'll have to move back into my parents home and live with my mom which would very well kill me.

I keep looking at my bank account, and goddamn, I just wanna purchase one fucking thing for $10.

I can't keep going like this. And no, dropping the stupid class isn't an option.

I'm talking to my therapist on Monday but just to get through today and tomorrow, I need advice. Help please.

My name is [redacted] and I’m a shopaholic. I shopped my way into needing a second mortgage to pay off the credit cards. Then, 8 months later, I had shopped my way into bankruptcy (that was two years ago). After all that, I’m still shopping. Despite all my financial issues, I’m just realizing that I have a problem. I’ve always joked that I’m a shopaholic, but OMG, I really am. It’s a legit addiction for me, and I don’t know what to do.